Here is the scenario.
Ex-wife threatens myself and child. Says that getting rid of child and myself is her only option left to get me out of her new life.
I take these threats, and go to file a emergency TRO, judge denies it, in less than 5 minutes. I then take these threats and try to file in the sheriffs office. They tell me its civil.
After all this has been done, I finally after 2 days get to speak to my child. She tells me that I don't want to see her anymore, when I try, I am denied visitation. She tells me its not her mommy's fault I can't see her. I did not tell her that my ex denies visitation.
1. So, what do I do? What are my options?
2. This is definitly leading into PAS.
3. Can I ask the school to intervene and request a pyschologist interview my child?
Thanks
Lissa 68(husband)
Melissa(lissa68)
Exactly how is she phrasing "Says that getting rid of child and myself is her only option left to get me out of her new life"?
Is she making threats of bodily harm, or does she want to give up custody to you? Maybe you should tell your kid that mommy is denying visitation....depending on her age. Why should you be made to look like the bad guy? Others will disagree with my last statement, but when you run out of cheeks to get slapped....
Depending on what state you live in, you could record these threats. Always have a witness with you. A witness that can stand up in court. If the judge vetoes your next RO petition, try and get another judge. Unfortunately you will have to get a lawyer, eventually. Seems to me that the authorities don't take death threats seriously until someone is dead.
Good luck....
They were threats of bodily harm, towards myself and my child.
If I told my kid that mommy wasn't letting me see her, I am doing nothing better than what she is, I am putting my daughter in the middle of this, so out of concern for my daughter, I won't do it. I can't.
And yes, basically the child has to be dead before the cops or judges will do anything.
But with the ex starting to fill my child's head with lies, I face a new problem. PAS.
Thanks, Lissa 68 (husband)
Go to the Sherriff's Department again. It's not civil, it's criminal. Be adamant and speak to a superior. Get action now. Another tip, go to a women's domestic violence group and ask how they would handle it, ONLY PRETEND THAT IT IS A WOMAN WHO IS THE VICTIM. That may help you to get some good information.
I can see why you would take the moral high road re the mother. I did it, but my kids are getting older now, and can figure things out for themselves. What is the problem with telling your girl that you couldn't see her because you weren't given the chance to exercise your visitation? Be firm, be an adult, and don't let her get away with it. But for pete's sake, do it without trashing mommy dearest. You know the drill....
I don't know what to tell you about the death threats, beyond my other statement. I can't believe she'd go that far....but we all read the papers. Ok, who is the top cop in your jurisdiction? Give us a name and an email address. With your permission, I'll repost it on another site. You and your daughter need to be protected.
I will need a more in depth statement about what' s going on before I repost the request. It will be worth it.
Do I take copies of the Codes where it states its criminal, or can I go directly to the DA and file with him/her?
thanks for your reply :)
Please email me of what you need to know. Too much info to post, you can pick and choose from what you need.
[email protected]
You file a petition in family court (forms can be obtained on line) for violation of visitation. Gather and bring ALL documentation including dates and times visitation was denied. You could also try tape recording her telling you she's denying visitation and bring that. If she's ever sent you anything in writing - bring that.
Also, you are entitled to all school records and medical records. You should contact the school your daughter attends and find out from them what's going on, yes. Schedule appts to meet with teachers, etc.
I have the petition ready to file, and am planning on Wednesday, as the courthouse is 3 hours from here and I work all night, but Wednesday morning I am off early. I just purchased a recorder for my phone. I have emails and letters and police reports documenting denials. I have contacted school and medical office, all records have been sent along with updates. So, I should be quite prepared.
What do you think of me putting in the threats as a reason to modify/ Good idea or not?
You can go directly to the DA's office. Take the copies of the state laws that apply and any supporting documentation and names and addresses of any witnesses. In some states threats of bodily harm is classified as terrorists threats, such as California. Going directly to the DA is faster than waiting for the police to act, and it may never go any further than a police report. The DA's office can act more swiftly.
There is absolutely no doubt that you should explain to the court that this woman has threaten both yourself and the child. She is unfit to have custody when exhibiting such irrational behavior. You should file for primary custody of the child to get her out of harms way. Remember, it is EXTREMELY important ABSOLUTELY IMPERATIVE that you remain very calm, cool and collected when speaking in court. Let your ex throw a fit and go into a rage but YOU MUST remain calm. The judge will see who is unfit. It would be perfect if you got some of her threats on tape . . .
it's all in the proof really.