SPARC Forums

Main Forums => Shrink Rap => Topic started by: Forthelittleones on Jan 18, 2004, 03:41:53 PM

Title: GAL appointment
Post by: Forthelittleones on Jan 18, 2004, 03:41:53 PM
This was posted on Dr. Reena's board but she hasn't had time to look at it. So we wanted your thoughts...

My Dh just got notice that a GAL was appointed in the case of his ex wife trying to take away all visitation due the the childs therapist stating that the child -6yo wants to stab and shoot us. These are almost verbatim of the same allegations the therapist made and that the court threw out 2 years ago. Anyway, the GAL was appointed due to the courts own motion.

EX filed motion to reduce visitation, DH has not filed anything then we recieve this.

Also, with our last GAL, we followed the advice given here and prepapred a notebook, transcripts, etc. The GAL favored the father but stated that both parties had too much evidence and had presented too much material. With this new GAL, should we do the book or just give it some photos, etc? The last GAL (not the same one as this one) stated that if mom continued he would change custody.

1. Would you like to give a stab at why the court would appoint a GAL on its own and what this typical means?

2. With this new GAL, should we do the book or just give it some photos, etc?  If we do the book, I am afraid that we will look like we are trying to be controlling etc.  If mom does the book and we dont, and just provide a video, etc then maybe we will look better, I dont know.

3. In light of what the former GAL stated do you think that the current GAL if she found the same thing and that the pattern had continued that she would recommend a change although it was Mom who is iniating a change to the parenting plan?

4. If mom requested a change in the visitation order, neither party requested a GAL, court orders one, does that mean that the court on the recommnedation of the GAL could change custody since Mom opened up the whole visitation thing?


Title: Bump- Dr. D please look at
Post by: Forthelittleones on Jan 24, 2004, 10:24:17 AM
Please review
Title: bump
Post by: Forthelittleones on Jan 30, 2004, 02:35:31 PM
Title: RE: Not Dr. D ( but here's what I think....
Post by: Indigo Mom on Jan 30, 2004, 06:27:03 PM
It's obvious you just found out about you haven't met this new GAL.  I suggest you wait to meet him/her so you can get a "feel" for what he/she is about.

The reason the court appointed a GAL without either of you suggesting it is because this is high conflict.  The parents can NOT get along.  There are too many problems/issues.  The Judge is probably sick and tired of hearing all the he said/she said stuff.  The Judge more than likely is shaking his he ordered someone to investigate this crap and give him a report in a professional manner.

I'm not knockin' ya...I've had 3 of those critters on my sons that was DEFINITELY high

Where is the 1st GAL?  Removed for some reason?  Or off the case because you already went to permanent orders?  

One thing I never did with any of the GAL's is give books, pictures, videos, etc.  (I lied, I gave each of them a copy of monsters criminal record) I just did my thing...I spoke.  I let each of them know what's up, and I spoke the truth.  I don't think they want to be overwhelmed with a bunch of stuff, as your first GAL mentioned.

Go in there, meet the GAL, make your focus the child and ONLY the child.  Don't diss the mother (do that  Discuss your concerns, but every step of the way...focus on the child.  (if the GAL requests these things...give 'em up)

-----does that mean that the court on the recommnedation of the GAL could change custody since Mom opened up the whole visitation thing-----

A GAL's word is more powerful than the Gods.  I've had a hearing, where the Judge has agreed to the GAL recommendations WITHOUT even reading it.  Isn't that crazy?  Judges weigh their decisions HEAVILY on what the GAL says/requests.

Anything can happen....and that, my dear, is scary.  
Title: Thanks for your thoughts..
Post by: Forthelittleones on Feb 07, 2004, 07:24:38 PM
See my update on the visitation board.  It appears that the GAL is for DH and is ready to make a change in custody if we are provided to be sane.

Thank you for your time and help!!
Title: RE: Thanks for your thoughts..
Post by: Indigo Mom on Feb 08, 2004, 10:11:51 AM
Bringing my response here....

(read this on socs board)

-----Pretrial this past friday - Judge ordered BM to place on deposit 50K for evals plus pay DH/my airfare, car rental and food for the time it takes to do the eval. Then the Judge set the case for a change in custody trial.-----

Ok, I don't want to jump the gun, but...well...I'm jumping!  Daaaaaaaamn!  She has to come up with 50k, pay for BOTH of your plane tickets, car rental and food?  Honey...mefinks you have absolutely NADA to worry about.  I've never heard of anything!!!!  Damn!  I'm wondering...did the GAL request this to the Judge, then he set it???  If so...damn!  

-----1. Since BM filed a change in visitation, can the GAL and Judge change it to a change of custody motion on their own?-----

Yep.  Like I said, a GAL's word is the gospel to a Judge.  Looks like your GAL sees right through the 'mama' and is deciding the child shouldn't be "with" her all the time.  

-----2. Have you seen a GAL independately recommend a change in custody when a vistation modification was requested by one parent?-----

No, but I've seen "worst case scenario" by two different GAL's.  One showed me to be "unfit and improper" to have my child, the other shredded monster within inches of his life.  You can't find another example of ultra extremes!  LOL.  If the GAL is doing this on his/her own, don't question it...go with it!  It's looking to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the favor of custody to your hub.  Way cool!

-----3. any other thoughts you have are always appreciated!-----

One thought.  Sit back and watch the fireworks.  I wish I was there to watch it, too.  Let the GAL "do her/his thang" and just roll with it.  

Oh wait...are you sane?  That's the only roadblock here....just kidding.  

Have a great day!

Title: Sane - No...
Post by: Forthelittleones on Feb 08, 2004, 03:26:33 PM
I am in love with a man who has two ex's with a kid each.  If that is sane, then I must be!  LOL ...

Yeah, I am about as sane as they come, in all my years I have never been told that I wasn't or that I had a disorder.  Although the thought of all those tests scares me, since so much is on the line.  But, if it is meant to be it will be.

I just cant get over the fact that we might end up with custody all due to BM pushing the issue repeatedly.  It will be nice for her to have to spend all the money to see the kid AND the kids will have a chance at a decent life with a father and step mother who ENCOURAGE her to love everyone in her family.

I will keep everyone updated!!  THANK YOU!!
Title: RE: Sane - No...
Post by: Rane on Feb 09, 2004, 10:48:58 AM
Lol ...are any of us sane that marries a man w/a psyco for an ex? My dh has 2 x's only 1 has his kids and she is really not sane.

The tests we took were really lame as far as the questions. It was an MMPI test w/567 questions most of them repeats and how they determine your sanity from this one only they know!! They were laughable even, but the judge will weigh the results seriously. We are still waiting on our report but the evaluation was not as terrible as we had thought it would be.

Good luck, it seems as you do not need it though!

Title: Indigo - see update on general board. nm
Post by: Forthelittleones on Feb 17, 2004, 07:18:32 PM
Title: RE: GAL appointment
Post by: Dr. D on Feb 19, 2004, 08:01:46 AM
First of foremost, make sure you have trusted legal representation.  You are referring to a lot of legal moves here.....don't go into anything unprepared.  A GAL may have been appointed for a variety of reasons. No, a court would not typically do this on its' own.  Someone has brought something to the attention of the court.  This could have been a neighbor, school, relative, etc.

Keep the book (just in case) and the photos.  Let your attorney decide what to use.  

Work with the GAL.  Try to get him/her to hear you......!

Get the attorney moving!