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Main Forums => Moms Without Custody => Topic started by: MixedBag on Mar 11, 2005, 02:42:55 PM

Title: My EX -- fit the textbook "Jerk" today
Post by: MixedBag on Mar 11, 2005, 02:42:55 PM
From "Joint Custody with a Jerk" written by Judy Corcoran, page 182 starts a section "Don't Be Pressured into Acting Too Quickly"  

"Pressuring someone to act quickly is a highly manipulative technique.  It's an old sales trick to get you to buy before you change your mind, before you have time to comparison shop, to try other brands, or to reflect on whether you even need the item.  An ex who pressures you with deadlines is much like a sales person this way.

Don't be bullied into thinking you have to give an answer or make a decision NOW.  .......

It's rarely to your advantage to act quickly, and it's usually to your advantage to wait. ......"

EX wrote me a letter on March 8th and I got it today on March 11th.  He says "If I do not hear back from you prior to 3:00 PM on MOnday 3-14-05, I will take it that you are agreeable to (our son) attending Boy Scout Camp and the three National BMX races and will register him for these events."  Even if I put an answer in the mail today -- it wouldn't get there by Monday the 14th.  How convenient.

Oh yes, he's asked me to change my dates in previous letters.....and today he got an answer for the weekend in April.  Once again, I gave in.  The rest doesn't need to be decided now and it's his turn to give.

Hmmm....  Any racer can walk up to a National Race and register HOURS before the race starts -- it doesn't have to be done 30 days or any time in advance.  The races are mid-April, and the first two weeks in July ....  What's the hurry???

Scouts ....  Last year the deadline for camp was April 1st.  For the last three summers, I have agreed to split our 6 weeks together so that our son can attend camp (even though he didn't go at the last minute the second summer -- I STILL split the next summer), and I paid for the additional travel costs that were incurred.  He paid and shared NONE of the burden.....

Title: RE: My EX -- fit the textbook
Post by: olanna on Mar 14, 2005, 07:28:02 AM
Mine did the same kind of shit. Only thing I can say is that the kids grow out of this and eventually see just what is going on.

Looks like my own is coming back to stay.

:)