Divorce games Perhaps the above scenarios don't fit your circumstances? In your nightmare the wife wanted to keep the house, kids, and all your possessions as happened with Rikki's dad in Minnesota or to Bob in Australia. It seems unlikely that she will get everything she wants in a simple divorce. Instead she dials 911, scratches herself up, maybe she has a bruise from a fall and goes to the hospital, or police station, with a story that her husband abused her. Maybe her new boyfriend roughed her up, or you threaten the guy like Dr. Emerson alledgedly did.
In any case, the law requires that you be arrested, evicted from your home, and have no contact with her or your children. Mediation is rarely an option when domestic violence or abuse is charged and was forbidden prior to July, 1999. Months will go by before the case comes to trial. Meanwhile, you are on the street. All of this on the unsupported word of a woman seeking gain, revenge, playing games, or simply wanting to get rid of you.
If you have children in the home, and she has filed domestic violence charges against you, there is also a very high probability that she will, at some point, charge you with abuse of the children as well. Defending yourself against the domestic violence or abuse charges raises the probability of her charging you with abuse of the children. The process she is going through is known as the divorce-related malicious mother syndrome. It may help to look at that Web site to prepare you for what might be coming next. You will need a lawyer!
The Reverend Dennis Austin has looked at the allegations of child-abuse under current laws and finds that:
"Before 1973, child abuse was rarely reported to authorities and often it was covered up. In 1963, reports of suspected child abuse was 160,000 but between 1976 and 1993, the total yearly number of child abuse reports grew from 669,000 to over 2.9 million after the child abuse protection legislation that Senator Mondale sponsored. The passing of this legislation has also resulted in the increase of allegations of child abuse in divorce battles. In 1975, thirty five percent of all child abuse reports were unsubstantiated, but by 1993, that percentage sky-rocketed to sixty-six percent. In divorce, when allegations are made and the police conduct investigations, ninety seven percent of these claims are unable to be substantiated.
It is obvious that many allegations of abuse which are reported in divorce situations are false and ninety five percent of those accusers are women. With the high amount of divorces, the percentage of those divorces which abuse is reported, and the percentage of which are unsubstantiated, it shows that children are being used as pawns to hurt or destroy the other parent. These false allegations of abuse, even if proven to be false, can ruin someone's life and have a devastating effect on the children."
A family quarrel Or another scenario, one where you quarrel with your wife or lover. The next day she calls work and says: "Sam and I had a fight and I don't feel well." Perhaps she has a visible bruise where she bumped into something entirely independent of your disagreement. When she shows up for work, company guidelines, or an overzealous feminist co-worker, get in the act. The police are notified by her company or the co-worker. As hearsay is admissible, arrest and a restraining order are mandatory. Under current law the charges cannot be dropped no matter what she says. As a result, you are homeless, and the only way to clear your name is a jury trial months later. If you plead guilty, or no contest, the restraining order becomes permanent and you are under a lifetime sentence.
She is in fear of you
Many other possibilities can be easily imagined where a woman can abuse the current laws to their advantage if they are seeking financial gain or revenge against any male they have been intimate with. Or perhaps the woman is simply mentally unstable or going through the change of life. Perhaps she is violence prone. Remember, she doesn't have to prove anything, all she need do is claim she is in 'fear' of you, you 'threatened her,' you 'shouted at her,' or she claims 'emotional harm' may result if you remain in your home. For example, you object to your wife's new boyfriend. Whatever the circumstances, without question, you, as a male, will be presumed guilty until you can prove yourself innocent. In addition, you will be punished for the crime while trying to prove yourself innocent.
In her book, When She Was Bad, Patricia Pearson points out (p. 142-143) that:
"With mounting pressure on North American police forces to disavow misogynistic attitudes and take the word of a woman over a man, female psychopaths and other hard-core female abusers have an extremely effective means to up the ante and win the game. It isn't what abusive men do, the robbing of breath, but it is as surely the ruin of a life. The most common theme among abused men is their tales not of physical anguish but of dispossession losing custody of children due to accusations of physical and sexual abuse, and having criminal records that permanently shatter their integrity as loving men and decent human beings."
After proving yourself innocent of domestic violence you may be further charged on a civil basis with domestic abuse, and she may do that many times in multiple jurisdictions without fear of punishment [13-14-102] . She needn't even invent new charges. She can make the same charges repeatedly in different venues even though you've proven yourself innocent of those charges. And everyone you know, or discuss the issue with, will assume you are guilty even after you have proven your innocence.
If you do prove yourself innocent, and don't take extraordinary steps, your name remains on Federal and state databases as having been arrested for domestic violence, or charged with domestic abuse. The database will probably indicate you have restraining orders against you even if they have been lifted. Despite having cleared the record, if you need a security clearance or a financial bond for a sensitive position, the arrest will count against you in and of itself.
The sentence is for life without possibility of parole.