Hi,
On June 3rd the court ordered my ex husband to begin making support payments directly to me. At 1st he was sending a check a week, back dating the checks by a couple of days, I didnt sweat it out over a few days late.
Then last payment was made he doubled the payment to cover 2 weeks. I have been keeping a close eye on my desk calander, crossing the dates out which suport was paid for so I dont get mixed up.
The order also ordered him to pay retroactive child suport dating back to the date I filed (mid-January 2005) He was ordered to make payment for the back suport directly to me within 30 days of being served.
There is such a long history where my ex dodges service so the court sent him service vis mail as well as to his attorney via mail.
I was told by my lawyer that because it was served via mail the courts extend the due date by 5 days to allow for mailing.
No matter how I slice up the calander he is a week past that due date...
I live in NY (if that helps)
What is my course of action?
Thanks,
Mom of 2 Girls
Why dont you see if you can get him thrown in jail. God know you should not contribute any $$$$ towards the support of your child. Mabey you can have the judge order him to give you any property he may have left. How will you ever be able to pay YOUR bills with him being 2 week behind on x spouse I mean child support.
Lets Clarify the question I asked,
since you took from it what you did and didnt get the point to my question.
The support in question isnt 2 weeks worth, its 20 WEEKs worth. And YES, FYI the bills here are VERY VERY tight.
Now that we have the Confusion you suffered from cleared up...
Its retroactive support...the kids have lived here since Christmas with hardly anything from their father.
The court ordered him to pay the back child support weeks ago and he CONTINUES, as always, to ignore court orders.
So, now, if you can provide me with some helpful information I would really like to hear it. Heck, I was the NCP for 8 yrs and he ALWAYS recieved a check from me ON time, actually I was $350.00 ahead of what I had to pay...at all times, even when I was scraping on doors seeking work....
Thanks
Now that you see I am not a dirt bag maybe you can treat me with respect. Sheezzzz
Mom of 2 Girls
Well if he paying the full support plus a little towards arrears each month???
My ex is ordered to pay $160 a month plus $100 towards his 21k in arrears does he NOPE.
If you are getting current support why fret, he may be tight on money too, lets be fair in these situations.
He may be in contempt yes, but if he is paying cs without fail and cannot afford the extra, not much you can do, the judge can find him in contempt, but what will that really do to make him pay the arrears NOTHING, mine went to jail for a week for not paying whoooo he paid for a month without fail and nothing but $30 since March.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
THANKS (For not bashing me)
When I filed for support the ex's lawer as well as my own atty. had us fill out a very detailed financial disclosure, 18 pgs long. In it we listed everything we had, short of giving DNA samples. (It wasnt fun trust me, I had to study my quicken records for days).
He recently sold a home and shows he has over 20K split up nearly equally between 2 different bank accounts. He grosses (sp?) about 120K a yr. He lives in a rental home and his over head is (according to his on document) far lower then mine. The judge already cut him a break and ordered less then the state standards act. They must have seen he had means to pay a lump sum...he showed it in his paperwork.
So, he does have the money to pay. What bothered me the most about disclosing so much about myself was that by doing so he saw that I am over $10,000.00 in debt on legal loans I am paying because of the custody battle we had. My 1st gut reaction to this revelation was ...NOW HE IS REALLY GOING TO KNOW I RAN OUT OF MONEYS TO FIGHT HIM.
His big debt is on 2 cars he is paying for...$600.00 a month, brand new cars...1 SUV and 1 convertable sports car.
I have always put these girls 1st, even when I didnt own a pair of socks that didnt have big holes in them. It isnt about me getting this money, its the kids...they deserve something, he can pay his support, he is far more able to do it them I ever was, I just did without and had a station car so I could take care of my payments for the girls.
His retro was orderded as a lump sum...its just over $6000.00, he stalled and stalled and ditched process servers left and right and dragged his feet every step of the way and the whole while I scratched my head thinking...what is he thinking? It was like comitting suicide, he made it pile up on him.
How can someone with all that money in money market accounts who drives brand new cars and makes that much money a yr cry he cant afford it?
Its the bad apples that give the good men a bad rap. I lived with the stigma of being a NC mother and the bad seeds that gave me a bad rap...I know how it feels. I have now lived both sides of the fence.
Mom of 2 Girls
Since he does not seem to have a problem with SPENDING his money.. just giving it to you.. let him spend some of that on the kids and hand over the receipts -- you let the courts know he has paid XX amount of the arrears and reqest the rest in cash.
The kids will need school clothes, shoes, and supplies, winter coats and some form of educational software. That will take a small chunk out if it. Have him hand over $100 gift cards to several restaurants and to several clothing stores. If you own a home have him get one for your local home improvement store as well. You could do $2-3000 of it that way and have him do the rest in a cashiers check.
Putting an obligor (NCP) in jail for unpaid arrears while the current support is being paid, is self-defeating... and may interfere with his job and thus the current support. The arrears will continue to mount and can still be collected even after the kids reach their majority. Maybe tell him that you will extend the time limit if he pays 25% of it now and the remainder in 25% increments over the next 3 months until it is all paid. If he fails to make the first payment by _____________ date, then you will assume he has refused your offer of additional time and will take the necessary steps to enforce the order. then make a deal of 5% )extra $300) bonus with your atty if he gets it all at once and the court costs too.
I don't bash unless I think the CP is being spitefull.
Like some men, maybe he hates to actually give you money. Maybe you can suggest he take the kids shopping for things they need, and that will help you when it comes to bill not having to buy those things.
In WA State at least, the courts won't do much IF the parent is attempting to pay CS. Not sure how your state works.
Try to think of alternate ways for him to pay you like 4Honor suggested.
:)
It is frustrating when some men do not attempt to take care of their kids, financially and emotionally, gives the real dads a bad name.
Good luck.
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
OK...I'm probably gonna get my ass chewed for this one but if I cared about that I wouldn't be responding...LOL
Anywhoo....I totally agree with you. If what you have stated is true with regards to the financial information he submitted to the court there's no way he can't pay you a lump sum. For God's sake people!! The man (allegedly) has $20K split between two bank accounts and GROSSES $120K/year! HELLO!!!!
I know money is tight for your right now, but if there's anyway you can do it I'd have my attorney put a lien or freeze on one of those bank accounts and get your childrens' money from that sorry SOB. I'd be getting my attorney to find someway to get that lump sum. $6K ain't chump change and he CLEARLY has the money to pay it all in full. He's obviously doing it out of spite towards you and not thinking of his children at all. If he acts this way, I seriously doubt approaching him about helping buy clothes, school supplies, etc. is going to be successful.
I do agree with the others that he's one of the bad apples spoiling the whole bunch. (Shouldn't that be bannanas?? Apples don't come in a bunch! LOL)
Jilly is right though,
In some (most states) you can request to put a lien on bank accounts, and certain assets. (cars, homes, licenses etc)
They tried to do that with my ex BUT he does not have a bank account, he does not have a license, he does not have a job, he does not own but the clothes on his back. (that his flavor of the month buys him along with his beer)
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**
Hi,
Thanks for all the help here. I just wanted to post an Update to my previous posting.
My ex still has not made any attempt to pay anything towards the retroactive back support. He also stopped paying his weekly support payments and now is 3 weeks behind. This past week my lawyer filed for contempt of the court order and the judge set a hearing date for next week. My ex, as in past history, ditched the process servers and my lawyer now has to go back to court.
I am very disgusted right now, and I feel like a scam artist victim. His wife answered the front door and the idiot process server could have served her but had to ask if my ex lived there...opened door #1 for the perfect out for me ex husband..."Nobody with that name lives here" was step mom's responce. I recieved a call from my lawyer that they were palying games again and I told my lawyer that my ex wouldnt get served. NO he is pretending not to live there but at the same time not comunicating with me any change in his address. How do I let him pick the kids up to visit when I have NO IDEA where he lives?
We have court this week and I am so sick over this all. What do you do with an ex who digs in their heels and wont do ANYTHING the courts tell them too?
Mom of 2 Girls
Thanks for the update and sorry to hear he's being such an a$$. Unfortunately it's illegal to kill him. *sigh*
Do you know where he works? Just imagine the harrassment he would get from the guys at work when the sheriff shows up to serve him. Not to mention the grief he'll get from his employer for bringing his personal business into work. )(
Good luck!
I'd have the process server waiting when he comes to pick up the kids. I know it doesn't sound too kosher.....and he may not take the kids after being served (he'll be PO'ed about finally getting caught), but it might end up being the only way. Either that or have him served at work.