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Deconstructing the Essential Father
This is an article that was printed in the June 1999 issue of the American Psychologist. The
basic premise of this article can be summed up quite neatly: "Fathers are not necessary, and
they contribute little or nothing to the family unit or to a child's development.".
Frankly, we disagree. Ignoring 20 years of scientific studies that show the importance of
fathers, the authors blithely relegate fathers to having one important function- that of a wallet.
We're dismayed to see a reputable journal such as American Psychologist promoting this
egregious fallacy. We're curious to know if they would publish a "scientific" article
that purported to show that mothers were useless and contributed little or nothing to the
family unit. Somehow, we just don't see that as being likely to occur.
Such a study would instantly be labeled as "sexist", "biased", and would be roundly
criticized as being "anti-woman". Publish a paper like this that labels fathers as worthless,
though, and people call it "research".
In any case, read the article, then use your common sense when you ask yourself if fathers are
as useless as Ms. Silverstein and Mr. Auerbach claim.
June 1999 American Psychologist (Journal)
Deconstructing the Essential Father
Louise B. Silverstein, Ph.D.and Carl F. Auerbach, Ph.D.
Yeshiva University
Abstract
Neoconservative social scientists have claimed that fathers
are essential to positive child development, and that
responsible fathering is most likely to occur within
the context of heterosexual marriage. This perspective is
generating a range of governmental initiatives designed to provide
social support preferences to fathers over mothers;
and to heterosexual married couples, rather than
to alternative family forms.
The current article proposes that the neoconservative
position is an incorrect or oversimplified interpretation
of empirical research. Using a wide range of cross-species,
cross-cultural, and social science research,
the authors argue that neither mothers nor fathers are
essential to child development, and that responsible
fathering can occur within a variety offamily structures. The
article concludes with alternative recommendations
for encouraging responsible fathering that do not
discriminate against mothers and diverse family forms.
In the past two decades there has been an explosion
of research on fathers (see Booth & Crouter, 1998; Lamb, 1997;
and Phares, 1996 for recent reviews). There is now a
broad consensus that fathers are important contributors to
both normal and abnormal child outcomes. Infants and toddlers
can be as attached to fathers as they are to mothers.
In addition, even when fathers are not physically present,
they may play an important role in their children's psychological
lives. Other important issues about fathers and families remain
controversial. For example, scholars continue to debate the
extent to which paternal involvement has increased over the past
20 years (Pleck, 1997).
Similarly, we are only beginning to study the ways
that fathering identities vary across subcultures
(Auerbach, Silverstein, & Zizi, 1997; Bowman & Forman, 1998;
Roopnarine, Snell-White, & Riegraf, 1993). Nor do we understand
clearly the effects of divorce on fathers and their children
(Hetherington, Bridges, & Insabella, 1998).
Overall, this explosion of research on fathering has
increased the complexity of scholarly thinking about
parenting and child development. However, one group of
social scientists (e. g. Biller & Kimpton, 1997; Blankenhorn,
1995; Popenoe, 1996) has emerged that is offering a more
simplistic view of the role of fathers in families. These
neoconservative social scientists have replaced the earlier
"essentializing" of mothers (Bowlby, 1951) with a claim
about the essential importance of fathers. These authors
have proposed that the roots of a wide range of social
problems (i. e. child poverty, urban decay, societal
violence, teenage pregnancy, and poor school performance)
can be traced to the absence of fathers in the lives of
their children. Biller & Kimpton (1997, p. 147) have even
used the term "paternal deprivation" in a manner parallel
to Bowlby's concept of maternal deprivation. In our view,
the essentialist framework represents a dramatic
oversimplification of the complex relations between
father presence and social problems.
We characterize this perspective as "essentialist"
because it assumes that the biologically different
reproductive functions of men and women automatically
construct essential differences in parenting behaviors.
The essentialist perspective defines mothering and
fathering as distinct social roles that are not
interchangeable. Marriage is seen as the social
institution within which responsible fathering and
positive child adjustment are most likely to occur.
Fathers are understood as having a unique and essential
role to play in child development, especially for boys
who need a male role model in order to establish
a masculine gender identity (See Table 1 for a definition
of the essentialist perspective).
Our research experience has led us to conceptualize
fathering in a way that is very different from the
neoconservative perspective. Over the past six years,
we have studied the fathering identities of men who
are actively involved with their children (Auerbach et al.,
1997; Auerbach & Silverstein, 1997; Silverstein, 1996;
Silverstein & Phares, 1996; Silverstein & Quartironi,
1996; Silverstein, Auerbach, Grieco, Dunkel, in press).
To date, approximately 200 men from 10 different
subcultures within U. S. society have participated in
this qualitative research. Our research participants include:
Haitian Christian fathers; Promise Keeper fathers;
gay fathers; Latino fathers; White, non-gay divorced, fathers;
Modern Orthodox Jewish fathers; Greek grandfathers.
In contrast to the neoconservative perspective, our data
on gay fathering couples have convinced us that neither a
mother nor a father is essential. Similarly, our research
with divorced, never-married, and remarried fathers has
taught us that a wide variety of family structures can
support positive child outcomes. We have concluded that
children need at least one responsible, caretaking adult
who has a positive emotional connection to them, and with
whom they have a consistent relationship.
Because of the emotional and practical stress involved
in childrearing, a family structure that includes more
than one such adult is more likely to contribute to
positive child outcomes. Neither the sex of the adult(s),
nor the biological relationship to the child has emerged
as a significant variable in predicting positive development.
One, none, or both of those adults could be a father [or mother].
We have found that the stability of the emotional connection
and the predictability of the caretaking relationship are
the significant variables that predict positive
child adjustment.
We agree with the neoconservative perspective that it is
preferable for responsible fathers [and mothers] to be
actively involved with their children. We share the concern
that many men in U. S. society do not have a feeling of
emotional connection or a sense of responsibility toward
their children. However, we do not believe that the data
support the conclusion that fathers are essential to child
well-being, and that heterosexual marriage is the only
social context in which responsible fathering is
most likely to occur.
Many social scientists believe that it is possible to
draw a sharp distinction between scientific fact and
political values. From our perspective, science is
always structured by values, both in the research questions
that are generated, and in the interpretation of data.
For example, if one considers the heterosexual nuclear
family to be the optimal family structure for child
development, then one is likely to design research
that looks for negative consequences associated with
growing up in a gay or lesbian parented family. If, in
contrast, one assumes that gay and lesbian parents can
create a positive family context, then one is likely to
initiate research that investigates the strengths of
children raised in these families.
The essentialist theoretical framework has already
generated a series of social policy initiatives. For
example, a 1998 Congressional seminar that recommended a
series of revisions to the tax code that would: reward couples
who marry; and end taxes altogether for married couples with
three or more children (Wetzstein, 1998). Other federal
legislation has emerged with a similar emphasis on the
advantages of marriage. The1996 welfare reform law begins by
stating, "Marriage is the foundation of a successful society"
(Welfare Reform Act, 1996, p.110). Similarly, a housing
project in Hartford, Connecticut now provides economic
supports to married couples, and special opportunities for
job training to men (but not to women) who live with their
families (LaRossa, 1997). In 1997, Louisiana passed a Covenant
Marriage Act (1997) that declared marriage a lifelong
relationship, and stipulated more stringent requirements
for separation and divorce.
The social policy emerging out of the neoconservative
framework is of grave concern to us because it discriminates
against cohabiting couples, single mothers, and gay and
lesbian parents. The purpose of the current article is to
present a body of empirical data that illustrates the
inaccuracy of the neoconservative argument. Throughout our
discussion, we focus on the work of Blankenhorn (1995) and
Popenoe (1996) because they have been most influential in
structuring both public debate and social policy
(Haygood, 1997; Samuelson, 1996).
Specific aspects of the neoconservative paradigm have been
critiqued elsewhere. For example, McLoyd (1998) has pointed
out that families without fathers are likely to be poor; and
it is the negative effects of poverty, rather than the absence
of a father, that lead to negative developmental outcomes.
Similarly, Hetherington, et al. (1998) have made the point
that divorce does not always have negative consequences for
children. However, the neoconservative argument as a whole
has not been deconstructed. Thus, it tends to be absorbed
in a monolithic fashion, buttressed by unconscious gender
ideology and traditional cultural values. Therefore, we think
that a systematic counterargument is necessary. We will cite
research indicating that parenting roles are interchangeable;
that neither mothers nor fathers are unique or essential;
and that the significant variables in predicting father
involvement are economic, rather than marital. We will
also offer an alternative framework for
encouraging responsible fathering.
We acknowledge that our reading of the scientific literature
supports our political agenda. Our goal is to generate
public policy initiatives that support men in their fathering
role, without discriminating against women and same-sex couples.
We are also interested in encouraging public policy that
supports the legitimacy of diverse family structures, rather
than policy that privileges the two-parent, heterosexual,
married family.
We also realize that some of the research we cite to
support our perspective will turn out to be incorrect.
Haraway (1989) pointed out that, as research paradigms
evolve to reflect diverse gender, ethnic, class, and
cultural perspectives, much of the established body of
"scientific fact" has turned out to be science fiction.
Fishhoff (1990) identified two options for psychologists
in the public arena: helping the public define their best
interests, or manipulating the public to serve the interests
of policymakers. Thus, despite the fact that new data will
inevitably prove some aspects of our argument wrong, we
hope that by stimulating scholarly debate, we will
contribute to the process by which the public more
accurately defines its best interests.
We begin by presenting cross-species and cross-cultural
data that contradict the claim that parenting behaviors
are constructed by biological differences. We will
argue that parenting involves a series of caregiving
functions that have developed as adaptive strategies
to specific bioecological contexts. These caregiving
functions can be performed by parenting figures of
either sex, whether or not they are biologically
related to the child.
We then review the research on marriage and divorce.
This body of data suggests that the poor psychological
adjustment observed in some children in divorcing
families is caused by the disruption of the child's
entire life circumstances, rather than simply the
dissolution of the marriage or the absence of a
father. We present data illustrating that emotionally
connected, actively nurturing, and responsible fathering
can occur within a variety of family structures.
Finally, we examine why the neoconservative perspective
has been so widely accepted within popular culture.
We speculate that the appeal of neoconservative
ideology is related to two social trends: a genuine
concern about children; and a backlash against the
gay rights and feminist movements. We then offer social
policy recommendations that support men in their
fathering role, without discriminating against
women and same-sex couples.
The Essentialist Position
Biological Sex Differences Construct Gender Differences in Parenting
One of the cornerstones of the essentialist position
is that biological differences in reproduction
construct gender differences in parenting behaviors.
This theoretical framework proposes that the biological
experiences of pregnancy and lactation generate a strong,
instinctual drive in women to nurture. This perspective
assumes that men do not have an instinctual drive to
nurture infants and children.
The neoconservative perspective relies heavily on
evolutionary psychology to support this argument.
Evolutionary psychologists cite Trivers' (1972) sexual
conflict of interest hypothesis to explain sex
differences in mating strategies. Trivers' hypothesis
states that, all other things being equal, male mammals
will maximize their evolutionary fitness by impregnating
as many females as possible, while investing very little
in the rearing of any individual offspring. Female mammals,
in contrast, invest a great deal of physiological energy in
pregnancy and lactation, and thus are motivated to invest
a corresponding amount of time and energy in parenting.
Trivers' hypothesis accurately predicts behavior in
many mammalian species. However, Smuts & Gubernick
(1992) have shown this hypothesis to be inaccurate in
predicting male involvement with infants among nonhuman
primates. Unfortunately, Smuts' and Gubernick's critique
of the relevance of Trivers' hypothesis for primate behavior
has not been integrated into evolutionary
psychological theory.
Evolutionary psychology has recently gained prominence
within psychology and other social sciences (e. g. Archer,
1996; Buss, 1995). Because the formal cademic training of
most social scientists does not include cross-species
research and evolutionary theory, many social scientists
have accepted the evolutionary psychologists' use of the
Trivers hypothesis in relation to primate
behavior. However, many scholars within the natural
science community have been critical of evolutionary
psychology (see for example the 20 plus negative
commentaries on Thornhill & Thornhill, 1992; or Gould's,
1997 critique of evolutionary psychology).
Blankenhorn (1995) and Popenoe (1996), like many social
scientists, have incorrectly assumed that Trivers'
theory is true of all primates, and universally
applicable across many different ecological contexts.
However, all other things have generally not been equal
over the course of evolutionary history. As bioecological
contexts change, so do fathering behaviors, especially
among primate males.
Marmosets are an extreme example of primates who live
in a bioecological context that requires males to
become primary caretakers (Smuts & Gubernick, 1992).
Because marmosets always have twins, female marmosets
must nurse two infants simultaneously. This generates
nutritional pressure for the mother to spend all of
her time and energy feeding herself.Therefore the
father most commonly performs all parenting behaviors.
Thus, these animals do not conform to Trivers'
hypothesis about the universality of non-nurturing
primate males. Marmoset males behave like
"full-time mothers."
Marmosets illustrate how, within a particular
bioecological context, optimal child outcomes
can be achieved with fathers as primary caretakers
and limited parenting involvement by mothers. Human
examples of this proposition include: single fathers
(Greif & DeMaris, 1990); a two-parent family in which
the father is the primary caretaker (Pruett, 1989);
or gay father-headed families (Patterson & Chan, 1997).
Another cornerstone of the essentialist position is
that the traditional division of labor characteristic
of Western, industrialized societies has been true
throughout human evolutionary history. Popenoe
(1996. P. 167) stated that our hominid ancestors
"had a strong division of labor in which males did
most of the hunting and females did most of the gathering."
Zihlman (1997), in contrast, has pointed out that for
most of our evolutionary history, human societies were
nomadic. This bioecological context required both men
and women to travel long distances, hunt, gather food,
and care for older children and other members of their
community. Similarly, in contemporary foraging and
horticultural societies, women perform the same range of
tasks as men do, and add infant care to their other
responsibilities. Cross-cultural research illustrates
that women are capable of traveling long distances,
carrying heavy loads, and participating in hunting.
Thus, the assertion that a rigid sexual division of
labor existed over most of our evolutionary history is
not supported, either by what is known about human society
in prehistory, or by contemporary preagricultural cultures.
The neoconservative perspective has also assumed that
providing has been a universal male role. Yet Nsamenang
(1992) pointed out that in many West African rural cultures,
tradition places the sole responsibility for providing
food on mothers. Similarly, in hunting-gathering cultures,
women typically provide 60% of a family's nutritional
requirements (Zihlman, 1997). Thus, in most
preindustrial cultures fathers have never been sole
providers, and in some cultures they do not participate
at all in the provider role.
The neoconservative perspective has also claimed that
mothers are more "natural" caregivers than fathers.
Yet, more than a decade ago, Lamb (1987) reported that
research on mothers and fathers during the newborn period
yielded no differences in parenting behaviors. Neither
mothers nor fathers were "natural" parents. Because mothers
tended to spend so much more time with their infants, they
became much more familiar with their biological rhythms,
visual and behavioral cues, etc. Therefore, when observations
were repeated after a year, mothers appeared as much more
competent caregivers than fathers. Many subsequent studies
have shown that when fathers assume the primary caretaking
role, they are as competent and as "sensitive"
as mothers (Lamb, 1997).
In summary, the neoconservative position is simply wrong
about the biological basis of observed differences in
parenting behaviors. Cross-species and cross-cultural data
indicate that fathering can vary from a high level of
involvement, to a total lack of involvement. Given these
wide variations in paternal behaviors, it is more
accurate to conclude that: both men and women have the
same biological potential for nurturing; and that the
sexual division of labor in any culture is defined by the
requirements of that culture's specific
bioecological context.
"Marriage Matters"
The neoconservative perspective has argued that,
without a biological basis for nurturing in men, the
best way to insure that men will behave responsibly
toward their offspring is to provide a social
structure in which men can be assured of paternity,
i. e. the traditional nuclear family.
Nonhuman primate behavior
This point of view is based on a corollary of Trivers'
(1972) sexual conflict of interest hypothesis, the
paternity hypothesis. Trivers reasoned that without
paternity certainty, males would not risk investing
time and energy in another male's offspring, thereby
decreasing their own evolutionary fitness. However,
Smuts and Gubernick (1992) have demonstrated that
Trivers' paternity hypothesis is not generally predictive
of fathering behavior among nonhuman primates. If
paternity certainty were the most significant variable,
then males should show greater paternal involvement in
species where several females live with only one breeding
male. In species where several males and several females
live together (and therefore multiple mating opportunities
make paternity uncertain), males should have lower
paternal involvement.
The paternity hypothesis does correctly predict male care
of infants in most monogamous species. In most monogamous
mating pairs, male care is high. However, the paternity
hypothesis does not accurately predict male care in other
primate social groupings. With the exception of mountain
gorillas, males in one-male groups (where paternity is
certain) show less paternal involvement than males in
multimale groups (where paternity is uncertain).
Smuts and Gubernick found that the amount of time and energy
males invest in nurturing and protecting infants varies
depending on the mutual benefits which males and females
have to offer each other within a particular bioecological
context. These authors offered an alternative hypothesis,
the "reciprocity hypothesis," to account for variations
in male care of infants. The reciprocity hypothesis predicts
that male care of infants will be low when either males
or females have few benefits to exchange. The probability of
high male care of infants increases when females have
substantial benefits to offer males (e. g. when females
can offer to mate more frequently with specific males;
or provide males with political alliances that enhance
their status within the male dominance hierarchy).
Smuts and Gubernick found that male care of infants
is lower in one-male groups because this system of reciprocal
benefits does not exist. Each female has no alternative
except to mate with the single male, whether or not
he cares for her infants. Because she has no other
mating possibilities, she cannot offer preferential
mating opportunities in exchange for infant care.
Similarly, in a one-male group, the breeding male
does not have to compete for a place within a male
dominance hierarchy. He is the only male in the group.
Therefore, females cannot offer political assistance to
enhance his dominance ranking. Because females lack
benefits to offer males in exchange for infant care,
male involvement, in contrast to what would be predicted
by the paternity hypothesis, is low in one-male groups.
Overall, a very large body of animal research points
to the importance of in array of variables, which we
refer to as bioecological context, in determining parenting
behaviors. Low levels of infant care do not characterize
all primate males. Nor is biological paternity the most
significant variable in increasing the probability of
high male involvement. Other feminist anthropologists
and sociobiologists have similarly deconstructed Trivers'
theory (e. g. Gowaty, 1997; Hrdy, 1997).
In contrast to Trivers' emphasis on universal sex
differences and the relative fixity of behaviors,
these feminist researchers have pointed to the overlap
of behaviors between the sexes, and the relative
flexibility of complex human behaviors. Unfortunately,
this feminist scholarship has not been integrated into
most social science literature.
Human primate behavior
Smuts and Gubernick have made a strong case for the
power of the reciprocity hypothesis to predict male
involvement among nonhuman primates. However, does their
hypothesis predict human primate behavior? We will argue
that the reciprocity hypothesis does predict male
involvement among human primates.
In cultures where women have significant resources to
offer men in exchange for childcare, paternal involvement
should be higher than in cultures where women have fewer resources.
In line with this prediction, paternal involvement in the
U. S., Sweden, and Australia is higher than in more
traditional cultures, such as Italy and Spain, where
women's workforce participation is less widespread
(Blossfeld, 1995). Similarly, Haas (1993) reported that
a survey of more than 300 Swedish families indicated
that fathers participated more in child care if their
partner made as much or more money than they did.
Erikson and Gecas (1991) have provided examples of how
paternal involvement varies based on the benefits men
have to exchange. These authors pointed out that the
least amount of father involvement in U. S. society has
been observed in two groups of fathers: poor, unmarried
teenage fathers; and upper-class fathers in traditional
nuclear families. Teen dads in U. S. society are often
undereducated and underemployed. Therefore, they cannot
make a meaningful contribution to the economic security
of their children. Poor teen fathers do not have
meaningful benefits to offer their child's mother.
As the reciprocity hypothesis would predict, these
fathers are often minimally involved in the lives
of their children.
In upper-class families, in contrast, it is most
often the wives who have few benefits to exchange.
The family's high income is the result of the husband's
earning capacity. The wife's additional economic
contribution is rarely meaningful to the family's economic
security. Most of the wives do not participate in paid
employment. Thus, the upper class wives have few benefits
to offer in exchange for direct paternal involvement. Within
this context, the fathers in these families use their income
to pay for other-than-mother childcare, but do little active
caregiving themselves.
The fathers with the highest level of active childcare
involvement are in dual-shift, working-class families.
Pleck (1993) has estimated that fathers in this family
context are responsible for, on average, 30% of childcare.
Working class, dual shift families are the context in which
mothers and fathers are most evenly matched in terms of the
resources they have to exchange. Both parents' incomes are
significant to family stability. Because they work opposite
shifts, involvement in childcare by the at-home parent is
necessary for child well-being. From the perspective of
the reciprocity hypothesis, the parity of resources between
husband and wife within this family structure
generated the high level of paternal involvement.
Stier and Tienda (1993) have provided other data that
support the link between father involvement and economic
benefits. Using interviews from more than 800 resident
and non-resident fathers living in poor neighborhoods
in Chicago, these authors examined the relations
between paternal support and several background variables.
The researchers found that the only significant predictors
of which fathers would pay child support were those that
reflected the father's economic status. Fathers who were
currently employed were three times more likely to support
their nonresident children compared to fathers who were not working.
In summary, these data on human parenting behaviors conform
to the predictions of the reciprocity hypothesis. In social
contexts where either the father or mother has few benefits
to exchange, paternal involvement is low. When both fathers
and mothers have benefits that contribute to family
wellbeing, paternal involvement is relatively high.
Thus, improving employment opportunities for women, as
well as men, is crucial to increasing father involvement.
These findings suggest that in our current cultural
context, it is economics, not marriage, that "matters."
The Civilizing Effects of Marriage
The essentialist position has also proposed that marriage
has a "civilizing'" effect on men. Popenoe, reflecting this
point of view, has stated that "...all successful societies
have imposed social sanctions on men...the most important of
these is the institution of marriage" (p. 164). Similarly,
Blankenhorn (1995, p.223) declared that "marriage constitutes
an irreplaceable life support system for effective fatherhood."
Blankenhorn further asserted that marriage protects women
and children from domestic violence (1995, p. 34). He
reported that, as the percentage of men living within
the confines of marriage has declined over the past two
decades, domestic violence has increased. However, a recent
report on intimate violence published by the U. S. Department
of Justice (1998) indicated that, as marriage has declined over
the past two decades, so has intimate violence. This report
stated that murders of women by their intimate partners
decreased 40%, from 3,000 in 1976, to 1800 in 1996.
Similarly, non-lethal violence (sexual assault, robbery,
aggravated and simple assault), declined from 1.1 million
reported incidents in 1993, to 840,000 in 1996
(U. S. Department of Justice, 1998).
Blankenhorn and Popenoe have also argued for the protective
effect of biological fatherhood within the context of marriage.
Citing a study by Daly & Wilson (1985), Blankenhorn claimed that
children are more frequently abused by stepfathers than
by biological fathers. However, Sternberg (1997) pointed
out that Daly and Wilson specified only that the more
frequently abused children lived in households with stepfathers.
They could not specify whether the perpetrator of the abuse
was the stepfather, the biological mother, or another adult
in the household. Malkin and Lamb (1994), in an attempt to
correct for this design flaw, included information about
the perpetrator's gender and relationship to the child. They
found that biological caretakers, in both stepfamilies and
biological families, were more likely to engage in serious
physical abuse than stepparents. Nonbiological caretakers,
in contrast, committed minor abuse.
These findings are confirmed by the Third National
Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect
(Sedlak & Broadhurst, 1996). This study reported that
the majority (78%) of children who suffered maltreatment,
both neglect and abuse, were maltreated by a birth parent.
Parent substitutes (foster, adoptive, step) were responsible
for the abuse in only 14% of reported cases. In terms of
sexual abuse, 46% of children were sexually abused by a
stranger. Birth parents were about as likely to be sexually
abusive (29%) as were parent-substitutes (25%). These
statistics do not support the neoconservative contention
that stepfathers or mother's boyfriends abuse children
more frequently than biological fathers (and mothers).
In a comprehensive article reviewing the nature, causes,
and consequences of abuse, Emery and Laumann- Billings
(1998) have identified multiple variables that lead to
abuse. These include: personality of the perpetrator,
such as low self-esteem or poor impulse control;
characteristics of the immediate family context, such as
job loss; and qualities of the broader ecological context, such
as poverty or high levels of violence in the community.
Stepchildren, unplanned children, and children in large
families are all at greater risk for abuse. Thus, high
levels of child abuse are associated with a broad array
of biopsychosocial variables. In summary, we do not find
any empirical support that marriage enhances fathering,
or that marriage "civilizes" men and protects children.
Fathers Make a Unique and Essential Contribution to Child Development
The neoconservative perspective has proposed that, if
men can be induced to caretake young children, their
unique, masculine contribution significantly improves
the developmental outcomes for children. From the
essentialist perspective, "fatherhood privileges
children...Conversely, the primary
consequences of fatherlessness are rising male violence
and declining child well-being and the underlying source of
our most important social problems..." (Blankenhorn,
1995, p. 25-26).
These claims represent an oversimplification of the data.
On average, children from divorced families have been shown to be
at greater risk for a range of problems than
are children from nondivorced families. However, it is also
true that 75% of children from divorced families exhibit no
negative effects (see Hetherington, et al., 1998 for a review).
Furthermore, the size of the negative effect of divorce is
considerably reduced when the adjustment of children preceding
divorce is controlled. For many of these children, the problems
attributed to divorce were actually present'prior to the divorce.
In addition, divorce does not affect all children'negatively.
Amato, Loomis, & Booth (1995) reported that, although children
from low-conflict marriages were stressed by divorce, the
adjustment of children in high-conflict marriages actually
improved after divorce. Overall, the research suggests that
divorce does not irretrievably harm the majority of children.
Hetherington, et al. (1998) have pointed out that divorce
is not a single event, but rather a cycle of negative events.
The cycle begins with marital conflict, followed by
dissolution of the current family structure, and culminates
with the formation of separate households. In the
majority of families, at least one parent remarries, forming a
new, blended stepfamily. In addition, divorce occurs more
frequently in second marriages, reinitiating the disruptive
cycle of loss and conflict. This cycle entails
economic stress, disrupted attachments, and often separation
from the family home and neighborhood.
In his deconstruction of Bowlby's maternal deprivation
hypothesis, Rutter (1974) illustrated that the negative
developmental outcomes observed in institutionalized infants were
caused by the disruption of the child's entire life circumstances,
rather than simply separation from mother. Likewise, it seems
more probable that the link between marital transitions and negative
developmental outcomes is due to the disruption in the
entire life circumstances of children, rather than
simply to the absence of a father.
Blankenhorn's and Popenoe's reliance on the father-absence
research paradigm is surprising, since the limitations of this
approach have been documented by many researchers
over the past two decades (see Phares, 1996 for a review).
Father absence covaries with other relevant family
characteristics, i. e. the lack of a male income;
the absence of a second adult; and the lack of
support from a second extended family system. McLoyd
(1998) has pointed out that, because single-mother families
are over-represented among poor families, it is
difficult to differentiate the effects of father absence
from the effects of low income.
Another major limitation to this paradigm is that father
absence is not a monolithic variable. Qualitative research
has shown that relationships between "absent" fathers and their
children can vary widely. Weil (1996) studied 22 divorced fathers
who were recruited from a self-help fathers' rights group.
These middle-class, suburban, mostly White fathers used a
variety of settings, e. g. school, day care, extended-family
events, to increase their interaction with their children above the
limited contact specified in their visitation arrangements.
In another study, Way and Stauber (1996) interviewed 45 urban
adolescent girls about their relationships with their
fathers. Of the 26 girls who did not live with their fathers,
7 reported weekly contact with them; 10 reported occasional contact;
while only 9 reported almost no contact. Thus, father
involvement exists on a continuum, whether or not fathers
live with their children. Fathers can be "absent" even when
they reside with their children, and "present" despite
nonresident status.
The essentialist position also fails to acknowledge the
potential costs of father presence. Engle & Breaux (1998)
have shown that some fathers' consumption of family resources
in terms of gambling, purchasing alcohol, cigarettes, or other
nonessential commodities, actually increased women's
workload and stress level.
The importance of a male role model
Another aspect of the neoconservative perspective is the
argument that "key parental tasks belong essentially and
primarily to fathers" (Blankenhorn, 1995, p.67). Fathers
are seen as essential role models for boys, relationship
models for girls, and "protectors" of their families
(Popenoe, 1996, p. 77). However, there is a considerable
body of empirical evidence that contradicts these claims.
The essentialist perspective assumes that boys need a
heterosexual male parent in order to establish
a masculine gender identity. Pleck (1995) has demonstrated
that empirical research does not support this assumption.
Similarly, a significant amount of research on the
children of lesbian and gay parents has shown that children
raised by lesbian mothers (and gay fathers)
are as likely as children raised in a heterosexual,
two-parent family to achieve a heterosexual
gender orientation (Patterson, 1995; Patterson and Chan,
1997). Other aspects of personal development and
social relationships were also found to be within the normal
range for children raised in lesbian and gay families.
However, persistent, although inconsistent, findings suggest
that the negative impact of divorce is more significant for boys
than girls. After reviewing the divorce and remarriage research,
Hetherington et al. (1998, p. 178) concluded that "the presence
of a father may have positive effects on the well-being of boys."
These authors also pointed out that the research is not clear
as to how father presence acts as a protective factor for boys.
Lytton and Romney (1991) in a meta-analysis of 172 studies found
very few significant differences in the ways that
mothers and fathers treated girls and boys. Similarly, Lamb
(1997) concluded that "very little about the gender of the parent
seems to be distinctly important" (p. 10). Thus, the relation
between father presence and better developmental outcomes for
boys remains correlational, not causal.
We speculate that the larger cultural context of
male dominance and negative attitudes toward women may interfere
with the ability of many single mothers to establish an
authoritative parenting style with male children. Within
patriarchal culture, boys know that when they become adult men,
they will be dominant to every woman, including their mother.
This cultural context, unmediated by a male presence, may
undermine a single mother's authority with her sons.
Qualitative research is needed to explore the subjective
experiences of boys in single mother, single father, and
two-parent nuclear families in order to understand
these persistent, but unclear findings.
Taken as a whole, the empirical research does not support
the idea that fathers make a unique and essential contribution
to child development. From our perspective, it is not the decline
of marriage that is discouraging responsible fathering.
Rather, various social conditions inhibit involved parenting
by unmarried and divorced men. For example, unmarried teen
fathers typically have low levels of education and job training.
Thus, they lack the ability to contribute significantly to
the economic security of their offspring. Similarly, many
divorced fathers cannot sustain a positive emotional
connection to their children after the legal system
redefines their role from parenting to visitation.
Social policy is needed that removes the impediments
to paternal involvement for never-married and divorced fathers.
Rather than privileging the institution of heterosexual
marriage at the expense of other family structures, it is
essential to strengthen the father-child bond within all
family contexts, especially nonmarital contexts.
Change and the Change-back Reaction
If the essentialist paradigm is not supported by empirical
data, why has it been so widely accepted
it? We believe that the appeal of the essentialist position
reflects a reaction against the rapid changes
in family life that have taken place in the past
three decades. Since the 1960's, family formation
strategies have changed dramatically in Western,
industrialized cultures (Blossfeld, 1995). The
cultural norm of early and universal marriage has been
reversed. Fertility rates have declined overall,
and age at the birth of a first child has risen across
all cohorts. More couples are choosing to live
together outside the context of marriage, and a
first pregnancy more frequently precedes, rather than
follows marriage. Previously rare family types, e. g.
single-mothers-by-choice, dual career, and
gay/lesbian-parents are increasingly more common.
Industrialized cultures are in the process of changing
from a context in which child development could flourish
with fathers as the sole or primary provider, to a context
in which two providers are now necessary in the vast
majority of families. In a survey of 1,502 U. S.
families, 48% of married women reported that they provided half
or more of the family income (Families and Work Institute,
1995). Given this commitment to breadwinning, women can no
longer shoulder the sole responsibility for raising children.
In this context of rapid change, the neoconservative
position reflects a widespread societal anxiety
about "Who will raise the children?" Mothers are no
longer at home, and society has not embraced
"other-than-mother" care. The U. S., in contrast to
other western countries, has not yet developed a
social policy agenda designed to help women and men integrate
their work and family responsibilities. Thus, many people
believe that a return to the traditional nuclear family structure
with its gendered division of labor would be preferable to
large numbers of neglected and unsupervised children.
In addition to an authentic concern about the welfare of
children, we believe that the appeal of the
"essential father" also reflects a backlash against the
gay rights and feminist movements. In the past
two decades, the employment of women has dramatically
increased, while the employment of men
has declined significantly (Engle & Breaux, 1998).
Many more women than in past historical periods
can now choose to leave unsatisfactory marriages or
to have children on their own, outside of the
context of a traditional marriage. Two of three divorces
are now initiated by women (Rice, 1994).
Just as the feminist movement created new opportunities
for women, the gay rights movement has
encouraged many more gay men and lesbians to live
an openly homosexual lifestyle. Many gay men
and women who would previously have entered into a
heterosexual marriage in order to have
children, now see a gay family structure as a
viable alternative for raising children. Parallel to
these changes, is the tendency emerging among
heterosexual couples to live together and delay marriage
until after a first pregnancy (Blossfeld, 1995).
Thus, the distinctions between marital and cohabiting
unions, and between marital and non-marital
childbearing are losing their normative force.
These social changes require heterosexual men to
relinquish certain aspects of power and privilege
that they enjoyed in the context of the traditional
nuclear family. Most men no longer have sole
economic power over their families. Similarly, most
men must accept some degree of responsibility
for childcare and household tasks. The majority of
heterosexual men no longer have full-time wives
to buffer the stress of balancing work and family
roles. Within this new context of power sharing and
role sharing, heterosexual men have been moved from
the center to the margins of many versions of
family life. In our view, the societal debate about
gender differences in parenting is, in part, a
reaction to this loss of male power and privilege.
We see the argument that fathers are essential as
an attempt to reinstate male dominance by restoring
the dominance of the traditional nuclear family
with its contrasting masculine and feminine gender roles.
Family systems theory (Kerr & Bowen, 1988) has proposed
that natural systems (such as families and societies)
fluctuate between periods of homeostasis and periods of
disequilibrium. When change occurs, elements within the
system react with a pressure to change the
system back to its prior state of homeostasis. This cycle
is called change and the change-back reaction.
The current social context of multiple and diverse family
structures, with their interchangeable parenting roles
and more egalitarian distribution of power, challenges
the dominant cultural ideology. From our perspective,
the emphasis on the essential importance of fathers
and heterosexual marriage represents a
change-back reaction. It is an attempt to reassert
the cultural hegemony of traditional values such as:
heterocentrism; Judeo-Christian marriage; and male
power and privilege.
An Alternative Blueprint for Social Change
We have argued that the neoconservative paradigm
is based on an oversimplification of empirical
research. Thus we believe that the social policy
emanating from this perspective cannot ultimately be
successful in encouraging responsible fathering. Pressuring
men and women to enter into or maintain
unsatisfactory marriages is unlikely to enhance
paternal involvement. We will now present an
alternative framework that we believe more accurately
fits the data. Our framework has three main
recommendations: reconstructing traditional masculinity
ideology; restructuring societal institutions;
and providing a comprehensive program of governmental
subsidies to all families with children.
Because we believe that ideology defines both social
policy and individual behavior, our first
recommendation speaks to the necessity of reconstructing
cultural ideology about gender roles. The
neoconservative perspective also wants to reconnect
fatherhood and masculinity. Blankenhorn
(1995, p. 223) has stated that "being a real man
[must come to mean] being a good father."
However, within the essentialist framework, responsible
fathering is inextricably intertwined with
marriage. Our goal, in contrast, is to create an
ideology that defines the father-child bond as
independent of the father-mother relationship.
If the father-child bond were accorded the same
importance as the mother-child bond, then young
boys would be socialized to assume equal responsibility
for the care and nurturing of their children.
A father's relationship with his children could
then develop and remain independent of his
relationship with the child's mother. This ideological
shift would encourage the development of
diverse models of responsible fatherhood. Roopnarine,
Snell-White, & Riegraf (1993) described a
group of African Caribbean fathers living in a
variety of relationship contexts, e. g. marital, common
law, and "friending," who behaved responsibly to both
biological and step-children. These data
indicate that responsible fathering need not be
dependent on a marital relationship.
We believe that this change in cultural gender ideology
would be effective in maintaining a high level
of paternal involvement for resident as well as
nonresident fathers. Divorce and nonmarital childbirth
would then be less likely to be characterized by father
absence, since cultural norms would
prescribe that never-married and divorced fathers
remain actively involved with their children.
This ideological enhancement of the father-child bond is
also necessary for restructuring societal
institutions so that father involvement is encouraged,
rather than inhibited. Maintaining the sacred
status of the mother-child dyad continues the myth
of separate, i. e. gendered, spheres of life. The
cultural assumption of separate spheres links
public/work/masculine and private/family/feminine. This
cultural linking of family and feminine is reflected
in the assumption that women, but not men, will
decrease their involvement in paid work in order to
balance the competing demands of work and
family life.
Pleck (1993) found that men are reluctant to take
advantage of family-supportive policies because
they fear that they will be perceived as uncommitted
to their job, or unmasculine. Until workplace
norms acknowledge that men have equivalent responsibility
for childcare, it is unlikely that most men
will feel comfortable restructuring their commitment
to work in a manner that allows more family
involvement.
In the context of poor, ethnic minority families, it
is often fathers, rather than mothers who have no
resources to exchange. More than a decade ago,
Wilson (1987) pointed out that institutionalized
racism caused minority men to be marginalized, first
from the labor market, and then from the family.
Governmental policy must acknowledge the link between
father absence and job absence. Men
who can contribute substantially to family finances
are more likely to get married and to assume
financial responsibility for their children.
Our final recommendation relates to an overall governmental
family policy. The U. S. cultural ideology of rugged
individualism continues to assume that individual
families can and should balance the stress of work and
family without the benefits of large-scale government supports.
The U. S. remains one of the few industrialized countries
without a comprehensive family policy that provides:
paid parental leave, governmentally financed day care,
and economic subsidies for all families with
children. Without these benefits, the responsibility for
childcare continues to fall largely on women.
Because women continue to bear the bulk of the
responsibility for the welfare of children, the goal
of economic equality remains elusive. Providing families with
governmental supports would not only alleviate many of the
stresses of working families, it would also free women
from the unequal burden of making major accommodations in their
involvement in paid work. This shift would then decrease
gender inequalities in the workplace, provide women with
more resources to exchange, and thus contribute to
higher paternal involvement.
How can these societal changes be achieved? Haas (1993)
pointed to the high participation by women in politics as one
of the social forces that has been significant in
establishing progressive family policy in Sweden.
Since the early 1970s, women have held one-third
or more of the seats in parliament, compared to 12% in
the 1996 U. S. Congress (The World Almanac, 1998). The
example of Swedish politics suggests that until more
women become active in government, many of
the governmental supports needed to help families
may not be forthcoming.
Conclusion
We have tried to illustrate how the essentialist
position does not accurately reflect relevant empirical
research. We have provided an alternative explanation
of the research, and generated recommendations for social
policy supports to mothers and fathers that we
believe will more effectively achieve the goal of reconnecting
fathers and children. We hope that this article will
generate scholarly debate within the psychological
community, and encourage a critical analysis of
the essentialist paradigm.
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Author Note
The authors want to thank Cheryl B. Travis for her support as
action editor for this article.
Correspondence should be sent to Louise B. Silverstein, Ph.D., 99 Clinton
Street, Brooklyn, NY 11201, email: LBSREMSEN@AOL.COM.
Table 1.
The Essentialist Paradigm.
1. Biological Sex Differences Construct Gender Differences in Parenting.
The biological experiences of pregnancy and lactation generate a
strong, instinctual drive in women to nurture. In the absence of these experiences,
men do not have an instinctual drive to nurture infants and children.
2. The Civilizing Effects of Marriage.
a. Because a man's contribution to reproduction is limited to the
moment of conception, active and consistent parenting on the part of men is
universally difficult to achieve.
b. The best way to insure that men will consistently provide for
and nurture young children is to provide a social structure in which men can be
assured of the paternity, i.e. the traditional nuclear family.
Without the social institution of marriage, men are
likely to impregnate as many women as possible, without behaving
responsibly to their offspring.
3. The importance of a male role model.
If men can be induced to caretake young children, their unique,
masculine contribution significantly improves developmental outcomes
for children. This is especially true for boys who need a male
role model in order to achieve a psychologically healthy
masculine gender identity.
The full text of this article has been quoted for informational and
educational purposes only. No copyright violation is intended.
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