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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: kahuna on Nov 29, 2003, 10:17:19 AM

Title: stbx trying to bait me into violating TRO
Post by: kahuna on Nov 29, 2003, 10:17:19 AM
Now that psycho has been out of jail for a week, she has tried like hell to bait me into violating my TRO. She's already come to the house (I wasn't home but my mom was), called me on my cell phone, and emailed me. She's trying to push my buttons and trick me into communicating with her so she can get me arrested for violating my TRO.
Fortunately, reading this board has alerted me to this type of BS already and I have not and will not respond. Hopefully on Monday she'll get served a TRO by me and the psycho will shut the hell up. Thanks for the warnings, guys. It's helping a lot.
     By the way, I already asked the cops if she can get in trouble for violating her own TRO and they said "no."  But they also said that make sure the judge knows.  The thought is, if she is so deathly afraid of me, why does she continue to try to contact me?.
Title: RE: stbx trying to bait me into violating TRO
Post by: kiddosmom on Nov 29, 2003, 10:23:10 AM
well if she has no basis for the 'i'm scared to death' thing then people will see her more for the idjet she is. Just do not contact her. Then you can say that you are not threatning.
pretty simple. Good Luck
Title: RE: stbx trying to bait me into violating TRO
Post by: Brent on Nov 29, 2003, 11:15:21 AM
> By the way, I already asked the cops if she can get in
> trouble for violating her own TRO and they said "no."

I believe they are wrong. She CAN get into trouble for violating her own TRO. A TRO is intended to prevent contact; by inititating contact with you she is, in effect, stating that her TRO was baseless and made in bad faith.

Make sure you're documenting all this.
Title: RE: um...one thing I disagree with....
Post by: Indigo Mom on Nov 29, 2003, 12:03:19 PM
is her not getting in trouble for violating her own TRO.

When monster played his game in the beginning, the false RO and charges, he got his balls in a wringer by violating his own.

Because I had to take the bus home after the RO hearing, the Judge asked monster to leave first, accompanied by a Sheriff, then, 5 minutes later, I was accompanied by the sheriff outside of the building.

The bus stop was across the street, so I sat there waiting.  monster came driving up, demanding I get into the car.  I said no, he started screaming and yelling.  I immediately ran back to the courthouse, almost getting whacked by another car, and talked to the clerk.  I was told to file a contempt charge on him, that the RO being his didn't matter.  He violated it.

So, I filed contempt 10 minutes after his RO was granted.  

I would file one, if I were you.

Now, don't take the bait...as you already know.  Don't have any one contact her on your behalf, and keep a DOCUMENTED record of your whereabouts EACH AND EVERY HOUR OF EACH AND EVERY DAY!  Sounds nutty, yes, but it could save your patoot should she decide to file bogus contempt charges on you.  

Also, save all emails, and get a copy of your cell record.  Unless you can't log incoming calls...not sure about your cell, but ours saves the last 10 dialed, received, and missed.  Get your mother to do a sworn statement, signed by a notary, and get to filing that contempt.  

-----The thought is, if she is so deathly afraid of me, why does she continue to try to contact me?.-----

She's not afraid of you, you know this...it's a friggin game.  monster had the RO judge SO convinced I was going to kill him, that he was in fear for his life, he was actually SHAKING in court!!!!!  However, the fact that he harrassed me RIGHT out of court was proof enough that SOB was playing a vicious game.

Good luck to you.
Title: RE: stbx trying to bait me into violating TRO
Post by: kahuna on Nov 29, 2003, 12:20:16 PM
     I hope you guys are right.  On monday I'm calling my atty to see what kind of trouble she can get in for being in contempt.  The cop that came to the house was really busy that day and I just don't think he wanted to go through the hassle of writing up a report.  If she can get put in the pokey for contempt, I'll throw a party Monday night.  
     I know that her violations will help me with her false DV charges, and also in my divorce trial but it's so much more satisfying to have her in handcuffs.
Title: RE: The pokey? Not likely.....
Post by: Indigo Mom on Nov 29, 2003, 12:55:31 PM
At least not until she violates a TRO about 65 bagillion times.

What you're likely to get is a new RO that is now called "mutual and reciprocal".  That way, when she calls, emails, comes by, you've got better "standing" to file contempt, which I STRONGLY urge you to do each and every time.

-----I know that her violations will help me with her false DV charges, and also in my divorce trial but it's so much more satisfying to have her in handcuffs.-----

I had the pleasure of the ex being cuffed and toted off to jail on a 120 day sentence.  It's nice, I must say...and I was thrilled to BITS.  I even got drunk on jager that night to celebrate.  I'm not a drinker, but man...i kept pourin back shot after shot after shot.  For me, it was the beginning of the end...so I had mucho reasono to celebrato the fact that this slimey pukepuff was in jail.

I hope you have a really good attorney for this matter.  I don't think you even need him to file contempt each time she violates it...just make sure he/she shows up for the hearings.



Title: RE: stbx trying to bait me into violating TRO
Post by: StPaulieGirl on Nov 29, 2003, 05:44:25 PM
The TRO is null and void, because SHE violated it.  Brent and Indigo Mom are right.  I've also known one or two people in that situation.  It's shot down.  She did it, not you.  A friend of mine got tricked into this many years ago.

Get a RO that covers both of you.  I'm glad you're smart enough to know the game.  

Why is she so "deathly afriaid of me"?  hahahahaa!  I was having a conversation with my friend about the antics that women play on their husbands, such as RO's, kicking the guy out of his house, etc....because they're scared.  I asked my daughter(21 yrs old), if she could see me doing that to her dad.  Of course not.  He would have brought down hell on all of us.  I might not be here typing this today.  I'm still scared of him.  

From what I've heard, RO's are a joke for the most part.  I thought about getting one after I walked into the living room and saw Mr. Wonderful standing there giving me the ten mile stare.  I thought about getting a RO, but what's the use?  He'd turn it into a game to see how many times he could violate it without getting caught.

This woman needs a psych evaluation.
Title: RE: stbx trying to bait me into violating TRO
Post by: gipsy on Nov 30, 2003, 08:59:15 PM

If She called your cell phone then You should have a record of the call on Your billing , I would keep that record , You may want to show it to the judge , If this goes all the way to trial , I have watched a couple trials,Some of the questions asked at trial are like , Did you call the police ? IS there a witness , Did you try to contact Mr XXX , If so why do you contact the alledged abuser ? I saw My atty do very similar questions at a trial He did of another guy ,this abuse crap is so over used and abused , and the restraining order crap , [I think) from watching a couple trials , the judge didn't really pay attention to it , I haven't seen a trial out of three I watched where the psycho's had much to say except HE DID IT!! then under cross examination said like well the reports in BF egypt It really exists but My dog ate the home work assignment and we don't have that document with us , I suggest You watch a couple trials , And read atty selection , Also find an atty that represents mostly men , I did and he really works for men , He said his record for winning for men is 50%,Unlike the atty's I fired that had a hopeless attitude , Also remmember that information given to a GAL And can persuade a GAL , does not fall into the category that evidence at trial does , Like show the GAL she couldn't really be afraid if she calls you , And show the cell phone bill ,remmember this is all about the kids don't let her bait you into nasty correspondence etc , You show all communication on your part as civil and with interest of the children , there will be a history of her crap let her be the one to be nasty ,
Title: call the DA
Post by: joni on Nov 30, 2003, 10:53:18 PM

pretend like you're front the state of Missouri and say SHOW ME.  I come from a family of cops so I'm acquainted with quite a few personally.  I am amazed at how many of them do not know the law.  Don't take their word for it.  Go visit with your local DA, bring your TRO and make them aware of what she's doing.  

Also don't take your attorney at his word.  Tell him SHOW ME.  My DH's first atty made so many mistakes and misrepresentations and totally screwed up his divorce and custody settlement.  We're paying thousands to get it fixed.  

Remember, you hire your atty.  Make him take action to cover your butt.  That's why you're paying him the big bucks.

OH AND....if you do file a family court motion against her, make sure you ask for your attorney fees.
Title: Up too late: formatting is your friend
Post by: StPaulieGirl on Dec 01, 2003, 12:39:03 AM
Yikes, I'm going blind!
Title: RE: RO's are nothin' but a piece of paper..........
Post by: Indigo Mom on Dec 01, 2003, 09:27:36 AM
Cept they're pretty darned handy in custody, as MANY of us have learned.  They're used to better "position" a person as CP in a custody battle, cause NO ONE is held accountable for a false RO.

In the case of a TRUE psycho...RO's only cause more grief, IMO & my experience.  True psychos do NOT like to be restrained, they take it as yet another blow to their ego, and TRUE psychos "remedy" the situation the only way they know how...with more violence.  As you know, most people who are killed by ex spouses/lovers, have that "handy" little piece of paper in their purse or pocket as they lay there dying.  

Title: RE: RO's are nothin' but a piece of paper..........
Post by: StPaulieGirl on Dec 01, 2003, 11:58:21 AM
It's true that an RO can be useful for documentation purposes.  It burns me up that filing a false RO doesn't carry any real penalties.  Why bother having laws if they're only going to be selectively enforced?

I live in the Los Angeles area.  I learned a long time ago from reading the paper, just how worthless an RO can be.  Psychotic people come in both genders.  I wonder how many men need one, but don't get one?  It's probably pretty humiliating to stand before a judge and try and explain why a 6' man needs protection from a woman who's maybe 5'1".  I think that maybe people need to start protecting themselves.  Of course that would involve loosening up the "conceal carry" laws.  We all know that guns are the root of all violence. Yeah, let's outlaw baseball bats and sharp objects!  More insanity from our elected officials, who will not camp out in our driveways and protect us./sarcasm
Title: RE: RO's are nothin' but a piece of paper..........
Post by: Brent on Dec 01, 2003, 01:42:13 PM
Cept they're pretty darned handy in custody, as MANY of us have learned. They're used to better "position" a person as CP in a custody battle, cause NO ONE is held accountable for a false RO.

Unfortunately, this is 100% true. They are the weapon of choice in custody battles, along with false allegations of sexual abuse.
Title: And how about when you actually need one?
Post by: StPaulieGirl on Dec 01, 2003, 02:15:49 PM
[p]Unfortunately, this is 100% true. They are the weapon of choice in custody battles, along with false allegations of sexual abuse.

[p]Lots of dead people are laughing at this thread.  If your witch of an ex spouse/gf/mother of your children actually accused you of sexually molesting your kids, then give me her email address.  We've got stomach flu, and I'd like to spread the joy....
Title: RE: Call your phone service provider
Post by: GAAL Daddy on Dec 04, 2003, 12:17:05 PM
This is my openion. All it takes for a woman to get a TPO /TRO is to write a statement (truth does not have to be proven)  and take it before a Judge.  The judge cannot afford not to sign it, due to the fact that it may be true.  If requested and the Judge refused to sign, then the Judge is liable for the injuries and in some cases death of the requesting party.
So a TRO / TPO is not that big of an animal.  UNLESS you don't follow the guidlines to the Tee.  Some states the penalty for violating a single guideline of the order ia a minimum of 10 years and $10,000.00.  They are serious when they say DO NOT.
If your X is trying to trip you (and they will)  Record the phone message.  Get detailed billing from your cell provider.  This will show her calls made to you.  Look in the front of your area phone book.   Most phone services have a number to call for harrasing phone calls.  The phone company can log the date, time and # where the call was made.  DO NOT SPEAK TO HER. If she comes into the same building that you are in, leave.  
 It will all look beter on you in court.