Hi all!
I am new here and am looking for some guidence. Without going into too much detail, I am a divorced father and my ex-wife has been holding me hostage threatning to have my child support raised if I didn't behave in the manner she wanted me to, (which I don't think I could have ever done no matter how hard I tried).
Well, she had it raised, and now I can't afford to pay the bills. The biggest problem for me here is that I am supposed to have my 3 year old daughter with me for half of the summer. However, since I work full time, I need to pay for daycare for her to be with me during that time. I just can't afford it. I talked to my attorney and he suggested that I put this expense on my credit card if I have to.
PUT IT ON MY CREDIT CARD??!!! Are you kidding me? Is this right? How is this helping anyone? What should I do?
Here's what you do. Find a part time job off the books. There I said it. I know this site doesn't like to promote this type of thing but what is the guy supposed to do.
So, when you don't have your kid work a second job as a bartender. Or start hammering nails, working in a deli . . . Put the charges on your credit card and then use the cash to pay it off. Also, is there room in your house to put in an apartment? Even a studio, rent it out (cash only). Fight man . . . but whatever you do don't let go of the time you have with your kid.
And for Gods sake did you write your letters yet? Here's a good place to start ->
http://www.senate.gov/
http://www.house.gov/
Put in your zip, then tell them how you plan to vote. Ask your friends and family to do the same. If we don't start making a real lot of noise about this, then we should start learning to like it. You know I'm starting to think we deserve this crap. No one wants to write a stinking letter. What gives? Are we afraid we can't spell "I'M NOT VOTING FOR YOU BECAUSE I'M A DAD AND YOU TOOK MY KIDS!!!"
Good advice about the cash job but don't use cash to pay credit card bills. 1) the IRS can track these payments by examining your credit card bills and ask you where you got the cash from and declare unrecorded income and 2) if the Ex gets wind of the cash job and subpoenas your bank/credit card records, the cash payments on the credit card bills will be spotted.
Your state's child support guidelines should have some sort of stipulation that when the child is in your care, you get a rebate for 1/2 your child support payment and you don't have to pay child care to your Ex if the child is in your care. Usually you have to get the rebate after the visitation.
For us DH, had to pay childcare costs to mom as part of the CS order. But on the same token, if DH needed child care he could take the kids to the place she paid for and she had to pay the tab. But if you don't live near one another that can be anything from a hassle to impossible. The credit thing that joni talked about varies by State. My State has no credit but if the CP is paid CS on the full amount of daycare, then the CP has to pay when the NCP has to use the daycare.
Im not sure if she will go for this but you can try....
Ask the ex if she can pay for the needed daycare for you daughter while she is with you for the summer. Since your daughter wont need child day at her mothers home. (just a thought ....this is what me and my ex do).
My husband pays $1041.00 a month (when I get it). He has the girls for the summer and they go to camp at his house. I sent the camp director a check each week for $110.00 for camp for the kids.
Just a thought.
If you currently pay daycare a % in your order, what happens with dh is he is responsible for xx % and bm is responsible for xx % so if dh needs to put the kids in daycare while he has them , then mom has to pay her %. Hope this makes sense.
You could try to file a mod, that reduces cs for the offset of daycare expenses but each state is different so call other attys and see what they say. I would me upset too if I was told to put it on a credit card.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
We just had our CS "modified" to practically double what it originally was. When I asked about vacations and extra time spent with us our lawyer said there was a form to fill out to get that weeks child support back. However, at this time the court, the probation office, and the lawyer can't tell me where to aquire this form from. If it does exist, and you could find it. You would be able to put the child care on a card and pay for it once you were reimbursed for the child support you paid while your child was with you. BTW, if you do locate this form, please tell me where its hiding. I'm beginning to believe its much like the tooth fairy.
Having the ex pay for the child care is nice in an ideal world, but in my situation my ex & I did the same thing. She gripes about the CS & gets it within a reasonable amount of time & still hasn't paid for all of the child care. And expects me to provide for all the things my kids need while they are at my house, which of course I do. You need to go back to court & spell it out in the custody agreement, which is exactly what I am going to have to do or else get stuck with more of her bills.