SPARC Forums

Final Decree entered in NC
NCP resides in NC
CP resides in AL

Seperation agreement drawn up by attorney & incorporated as final divorce decree.  

I am the "wife".  I moved with kids from NC to AL in Sept.

Custody

"The wife shall retain custody and control over the minor children.  The parent retaining custody shall be referred to herein as the Custodial Parent.  The parent referred to as the Non-Custodial Parent.  The Custodial Parent agrees to consult with the Non-Custodial Parent on such matters as major medical treatments and the selection of schools for the children to promote the best interests of the children.  The Custodial Parent shall exercise final determination of these matters."


Visitation

"The Non-Custodial Parent shall have the right to visit the children contingent upon him being current on the hereinafter required child support payments at all reasonable times and places.  Proper advance arrangements shall be made by the Non-Custodial parent with the respect to the exercise of these visitation rights"

Ex-H has history of anger issues.  DSS also investigated him for neglect since older daughter began self mutilating while visiting him.  She was in counseling at the time & is still in couseling with major anxiety issues revolving around BD.  Civilian DSS recommended anger management & parenting classes, however he's military & they protect their own, so they said the allegations were unfounded.


1.  Do I have full sole & legal custody?

2.  If I (along with counselor) feel that the visits are going to be detrimental to older daughter's well being, can I prevent visitation?  

3.  Can I also keep younger daughter (4) from going if older daughter (9) isn't going?

Thanks!

>1.  Do I have full sole & legal custody?

Yes.

>
>2.  If I (along with counselor) feel that the visits are going
>to be detrimental to older daughter's well being, can I
>prevent visitation?  

No. If the NCP is current with support payments, then he has the "right" to visit. However, the order is so vague, that you could argue that the only "proper" advance arrangements are those which would include supervised visitation, i.e., NCP cannot take the children from your home.

This is an "argument," however, If the NCP decides to ask the court for a clarification, you may lose the argument. As it stands, the ambiguity of the order would prevent you from being held in contempt, unless you were to simply refuse visitation under conditions which are reasonable beyond doubt.

Supervised visitation is "reasonable" enough to avoid a contempt, but the court may later modify the orders to permit unsupervised, if the NCP requests a hearing.
>
>3.  Can I also keep younger daughter (4) from going if older
>daughter (9) isn't going?

See above.