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Main Forums => Child Support Issues => Topic started by: joni on May 01, 2005, 09:24:18 AM

Title: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers.....
Post by: joni on May 01, 2005, 09:24:18 AM
This information can be found on this document

To recap, for 2004 the government says the costs for a single parent to raise one child is as follows.  This amount includes housing, food, transportation, clothing, health care, education and a miscellaneous amount.

0-2 years old -                   $5,860

3-5 years old -                    $6,640

6-8 years old -                     $7,460

9-11 years old -                    $6,930

12-14 years old -                  $7,420

15-17 -                  $8,180

Now, before you compare your number, in theory, reduce the above amount by the % of the custodial parents salary compared to yours.  For example, if both you and your Ex make the exact same amount of money per year, you would reduce the above amount by 50%.  Compare that reduced amount by the amount you pay for child support (do not include work related, court ordered child care).  This above amount also includes medical!

In our instance, we are paying DOUBLE what the government says our portion is to raise my SD.

Title: Very Interesting, great post! (NM)
Post by: MYSONSDAD on May 02, 2005, 08:25:56 AM

"Children learn what they live"
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers.....
Post by: confused75 on May 03, 2005, 02:15:05 PM
I too have done this same research and find it horrifying to think that for a child that my husband did not even know had been conceived (until one month prior to the birth) that he could be handed a bill for $175, 000 of the childs upbringing (despite the fact that the "average" cost of raising a child is specified as being $178,000). Once again I ask why are the rights of the father (and the family they choose to have) taken away as a result of a selfish woman such as the one we (and so many of you ) seem to be dealing with?????
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers.....
Post by: leftoverinmn on May 03, 2005, 04:31:51 PM
sooo, the check I got in April, for $7.77 for my 6yo, means I'm receiving $3,000 more then I should?

Title: No, you did the math wrong.
Post by: MixedBag on May 03, 2005, 05:27:31 PM
Take the amount for a "6 year old" and multiply that by your percentage of income (like if the income split was 50/50, you should provide half of that figure).

Then take what the NCP is supposed to cover and divide by 12....

Title: Just a Thought
Post by: Troubledmom on May 03, 2005, 07:54:34 PM
Just a thought, but if you calculated the support based on these figures, it would be better to calculate on the precentage of time the child is in each home rather than the actual income of the parents. Rather than basing it on the income of the parents.


Title: Hmmmm...
Post by: 4honor on May 03, 2005, 09:36:35 PM
So even with having a (reduced) deviation from guideline, we are paying the major share. BM makes about $17 a month more than DH, but for CS purposes they are ordered at 50/50 of $600 a month CS + medical insurance.

DH pays $62 a month for medical insurance on top of his $300 a month CS. BM pays $31 in medical bills a month (first $372 a year) toward SS's bills before she can come after DH for half of unpaid... and since she can't seem to keep receipts or records, she can't seem to get to $372 a year.

So $662 a month X 12 months = $7944. SS is 14. Should take $7420/yr... $3710 is DH's share and he pays $3972. That leaves $3448 for BM. DH is paying 115% of what he should be paying. But hey, we are getting closer to the end for CS. SS is not likely to make it to graduation and will turn 18 early in his senior year.

Don't think I won't have the CS modification papers on the judge's desk on November 2, 2008 if he has dropped out of high school... very likely as his mother has promised him he can when he turns 16.

Title: RE: Hmmmm...
Post by: confused75 on May 04, 2005, 03:51:05 PM
Count yourself lucky that it is only 115% the years of 6-8 we paid $54,000 in CS ....according to my math, that comes to 200% of the cost. Yes the mother was making a tidy little profit while we generated a period of three months that we could not pay our mortgage!
Title: RE: Hmmmm...
Post by: stepmomtwo1 on May 05, 2005, 11:43:32 AM
It just makes me glad that we only have four more months to support a woman who just decided to sell Avon last year and that is her first job she has had in 20 years! We work full time but too soon our money will be all ours again and dh can finally take his big hunting trip he's wanted for years. He leaves two weeks after sd turns 18.:)
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers......
Post by: BehindBlueEyes on May 15, 2005, 09:49:26 AM
Well it's nice to actually see the #s to know that I'm getting less than what I should.  According to this formula he should be paying about 4365 of the 6930 because he makes more $$ than me.  Parenting time is not split 50/50 because of the 3 hr distance between the 2 of us.  When he pays his support I should receive $2400 a year according the the amount set forth by the courts. Almost 1/2 of what this formula says he should be paying.  Gee, I feel much better.  :-\  So far for 2005 I've received $120 plus $20 towards arrears which are now at  $1890.  

Title: In 8 years.. DH has paid over $100K in CS... that is why BM
Post by: Sherry1 on May 16, 2005, 08:06:37 PM
didn't bother working... WHY?  She lived off of CS
Title: RE: POLL - Is that supposed to include child care?
Post by: hrmanager on May 18, 2005, 10:09:54 AM
I can believe it since it doesn't include child care, but childcare adds double that amount.  

In this area (NOT a major metro like Chicago or New York) 0-2 childcare is $13,000 per year alone.  We are paying $8200 for a five year old.
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers......
Post by: Becki Kadingo on May 24, 2005, 09:55:23 AM
My husband and I have been fighting the system for years now.  He pays his ex-wife 7800.00 a year to watch his daughter be unhappy and not taken care of properly.  Mom has brand new car, step-father has brand new truck and motorcycle, and her half sister gets everything she wants too while my step daughter gets nothing.  For christmas this year her half sister ( whom is 6 years old) got one of those motorcycles for children age restriction is 12 years old.  While my step daughter was supposed to get a go cart got a stero, she is 9 years old.  We have asked the courts to have the money the mother is given to be confirmed that it is being spent properly and on the child because the mom is bi polar and has a very bad spending problem but they told us that we have no reason to ask for this because it's none of our business.  I am so agervated and frustrated with the system it is unreal.  My husband was denied custody of the child because the mother quit her job and my husband works long hours.  We live in a very nice community while my step daugher lives in center city Allentown, one of the worse drug communities.  The system is not looking out for our children but for themselves so they can get more money and state grants.
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers.....
Post by: srgraumenz on Jun 14, 2005, 09:17:27 AM
How does that work for 3 kids?   You can't take the whole amt of each dollar figure for each age bracket they fall in as that is doubling up on some of the expenses(housing,utilities,etc)....
Plus i agree that it needs to be reduced by the percentage the child is in the father's care NOT by the amt of income the NCP makes as my husband's X is living off the CS.....and that is very evident when she has been made to show her monthly expenses.....
Title: I'm not a CP mom so before you get mad
Post by: catherine on Jun 14, 2005, 09:31:01 AM
I will say that those numbers are totally unrealistic.  Childcare for an infant under 2 yrs old is $175 per week in my area of FL.  That alone is $8400 and the gov's max limit is $5860 for everything for a kid that old?  No way.

Oh and I am a CP stepmom.  I just ran the numbers and according to this, PB should be paying $5036 per year, and she actually is ordered to pay $4320 per year.
Title: RE: I'm not a CP mom so before you get mad
Post by: joni on Jun 14, 2005, 05:25:23 PM

the government figures do not include childcare, the annual amounts are for  housing, food, transportation, clothing, health care, education and a miscellaneous amount.  
Title: RE: I'm not a CP mom so before you get mad
Post by: Foster_Mom on Jun 20, 2005, 09:41:57 AM
Well here is another interesting way of looking at things for everyone. My DH pays 500 per month. Mind you he has the kids 3 days shy of half time per month and 2 nights. If you look at the cost of in home health care for a sick adult that had a RN you would get a lesser figure for 2 nights and 3 days of HEALTH CARE 24 hours than what he is paying in child support. Also She does not work and lives in a 200 thousand dollar home on a golf course with a membership to that golf course and we live in a 60 thousand dollar home with both parents working full time. We also have 4 other children in our home and the state helps us with 3 of the children. Now who do you think has the better end of the deal? Is it about the money or is it jst about the preciouse time she spends with the children? O I should probably add that she goes golfing 4 times a week and leaves the children home alone with thier two new siblings of 2 and 4 years of age. I dont understand why the courts continue to let this kind of stuff happen.
Title: RE: I'm not a CP mom so before you get mad
Post by: slg on Jun 20, 2005, 04:01:32 PM
So how does this get fixed?  My husband has the same problem.  He can't even live on his own without my income, because she gets 1/3 of his income.  We live paycheck to paycheck, while she has all new carpeting, satellite, roof, siding, furniture, big screen tv. She also makes more money than him.

Funny thing is, the kids are only allowed one shower per week, because she tells them it costs too much in water for them to bathe more.

I just don't understand.

Title: RE: I'm not a CP mom so before you get mad
Post by: joni on Jun 20, 2005, 05:37:09 PM

and the sad thing is a judge would tell you that your DH's first obligation is to his first family and he should cut back on HIS standard of living to make ends meet.

and the custodial parent doesn't have to justify a thing on how they spend the child support....
Title: RE: CS is supposed to be for the child, isn't it????
Post by: stepmom70 on Jun 21, 2005, 05:50:12 PM
Hi everyone!  This is my first post on this board, but I can tell through reading that this place is filled with people just like my husband and myself!!  FINALLY...people who understand where we're coming from!!  I'll apologize for the length of this, but there's a lot of details to consider.
My husband married his ex in 2000.  She had a daughter from a previous relationship when she was 17 and never received a dime of support from the birth father.  Because my husband is a big mush, after they married he agreed to her suggestion that he adopt her daughter (she used the excuse that she wanted her to have the same last name, but she could have just had her name changed - my guess is that she wanted to make sure he would be FINANCIALLY responsible for her daughter as well)  She became pregnant again with his son immediately after they got married.  Less than a year after that, she started having sex with some contractor they hired to do work on their house.  My husband knew nothing about this, as he was working 80 hours a week (at her insistance) so she could stay home with the kids (this was her excuse)  After about a year of this, she just tells him one day that she's leaving him and moving in with the contractor and is taking the kids with her.  Her own parents wouldn't even speak to her for months after this, they were so ashamed of her behavior.  Before the divorce was even final, she practically bragged to everyone that her and the contractor were "buying property to build a new house on the water".  As a reward for his kindness towards her and her daughter, my husband is now paying over $1300/month in basic child support plus an additional $150/week in childcare because in her words "i stayed home with these kids for three years and now it's my time".  They built a big, beautiful $500K house on the water like they said they were going to, where she lives with the kids and the contractor and his son and to add insult to husband's CS payment subsidizes this house for ALL of them.  My husband's kids call the new guy "Dad", he has all the benefits of being their father because they live with him, yet he has no responsibility, financial or otherwise, for them whatsoever.  Meanwhile, we are barely surviving paycheck to paycheck....without my salary, my husband would have a whopping $300/month left over for housing for himself after he gives her her weekly "paycheck".  In addition to the $450/week she gets for CS and childcare, my husband gets an additional $82/week deducted from his paycheck for health insurance for the kids giving a grand total of $532/week!!!!!!!  We already spoke to a lawyer and he said that given the circumstances, any judge would see this as ridiculous and that she is obviously trying to have everyone else be financially responsible for her children except herself!!  He also said that although CS used to be a black and white area, the courts are now beginning to consider the father's rights and no matter what anyone may say, they DO take into consideration the new lifestyle of the CP, and also the income of his/her new spouse or significant other when reviewing this extreme upgrade in lifestyle.  Basically, she has no right to live the high-life off her ex-husband's nickel.  Oh, I should also add that she has a history of violent behavior when she doesn't get her way (she was physically abusive towards my husband throughout their relationship) and she also hits the kids on a regular basis.  She even said to me herself "some people may consider this child abuse, but I don't give a s** kids listen to me and they do what I tell them."  Sounds like a real gem, doesn't she?  My husband's problem is that he is good natured - almost TOO good natured, and she saw that from the beginning and used him until she didn't have any use for him anymore, moved on to the next guy, but still made sure my husband had to pay.  
Anyway....I just wanted to share my story because there seem to be a lot of us out there who are getting raked over the coals financially by a greedy ex who wants all the benefits of being a parent but none of the financial responsibility.  We're not giving up on this....she may think that because my husband is a softy, she'll keep getting whatever she wants from him, but she'll soon know that his marrying me is going to be the worst thing that ever happened to her because I AM NOT A PUSHOVER, and we are going to fight this until someone listens to what we have to say!!  
Thank you all for listening!!
Title: RE: CS is supposed to be for the child, isn't it????
Post by: dontunderstand on Jun 22, 2005, 11:48:04 AM
Thanks for sharing your story!  As you said it is finally nice to talk to people who truely understand what we are going through!  While our BM is not that extreme financially, she is a PSYCHO!  My DH is a softy too, funny, I say the same thing...Marrying me is the worst thing that will ever happen to her!!!  HAHAHA you know what they say about paybacks...
Title: RE: CS is supposed to be for the child, isn't it????
Post by: stepmom70 on Jun 24, 2005, 07:17:33 AM
Oh, believe me....this one is definitely a PSYCHO!!  If you ask any of my husband's friends what they think of her, that's the first word that comes out of their mouths, besides how much they would like to organize a hanging! (lol)  It just really burns me that she puts on this act like she's the worlds best mother, but in reality she's been using her kids since she had them.  She wants everyone else to be responsible for her mistakes.  She has absolutely no shame for what she did to my husband...she talks about it like it's just an everyday occurance in her world.  Yeah, she's a real piece of work.  But like you said....paybacks are a b**ch, and this particular b**ch has one HUGE payback coming her way!!!
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers......
Post by: InTheMiddle on Jun 29, 2005, 09:29:30 PM
My DH got custody of all 3 of his kids from a different state.  We had the same situation.

Can you prove the bi-polar?  If so, you can claim she is too disabled to raise your daughter.

I got the police reports about DH's X.  You can-not request reports on a person, but you can on an address.  All 55 reports were admitted in court.  Police reports are public information.

You can also go to this search engine:

Put in the state your daughter is in and the zip code.  Just follow the directions.  It will give you a list and address of sexual offenders in her neighborhood.  This can also be used in court, especially if you compare it to your search.

My search on DH's X had one living across the street, another 3 houses down, you get the picture.

Good Luck!
Title: RE: POLL - How much are you overpaying your CS by? Here's' the real numbers.....
Post by: crayon on Jul 07, 2005, 11:22:45 AM
yeah, i was gonna say, the figures seem to be geared toward one child alone.  not applicable to multi children scenario as some of the housing, medical, etc. with child 1 is carried over to child2, child3, etc.
Title: RE: I'm not a CP mom so before you get mad
Post by: crayon on Jul 14, 2005, 07:50:18 AM
ditto here.  my BF has ridiculously agreed to pay STBX $300 after taxes every week PLUS other out of pocket expenses until the end of 1/07 in a "mediation agreement" made in the heat of the moment.  at that time, he was just like "here, have everything, just get out of my life."  

so there's no way in hell he can live on his own.  we've had a few disagreements over the last year and he has suggested that "maybe it's a good idea if i just find my own apt." and i had to laugh to myself, "how are you gonna do that when you bring home like 0-70 dollars a week and have two car payments, commuting expenses, credit card bills and the entertainment/care and feeding of three kids every weekend?

plus the STBX doesn't buy clothes for the rapidly growing SKs in a timely manner.  we've (i should say I'VE) purchased new shoes for the baby, new bikes, etc. etc.

now 8 yr old is getting braces (after wearing an expensive "spacer' for the past couple years).  BF says that there's no way he's gonna pay half of that (i got a feeling he'll cave like he usually does).

STBX has her own "fun" business; a storefront catering/bakery that seems to be more closed than it is open for business.  and hell, why not, when you can kick out your hubby/breadwinner and still get the "bread" (pun intended).
Title: RE: crayon....
Post by: flewwellin on Jul 19, 2005, 02:32:57 PM
I'd say this guy has no care for you or your living sittuation.  From what you have told us it sounds like you need to ditch this guy cause he is willing to be screwed and let you be screwed in the process