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Main Forums => Moms Without Custody => Topic started by: MyDaughterNeedsHelp on Apr 07, 2006, 07:42:13 PM

Title: AFTER DIVORCE,HUSBAND BELITTLES,INSULTS STILL
Post by: MyDaughterNeedsHelp on Apr 07, 2006, 07:42:13 PM
I would like to know if ANYONE can offer advice on a situation that is getting out of hand which involves my daughter and her divorce,and that also involves 2 wonderful children,ages 4 and 6. My daughter does not have custody(by mutual agreement due to health and personal issues at the time). Unfortunately after the divorce her health(documented severe and incapacitating illness) deterioated and she was unable to continue work,therefore the mandated child support went into arrears to a substantial amount(approx. 3000)--Life went on and her ex-husband remarried. Slowly and through much pain and perseverance my daughter regained her health and has just begun work with the intention of catching up on child support.
She divorced for reasons that included HIS emotional mis-treatment of HER. He is a controlling person who likes to belittle and insult to gain that control. My daughter has lost all self-esteem due to his behavior and I am hoping I can help her gain it back. All this I hope to soon remedy by doing something which she has NOT done yet,or even in the beginning when all this happened,and that is HIRE AN ADVOCATE,A LAWYER. Yes,this is an obvious but never-taken answer on her part!!--(and something I just recently found out)--TILL I FOUND OUT.---Though I still will not be able to do this for a few weeks,so any advice is still appreciated. This is the history,HERE are the specifics/problems we could use some help on:
Though they are divorced, the ex-husband calls to badger her,insult her,and make demands on her. Let me be specific. When he calls her,he tells her what a bad mother she is, that her parents cannot see the children because we are not good grandparents, and a constant slew of insults of the like. They are divorced,and yet he still continues the tortuous behavior towards my daughter.I know that he has no right to do this. I know my daughter is in arrears but she should not have to put up with this treatment which is in fact the major reason they divorced. I've told her to hang up on him and that she need no longer listen to such talk as he gives her,but  it has not helped. WILL IT BE POSSIBLE TO HAVE AN ORDER ISSUED THAT PROHIBITS ANY COMMUNICATION FROM HIM,EXCEPT BY A THIRD PARTY(LAWYER)?AND THAT THE VISITATION THAT MY DAUGHTER IS SUPPOSE TO GET EVERY OTHER WEEKEND BE UPHELD AND NOT USED AS A WEAPON BY HIM TO GET MONEY?ALSO THAT THE TRANSFER OF CHILDREN BE AT COURTHOUSE OR THIRD PARTY AGREED TOO BY BOTH?--What I am saying is that I believe she needs to have complete non-contact with her ex-husband so that she can begin to get her self-respect back as well as her life in order,which he seems bent on never letting happen. I AM PRAYING THAT A LAWYER WILL ADVOCATE THIS AS STRONGLY AS I BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE.---But please,any comments are welcome----similar situations or whatever----THANK YOU----SINCERELY,A SAD FATHER
Title: RE: Can you get a mediator?
Post by: olanna on Apr 08, 2006, 12:02:14 PM
Perhaps you could request a mediator to get involved or a GAL. I would tell her to refuse to answer his calls, let them roll to voice mail and have an uninvolved third party relay any answers or concerns about the children to him.  She needs to stay away from the abuse.