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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: bdmarket on Jun 04, 2007, 10:50:02 PM

Title: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 04, 2007, 10:50:02 PM
To make a very long story short.  My ex girlfriend spent the last 6 months planning to leave me of course without telling me.  We've had financial difficulties as I have been feverishly trying to finish my master's degree and working 3rd shit.  She wanted to move back to her home town (8) hours away, and I agreed.  Little did I know she didn't have any plans on me coming.  Her parents show up unexpectedly and just start moving her things....it just so happened that it was about the same time for the kids to go to vacation bible school as they do every summer......the plan was kids go to grandparents 1 week earlier and we stay behind for two more weeks and work....rent a truck and join them in two weeks.  

Of course I didn't know but she had already quit her job and was just planning to leave with them.  After I objected because of our previous agreement and me literally not having no time to say goodbye to my children (ages 11& 8) whom I have supported, loved, and been there for since day 1...... .....her step dad and brother go outside.....they come back in and want to give me money.

Looking back in hind site, they tried to pay me off at the last minute to stay away after I was dumbfounded to find out she was leaving with them.  Her brother wrote me a check for 3 grand but I just thought he was trying to help out.  Bottom line is that he canceled the check, they turned their phones off, and my only family is over 2000 miles away.  We aren't married but have been together for 11 years and now my world has been turned upside down.  I didn't even get to say good bye to my children and now I don't know if I'll ever see them again and it's killing me.  Stupid me heard her step dad mention something about a lawyer while he was here but I had no clue...completely blind sided.   My rights as I have read are so limited that its almost hopeless,  especially now that I have to use what little finances I do have to relocate.  If there is ANYTHING I can do or if you've been in a similar situation, please give me any advice.  I miss them so much it hurts.  I just don't understand how people can be so cruel. What hurts most is I was adopted in the 70's by people who were not nice.  I ended up emancipated by 14.  She knew that if there was 1 thing that was important to me, it was being a loving father to our kids.
Title: you're not alone.
Post by: FatherTime on Jun 04, 2007, 11:42:34 PM
You have made a good choice in posting here.  You are at one of, if not, THE BEST site for you and your children right now.  The information may not be what you like to hear, but it's honest and sincere.

It'll get better.  Cheer up.  It's [font color=red]NOT[/font] "HOPELESS" !!!

It may seem that it's too much,  to all of us at times, but somehow we make it through. That's better for us and our children.  There are always more options available, so it is never only THIS and THAT.... Don't limit your choices, don't limit yourself.  

Maybe some time grieving is in your best interests at this time.  It's ok to cry.  Spend some time on my site for awhile if you like, but don't stay there and get all depressed.  http://www.geopics.net/fathertime

Your children have a father that loves them so much it hurts.  They don't know it yet, but that's a good thing.  Stay in their lives.  You've already made the decision to be there for them.  Now go and do it, carefully.

Start here at DeltaBravo in making sure that all of your assumptions are more realistic than what they may be now.  Study the laws for the state that would/should have jurisdiction depending upon which state the children have resided in for the last six months and which state is more likely to be the state that the children will be living in for future care.  The Basics.  


Ask Questions.

Welcome.

FatherTime
Title: RE: you're not alone.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 05, 2007, 01:42:11 PM
Thank you for your kind words.  I know things will get better over time but for now it hurts pretty bad.  I've tried calling them but they just take the phone off of the ringer.  My birthday this year is on fathers day (17th).  I've been waiting for this fathers day for 7 years.. (my b-day & fathers day) and it will just break my heart to not even get to talk to them this year.

I can remember telling her that no matter what we should always make sure that we are always friends for the children's sake and ironically she agreed only to revert to unhealthy and demeaning tactics after her family got involved.  

Thank you for your resources which I will definitely take a look at.  I'm hoping at this point that I can start paying child support right away.  I know that doesn't mean that I can see them but it establishes some basic rights if I'm not mistaken.

It's so great that you good folks are here for so many of us who have to go through such a difficult time.  Life can be challenging "as is" without all the twists and curve balls.  I pray that my children won't fall into the trap of believing the lies that may be told for if they knew how much being a father means to me, they would know.  I've done enough in their lives to hopefully have a positive impact on them.

Don't worry about the crying.  Before all of this, I don't think I had cried in many many years but I've since then made up for it:)  Thanks again for responding to my post!
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: backwardsbike on Jun 05, 2007, 05:21:20 PM
I'm so sorry- you're story is heartbreaking.  I empathize, I'm working on my master's too and its hell.  Then to have your kids wisked out from under you at the same time....

I wish you all the luck in the world.  if you are plaaning to relocate to her area Ihtink you stand a great shot at at least 50- 50.  heck, in most states after 11 years wouldn't you be considered common law spouses?  And youhave a history with these kids- its not like they are infants- they know you and you've been involved in thier lives on a daily basis.  All that should matter as wella s her decpetion which I don't think would look good on her.  Only problem with that is proving it so just go for wanting  to sahre in your kids lives fully as you should.
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 05, 2007, 06:01:08 PM
Thank you for your encouragement.  Yes, concentrating right now is almost impossible.  My classes are also accelerated into 8 week courses.  If I can just focus it won't be too bad.

I don't know what I am going to do right now.  Unlike everyone else in this situation, I don't want to upset anyone or cause the children more heartache and myself more disappointment.  

I think my best bet is to take calculated steps and learn as much as I can about the process and how it works and be armed with knowledge before I plan my strategy.  Right now, it just hurts like hell.  It's devastating to wake up in the morning and not have your children there to hug and kiss as you have every day for so long.  Right now, I would do anything just to hear their voices.

Thanks again for your reply.  

Title: RE: you're not alone.
Post by: FatherTime on Jun 05, 2007, 11:41:46 PM
" I pray that my children won't fall into the trap of believing the lies that may be told for if they knew how much being a father means to me, they would know. I've done enough in their lives to hopefully have a positive impact on them."

They'll know, when they see you again.  Children adapt well, and my daughter has shown me that her love for me is just as unconditional as mine is for her.  Faith.

from next post...

"Right now, I would do anything just to hear their voices."
I missed my daughter's laugh.  

FatherTime
Title: You need to act NOW!!!..m
Post by: Giggles on Jun 06, 2007, 06:32:54 AM
My X pulled this very stunt!!  We were not married either and he thought he could just take our son and split without my knowledge, little did he know that it would backfire on him!

We were going through a rocky time so he called his family in MI and one night when I was out with my family, they swooped in, cleaned out our apartment and took off.  When I found out my son was gone, I immediately went to the court house and filed for Temporary EMERGENCY custody.  It was granted and my X had 48 hours to return our son to me.  He was stupid enough not to and I filed for parental kidnapping charges.  Once he found out there was a warrent for his arrest, he called and told me where I could find our son...I flew up there, and picked up my son.  7 months later we had the custody case and I was granted Sole custody due to him dissapearing with our son like he did...Judges are not too keen on parents doing this.

SOOO..you need to act now!!  There is a thing called "status quo" and if the kids have been gone less than a few weeks, she's upset thier status quo and you stand a good chance of getting them back.  I do recommend you get a lawyer, but you can file for the Temporary Emergency custody yourself and I would do that NOW!!
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: gemini3 on Jun 06, 2007, 09:10:24 AM
Are they biologically your children or are they hers from someone else?  If so, who and where is their biological father?

If you're their biological father, your rights are not that limited.  She has no right to move the children from their home against your wishes and then keep you from contacting them.  I would get an attorney NOW, and then file for emergency custody.  Don't wait.  If you have to stop with school for a few months while you get this straightened out it will be worth it.  The longer you let this go on without action the more it will look like you're ok with it.
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 06, 2007, 07:30:12 PM
Thank you both for your message.  I have contacted a lawyer.  My concern is finding one who will represent me, the father without bias.  I've heard so many horror stories of folks spending thousands of dollars just to find out later the lawyer wasn't truly representing them.  I don't have that money to spend.  

Yes I am the biological father since day 1.  If I can't find a lawyer in the next couple of day's, I will go file myself.  Thanks for the info.  
Title: RE: You need to act NOW!!!..m
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 06, 2007, 07:39:51 PM
I was wondering if anyone has any information about good lawyers in Missouri, st. louis area?  I've searched the yellow pages but their are tons that deal in family law?  Any advice on how to determine a good lawyer from bad or any verbiage in the ads that I should be looking for.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 07, 2007, 08:58:40 AM
Talked with an Attorney today, will give you more info as this progresses.
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 08, 2007, 11:14:09 PM
>Talked with an Attorney today, will give you more info as
>this progresses.


Ok, I talked to a couple of different attorney's today and I have a question that I hope someone might be able to answer for me. One of the attorneys said that I needed to file a petition of next of friend and another attorney said I should file a declaration of paternity.  Does anyone know the difference between the two.

I am going to file something on Monday that way I will have jurisdiction here in Missouri and then go from there.  I hope it doesn't take forever until I can see my children again.  She might fight the petition which will just prolong everything.  

I wanted to thank everyone for their support and wish me luck :)
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: gemini3 on Jun 09, 2007, 05:25:17 AM
I don't live in MO, and I'm not an atty, but from what I read you have to file a declaration of paternity either way.  On the D.O.P. you check whether you are the "next friend of child", or you are bringing action against the defendant and the minor child, and a gaurdian ad litem needs to be appointed.

It sounds like the difference between "next friend of child" and a gaurdian ad litem is a conflict between the interest of the parent and the interest of the child.

I found a copy of the petition here, if you want to read it:

http://www.courts.mo.gov/file/Form%2068-T%20Petition%20For%20Declaration%20of%20Paternity%20Custody%20&%20Support%2012-06.doc

(you'll probably have to copy and paste the link)

I also found a site that lists the MO statutes:

http://www.moga.mo.gov/STATUTES/STATUTES.HTM

Children and families are covered under title XII.  I read my state statutes, and found it very helpful to learn how the courts approach the issues I was having.

GOOD LUCK!!
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 09, 2007, 07:09:04 AM
Gemini3,

Thank you so much for the information.  I will read it ASAP.  It's kind of confusing when even lawyers have different approaches to the same situation.  I just want to file the right petition given my specific case.  I don't have any room for error at this point.  Thank you again :)
Title: RE: parenting plan--general ignorance :)
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 10, 2007, 11:03:35 AM
Hello,

My attorney gave me a parenting plan to fill out.  I have read the entire document but have a question.  For each explanation of each section am I supposed to fill in what I would like or hope to have.  This document doesn't ask questions, it makes statements but has open lines as if you are supposed to fill it out.  I'm sure each stat has a different version of this.  Sorry for the ignorance.  If anyone can pass along some advice, I would be grateful.
Title: RE: parenting plan--general ignorance :)
Post by: FLMom on Jun 10, 2007, 11:38:51 AM
If it's not too long I'd love if you'd post some of that here. Would be an interesting read and might help us to answer your questions better.

Is this your attorney's form or a state court form? Seems like the attorney may have too many clients if it's his form. A one on one meeting with him taking notes would be just as effective.

The sad truth was put to me best by our judge. He said, "You two can either sit down and work things out, or you can let me decide. And I guarantee that if I decide neither of you will like what I do." So, to better your odds, I'd shoot for the moon but settle on the clouds. If it comes down to a settlement conference, it would be better to show that you're willing to give up a few things. The hitch is, you aren't really giving them up because you overstated what you wanted in the first place.

Example:

"I want full custody."

Now, you and I both know it's not going to happen. But if that's what you ask for, you may end up with a "settlement" of 50/50 or 60/40.

Second example:

"I want 50/50."

OK, so you've left yourself no room to negotiate. Best you'll get is an extra afternoon thrown in during the week, with every other weekends.

And don't apologize, calling it ignorance. This is all a learning game. We were all new to this at one time or another. The family law system is baffling sometimes. It's a bugger to even know the right questions to ask, because scenarios come up all the time like a tornado through a trailer park. Most of the time you're just standing there stunned, wondering what the hell just happened.

Hope this helps,
FLMom
Title: I agree............
Post by: Kitty C. on Jun 10, 2007, 02:45:11 PM
I've told many before, think of this as a business negotiation, as crass as that may sound.  And it IS a negotiation.  So when you start negotiations, your first offer should NOT be what you really want, rather MORE than what you want, so that you have room for compromise.  If you don't, you will short-change not only yourself, but your child as well.  That's why FLMom said to shoot for the moon and hope you get the clouds.  Ask for it ALL (because you KNOW the other parent will want to give you nothing) and hope you can compromise somewhere in the middle with a plan that you can live with and the children will benefit the most from.
Title: RE: parenting plan--general ignorance :)
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 10, 2007, 03:11:20 PM
FLMom,

Great analogy and yes your post did help, thank you much :)  I never thought in a million years I'd be in this position dealing with this but none the less I am so I'd rather be over-prepared and educated then to walk blindly into a situation with little or no leverage.  The hard part is that my job is relocating me to Florida soon so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.  She knew this and I think she tried to plan things so that if I was that far away I wouldn't bother to go to court....boy is she wrong.  There isn't a road trip long enough or a dollar amount high enough to keep me from my kids.  I will ask for the moon but probably get the summers and every other main holiday which I will gladly take.  I was going to ask my employer to keep me here because the of circumstances but they are 9 hours away as is so it's not like I would get to see them every weekend anyway.

My parenting plan is difficult to fill out because it doesn't ask any questions.  As an example.  "1. Physical Custody and Visitation: Custody, visitation and residential time for each child with each parent shall be at such times as the parties shall agree.  In the event that the parties cannot agree Father should have custody, visitation, or residential time as set forth below in sub-paragraphs A,B,C,D, Mother having all other time as her custody, visitation or residential time. "

Then there are blank lines after this...what in the world would I put there? This format is throughout the entire document.  It's like it's already stating what will be.  Another example:

"D. Holidays and Special Days.  1. Mother shall have custody or visitation with the children on her birthday from 9am to 9pm and on Mothers day weekend each year at the times set forth in sub paragraph XX above.."

Then there are blank lines after that????  I've been looking online at examples and in almost all of them, actual questions are asked.  I guess I'll just have to ask my lawyer. You'd think I'd get a little guide or something for a $1000 retainer :)

I'm scared that once she gets served, she will either get more angry or not show up to court which will just delay my chance to see my kids.  I was hoping that I would be able to see them before the summer is over but now I'm not so sure...the court system sometimes moves at a snail like pace....I am finding out.  I called at a time when I knew they couldn't hang up on me and left a message and pleaded to allow them to call me on fathers day (which is also my b-day) but I won't get my hopes up.

Thanks for your reply FLMom, sorry for such a long post.

Title: RE: I agree............
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 10, 2007, 03:13:49 PM
You are both very persuasive as I now agree just the same :)  Thank you for your comment.
Title: RE: Fathers, please read
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 10, 2007, 05:47:21 PM
I've been doing some research to see how difficult it is for fathers to get primary custody of their children.  My research thus far does note bode well for us.  Never the less, more information will at least educate us so that we understand the process and are somewhat prepared for the road ahead.  I found a nice website that has a lot of good information on it that I thought others would perhaps like to look at.

http://www.intellectualconservative.com/how-fathers-can-win-child-custody-a-book-in-progress/

I hope it helps.
Title: RE: Fathers, please read
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 10, 2007, 06:07:00 PM
Just wanted to say that I didn't agree with everything that was said in the previous link I posted but I guess both sides are trying to play hardball in this arena.  
Title: Maybe this will help
Post by: Davy on Jun 10, 2007, 10:28:42 PM
I just recalled the St. Louis based firm (for Dad's) I've heard advertised in the Dallas area ... otherwise I know nothing about them.  .  They are in numerous states as listed on their web site.

You may want to checkout : //www.cordellcordell.com.

Have your children been taken out of state ?

Your anticipated move to FL. certainly complicates matters.  Is there any way to move to where the kids are located ?

BTW, it will probably be best to get an initial custody determination some where other than the mother's hometown jurisdiction.  
Title: RE: Maybe this will help
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 12, 2007, 03:47:45 PM
Hi,

Thanks for your message.  Yes my children are out of state BUT she will have to come here because Missouri has jurisdiction.  I will just have to fly back and forth for court dates.

My lawyer is going to ask the judge for full custody.  Aim for the stars and hope to get the moon, right? She will get served next week sometime and have 30 day's to respond.  If she doesn't, she will be in default.  Not sure what that will mean but that's what my lawyer said.

I imagine that she will show up with an attorney bought and paid for by mommy with domestic violence claims or something but I'm not worried about that because the kids know the truth but I AM worried that they will be saying certain things to the children over and over again as if to train them as to what to say or think if certain questions are asked.

I want to get insurance for the children before we even go to court but as far as I know you cannot get reduced or state insurance without the children actually living in the state correct?  For 2 children and a 1000 deductible is over $400 per month.  Does anyone have any insurance sources for affordable coverage for healthy kids?  Or could I get state insurance in her state without living there?

Thanks everybody for your support.  I hate court and I didn't really want to do this because now she will just get more angry and I will probably not be able to see or talk to my children for months which will just break my heart but what am I supposed to do.  I'm hoping the fact that I responded so quickly and the fact that I will be flying back and forth between stl and florida will show the judge how much I care.....even though it might not change the outcome.  She will probably drag this out as long as mommy will continue to pay so that the children will have been with her for many many months making it harder for any judge to go against the status quo :(

Title: RE: Maybe this will help
Post by: gemini3 on Jun 12, 2007, 05:18:43 PM
You're doing the right thing!  Don't get discouraged.  I think that's one of the hardest things my SO and I struggle with.  It's very easy to let yourself get carried away with worry and negative thoughts when you have to wait so long for anything to happen.  Especially when you hear so many stories about the courts being biased against the father.

One thing I thought of to suggest to you.  If you haven't already, make sure you're logging daily phone calls to your ex.  If you're doing it on your cell, even better because you can show the phone records easier.  This will show the court how hard you have been trying to reach your children, and she will have to answer to why she hasn't allowed you any contact with them.

You know, she probably will get mad.  I say let her.  What can she do that's worse than she's already done?  She's taken your children away from you.  If you do nothing she will keep them from you indefinitely.  And, it's not about her, it's about your kids.  My bet is that they don't even know that you've been trying to reach them, and they're wondering why you haven't and if you love them.  

You HAVE to do this for your kids.  They deserve to know the love of their father.  Keep that in the front of you mind over the next months.  I can tell you, it will drain you mentally, emotionally, and financially.  When the going gets tough, remind yourself why you're doing this.  You're doing this for your kids.
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: Isaiah on Jun 16, 2007, 11:20:24 PM
You must file a tempory restraining order. Restraining her from moving the children out of state.  You may also want to file for temporary domicile custody.  This just happened to my son, his girlfriend was moving to another state with his two kids.  We immediately went to a lawyer and filed these restraining orders.  Because the children were residents of the state you are in, you have a much better chance of doing it NOW!!!!  If yo wait more than six months then she will be able to file from the state they are now in.  Even though she has already left, it is not too late to do this.  She will have to bring the kids back to the state you are now in.

DO IT NOW!!!
Title: RE: Maybe this will help
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 17, 2007, 07:41:34 AM
Yes, you are absolutely correct.  I turned in a call log to my lawyer last week. I constantly call only to be hung up on or to a busy signal or answering machine.  She has permanently turned off her cell phone, though she still has service.  I even purchased more minutes for her cell phone so she could never say that she didn't have air-time.

My lawyer said that she probably won't get served until NEXT week and then she has 30 day's to file a response.  I will be moving to Florida this next week and plan on flying back and forth for court dates until this is settled.

As many of you know, today is fathers day AND my birthday and it breaks my heart to the core that I cannot be with my children.  I have NEVER been without my babies on father's day in 11 years.  I feel so empty as if a large part of me is missing.  I wish no one this pain that I feel.  I pray that after they come home from church that they she will feel momentary empathy and let them call me. I keep reading the sweet fathers day letter that my son wrote to me a year ago.

To all fathers out there.  If you do get a chance to be with your children today, please let them know how much you love them and squeeze them tight because some of us do not have that opportunity.

Happy Fathers Day Everyone & Thanks for All Your Support, It's about all that I have at this point and it means the world to me!
Title: RE: I miss my children very much.
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 17, 2007, 07:48:03 AM
Isaiah,

Thank you for your message.  Yes, you are correct and I originally wanted to do that but because I was relocating to another state, my lawyer and I decided that this would be the next best thing.

See she knew the situation and did this on purpose and had it planned for a VERY long time....since before March.  She was even so cold hearted to tell the children that I was going to go down there to find us a home and that they would be moving down there later yet knowing that she had NO intentions of doing this.  They both wanted to come with me and she hated that.  We all believed her and got duped big time.

Title: RE: So Much for Optimism
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 17, 2007, 09:13:48 AM
Well I tried to call and was immediately greeted with an answering machine message that stated that if it was me to not leave a message for the kids because it would not get relayed and to never call the number again.  WOW, I think my heart fell out of my chest at that point.  I did leave a message though...couldn't help it.  No it didn't help anything but at this point I'm sure it did no damage.

How can people be so cold is beyond me.  Not only would I never NOT allow my children to talk to their mother but if I was staying at home, I would not allow my parents to do such a thing either.  How disheartening :(
Title: RE: So Much for Optimism
Post by: gemini3 on Jun 17, 2007, 09:16:45 AM
You need to call and record that message.  The judge will love that one.  I'm pretty sure you can admit that, since it's a recording.  Do you have a way to record phone calls?

Don't give up.  You should have no problem getting your kids back given her behavior.  
Title: RE: So Much for Optimism
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 17, 2007, 10:03:01 AM
Yes, I did tape the phone message.  Luckily my phone has a record function on it.  I have exported to mp3 and it is on my usb disk drive.  I just couldn't believe that they would do something like that.  

I also called my attorney to let him know too.  Thanks for your message!
Title: RE: I AM PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 17, 2007, 12:31:04 PM


So they are home right now and not answering the phone.  I just received a text message from her and this is what it said?

From: xxxx

Dad please do not call us we do not wish 2 speak with u.  It has been r decision.

CAN U BELIEVE THAT.  So now she is writing mean messages to make it seem as if the children are writing them.  What on earth could be going through her mind to make her do such a thing?  

THEN.............................

I get a call from her parents house......I figure they want to argue or something and it's my sons voice whom I haven't heard in almost a month and SHE FORCED HIM TO SAY

"DAD WE DON'T WANT YOU TO CALL US ANYMORE"  and he hung up but you could tell in his voice that he wasn't saying that willingly.  This should be illegal.  How dare she do something so cruel on fathers day.  
Title: RE: I AM PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: krazyfamily_6 on Jun 17, 2007, 01:52:48 PM
I am truly truly sorry for all that you and your kids are going through.  I hope you save that text message and the phone call.  I wish I had some advice to give you but all I can say is to hang in there and don't give up!
Title: RE: I AM PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: gemini3 on Jun 17, 2007, 04:18:30 PM
You're right - it should be illegal.  I think the hardest thing, when things like this happen, is to NOT REACT.  She's been with you long enough to know exactly what buttons to push to get the reaction she's looking for.  The one she can parade in front of the court and say "See.  He really IS the big mean ogre I've been saying he is."  

DON'T REACT.  Write down everything that's happening in the most non-judgmental, unbiased way you can.  Record the calls, keep the text message, make notes in your journal.  Just don't react.

I know you're pissed.  You have every right to be.  I'm sorry that you're going through this.  I know that it's hard.  Just don't let her make you do or say anything you'll regret later.

Title: RE: I AM PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post by: bdmarket on Jun 17, 2007, 05:57:38 PM
Thank all of you for your support.....

It is VERY hard for me to sit around while this is going on.....I did a personality profile a while back and one thing it said was that I was  best described as:

CONSISTENTLY TAKING CARE OF OTHERS

I HATE being in a situation in which I can not help or protect....it is killing me. This will totally blow you guys away.

I get a call out of the blue from my 7 year old daugher Diandra this evening around 6 or so.  I am in shock and don't know quite what to expect after everything that has taken place today...so I just started to ask questions to see what's going on.  It seems that xxx DID force my son to say that he didn't want to see me because my daughter said that when he seen her on the phone with me he ran up to the bathroom and locked the door and that xxxx was on the stairs talking to him.  I told Diandra to go tell Desomond that I wanted to talk to him and that I loved him and then xxxx yelled at her to get down stairs as if she was trying to tell him why he couldn't talk to me according to her.  I think my son has been used to say those things and he's upset.  She's manipulatiung him and it is WRONG.  When I told Diandra that he would never do this unless he was forced to....she said "I KNOW" and I asked again so she would say it louder.  I recorded the whole conversation...which was about 10 minutes long and it seems that xxxx mother and step father were NOT there...my daughter said  they were at a funeral but at the same time, it seemed as though my daughter was being coached when she wasn't answering my questions right away....they could've been listening on the other line or telling her what to say....I don't know.  I feel my son is being abused mentally and I'm very concerned. Do I have any options? or do I have to wait? I never got to talk to him.  This is wrong ....they didn't ask for this and they shouldn't be going through this. I know I could give them a better life and more love without all of the drama....the judge needs to talk to my kids and find out whats been going on....I know there is protocol and procedures....but this is wrong....not on fathers day....why on fathers day?