The situation is as follows:
I have zero debt I dont owe anybody any money what so ever I own my home .
I have ZERO child support arearage.
I have had my earned paycheck garnished each and every payday for 12 years this garnishment took place dispite me having one of the two children involved.
I have NEVER EVER missed any Parenting time. I have been the CP of one of the two children for this entire time, he is now on his own and serving in Iraq!
I have a job that makes me misserable!
My 43YO X-wife and the one who gets the free money that is taken from me goes to "school" as she has for the last 5 years and as a result of her own CHOICE has an income of about $700/mo (of course not counting the $700/mo or so in free money she gets from me)
My wife supports whats I want to do!
What I want to do is make a CHOICE and stop working at my current job and do a job I want to do, at a MUCH lower income. It would mean some sacrifice when it comes to money but my mental health would be greatly improved!
Sound ideal dosent it?
As an American I should be permitted to make that choice as my X-Wife is!
However.
My Goverment says that I can do it as long as the money is there for them to take from me and give to another adult American at the same rate they do now without any reduction!
This is just not feasable so i must stay working and earning at the same level I am now or face punishment at the hands of my Goverment! IE: Fines, Driver licence suspension and of course JAIL!
I call this govermental bondage!!! What say you?
How the hell have we permitted this to happen?
End of rant!!
and have the same feelings. I would very much like to make a career change where I will have less stress and probably earn less money. Unfortunately I can't do that right now due to my CS obligation. I view it as a prison term, and I am up for parole in two years.
I am with the both of you and feeling your pain. I also have seen the same gripes as us on the Dad's Divorce forum. Lot's of other dads in the same shoes as us.
it is called a Bill of Attainderor Bill of Pain and Penalties, forbidden by the constitution of the United States. In researching thousands of cases no one has ever attemtped to try it as it is, or at least no one on record that is, yet anyways, but soon. When the goverment sets a law, then the legislature legislates it so if you do not comply they will civily and or criminaly prosecute you and take youre property it is called a bill of pain and penalties especialy when congress has made it imposiible to get a maeningfull hearing, that is a indepedant judge that does have a pecuinary enterest in every case ie.(the state plan and cooperative agreemnets) that bind the judges to find in favor the state, and or other judges ruleings that are contrary to law or not.
Your damn right it's bondage!
Although I would not leave my job because it pays too well to quit, I do not enjoy it.
Does the thought of taking a chance of doing something you love to do albeit at a lower income cross my mind? You bet it does! Could I do that, hell no because I too have child support obligations so I am stuck!
No freedom in that area. Any lowering of income would be viewed as intentional and to the detriment of the children.
The CP is free to do as she wishes though because there is no governmental agency making sure she dutifully pays her share!!!!!!!
that you have gone above and beyond in your obligations to your child, but don't forget there are some CPs (me being one) out there who are getting screwed as well because our ex's dont' want to work and continue to ignore their children and their obligations.
I applaud the many fathers who do the right thing by their children, but it's fathers like my ex who make it hard for those fathers like you.
I don't feel that I am free to do as I wish. I have worked three jobs in the past to support my child because my ex doesn't help support her. I have paid EVERY medical bill for our daughter since was born even though he has been court-orderd to pay 26%. Thank god she is a pretty healthy child!!! But...there have been emergency room visits due to accidental injuries that I REALLY could have used some help in paying!
Good luck to all of the great fathers out there! I know that it's been a struggle, but at least you can hold your head up high knowing that you took care of your children. I wonder if the CPs in your particular cases can feel the same. I doubt it.
It's sad...the Deadbeat dads/moms cause the "good" fathers/mothers mass problems and STILL get away with not supporting their children...sigh!!
I'm right there with you...as you know. We've worked and worked to support our children..meanwhile their father's get either smacks on the wrist or in my case...NO adverse penalties...grrrr This system just STINKS all around!!!
There are also fathers with physical custody (like DH) who actually paid BM CS payments even when BM barely had son with her at all. DH also paid every single out of pocket medical bill (even though BM was court ordered to pay 50% of all out of pocket expenses).
Just one year ago I convinced him to stop paying HER support, (court agreed and stopped it, drew up papers stating that BM should be paying, DH declined).
As circumstances have changed, I have finally convinced him this year that we need to file for support FROM her. (We are currently waiting to see how much we're going to be awarded).
She has not paid one penny in medical costs for years, and she'll be lucky to have son in her care for 30 days this year--PLUS DH drives the whole trip (8 hours total for drop off and pick up) to deliver son to her for 3 months (3 weekends each month) out of the year. She doesn't buy school clothes, or pay for school lunches, etc....
So yes--(physical) CP's can get royally screwed as well--sometimes by their own doing, or just because they don't want to fight for what's right and fair.
One day while I was at court for an enforcement hearing, there were several of us outside of the hearing room waiting for our turn before the haring officer. We all got talking and each one of us had a very different story. There were guys there who WERE paying their CS, yet the police were constantly arresting them because they fell behind by a very little amount. There was a guy there who had custody of his daughter. The bio-mom was a drug addict and he was fighting to keep the daughter away from her until she got some help for her addiction. The mother hadn't paid one dime in support.
We all listened to each other's stories and could all understand each other's cases. We even joked about how we should put together a show on TV talking about ALL of the different sides of the Child Support issues. Sad thing is that the courts who are supposed to do what's "in the best interest of the child" seemed to fail in all of our cases. The person who was trying to shirk the responsibilities (whether it be the CP or NCP) seemed to be the person who was getting away with it.
Good luck to you and your DH!!! AND especially DH's son!!!
This is my husband's situation as well. He is okay with his job, but...he raised one child and she has the other. He paid all insurance, 75% copays and child support because his ex chose to go back to school and work part time only as a waitress.
Now, he could not quit and pursue an education himself, because he has to pay for her lifestyle.
Also, this was used against him in court - being responsible that is. Since she didnt work much, she took the son to appts......then when they battled over custody, it was brought up that she was the caretaker as dh was too busy 'working' and she had to take child to appts......
Now, isnt that a bite in the *ss? If he took off for appts, he would have risked losing job and jailed over cs....cs that took care of her rear.....but, the financial support is not deemed as important as the occassional office visit....
I`m so glad to hear from someone else who has faced the issue of being miserable in a job just because of child support issues. I feel for anyone in that situation. I too faced that, I even got grilled in court by an attorney and a judge because I wanted to change carreers. I wanted to leave a 40,000 a year job because I hated it and because of being laid off all of the time to go into law enforcement at 25,000 a year. The courts refused to lower my child support so now I am forced to work two jobs to make ends meet. I thought this was a free country to do what you wanted within reason until I got divorced. Now I have no parental rights whatsoever. I can`t cut my childs hair, I can`t help decide what school she attends, I have no say in her medical care, I only get to see her every other weekend and one evening a week while she spends the rest of the week in daycare all due to her over bearing mother and Ohio`s court system. This I get at the amazing rate of 500 a month while her mother makes 50,000 a year and I make 25,000, what a bargain! Yes I am very angry and bitter and I constantly wish that her mother would drop out of the picture and let me have the relationship back I once had with my daughter. I have even fought her after the divorce for more time with my daughter in Ohio`s wonderful court system only to be denied. I would love to hear from anyone else who has had similar issues. There needs to be some changes made and I would love to be involved with anyone or anything that can help to make the needed changes.
I am a NCP in Ohio and I have the same experiences with the court system as you. There is not any value placed in the 'best interest of the child' and the child support calculation is unbelievable. I am planning to get laid off shortly and I want to file for a reduction. I know my ex (not even a spouse) will fight to stop the reduction (even though my income will be less than 50%). My wife makes a good living and we can afford for me not to work for a while and use unemployment to allow me to stay home and care for our 7 month old son, but we can't afford to do this with a $480/month child support obligation. We are afraid to try to lower the child support obligation when I get laid off because my ex will probably try to get my wife's income included and that is completely unfair. We have thought about trying to get custody of my daughter as my ex leaves her with a sitter all week, but my attorney wants a $15,000 retainer and does not truly believe the court will rule in our favor. The Ohio Court system is extremely unfair and we don't know what to do with the situation. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
first off. youre wifes income is completely seperate, the state can not interprate or use her figures for anything, when it involves you And youre ex,(example to understand, you wife is, was not married to youre ex, thefor there is no contract, no obligation to her or the state due fro m youre current wife.More importantly there is no federal law, or regulations,for this action, hence the states are prohibited from takeing from another spouse.Now I wont give you lagal attorney advice, but if you can afford a $15,000.00 retainer, then you always have more money to fight,( i think you can see the point there)personally if I was you I would go for the fundamental right of having you rights secured under the commmon law, giving you 50% lagal and physical custody of youre child, you have the fundamental right, now you need the administartive court of jokes to admit it and see it.