Things You Should And Shouldn't Do

You might be aware of some of these, others you might not. It's often surprising the kind of "minor" event that can really weaken or even trash an otherwise solid case. With that said, here are some DO's and DON'Ts to keep in mind.

Don't argue on the phone or in person with your ex-wife. You don't know who might be on an extension phone or in the next room listening in. NEVER make threats of any kind, for any reason. Sometimes, the less you talk to your ex, the better. Not that she would ever lie about what you did or didn't say, right?

If you take a polygraph (lie-detector) test, ALWAYS pay for it in cash, never by check or money order or any other means that can be traced. If the results don't come back in your favor, you'll want to "bury" the test, and you won't want any record or paper-trail that could lead back to it. Some polygraph companies have an arrangement where they'll bill the attorney and then the attorney bills you. This is the best arrangement, as it eliminates any direct paper trail of your taking or paying for a polygraph test. Finally, DON'T tell ANYONE that you've taken (or are going to take) a polygraph test until your attorney gives you permission to do so.

Oftentimes an attorney will suggest you keep a "logbook" of events relating to your case. Remember that these notes might eventually end up in the opposing counsels hands, so record only relevant material and avoid sarcastic comments or notes on your intended legal strategy. Always write in the time and date of each entry you make.

In the same vein, be careful of any notations made on checks or other documents that may be scrutinized by opposing counsel. Almost without doubt, your bank records and canceled checks will be subpoenaed for examination. Count on it.

Take the "high road". If you engage in "dirty tricks" and get caught, you're screwed. I know it's hard to sit there and take it while your crazy ex-spouse plays dirty and accuses you of everything under the sun, hits you with bogus charges, lies, cheats and steals, but the chances are overwhelming that the truth will come out. Judges don't like that kind of garbage, and it'll work against her in the end. It'll work against you, too, so don't do it. It makes it damn hard for your attorney to defend you if you engage in that kind of behavior. Don't do it.

Compile all paperwork that might relate to your case and store it in a secure place. This includes (but isn't limited to) bank records, mortgage documents, work records and pay stubs, psychiatric records, medical claims information, income-tax returns, correspondence from your ex-wife, etc. etc. If the opposing counsel asks for any of it, make copies. NEVER release the originals under any circumstances.

Don't B.S. your attorney or conceal things from him. The more he knows, the better he can defend you. There's nothing an attorney hates more than being "sandbagged" by information popping up that he wasn't aware of. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. With prior knowledge, most of these potential "timebombs" can be defused.

Illegal Drugs: Don't do them, period. Don't buy them, possess them or use them.

If you're charged with child-molestation (a favorite tactic of many women) TELL YOUR ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY. Don't assume that these kinds of charges will "blow over" or be ignored. It really doesn't matter whether you're guilty or not, an investigation will be done. If the proper steps aren't taken immediately, you may lose everything and end up convicted of pedophilia even though you're 100% innocent. These kinds of charges can get totally out of hand very quickly. TELL YOUR ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY.