SPARC Forums
Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: 4honor on Feb 22, 2004, 02:56:56 PM
This morning I heard this from our Pastor in his Sunday morning sermon:
If my spouse hits me the FIRST TIME I am a victim...
if I stay and it happens again, I am a VOLUNTEER.
It's painful.
That does give a person food for thought...
"Children learn what they live"
My DH has known for many years that if he ever hit me, it would be 2 times...the first...and the last.
I was a "volunteer" for years til I had the guts to finally leave....
It's basically true, but this is such a complicated subject. You have to factor in possible mental disorders and cultural issues. Many times the people involved come from abusive backrounds.
Many people stay in an abusive relationship to protect the children. Sometimes the victim just turns into a deer in the headlights through threats, manipulation, and sheer fright.
I crack up when I hear talk show hosts ask someone why they just don't leave?
But not as painful as the prior "systematic breakdown of your mind"...eh?
I can't STAND when someone says "oh, you stuck around? You're stupid and deserve it". Or, like this "pastor" said...you are a volunteer after the 1st hit.
Maybe, instead of flapping his jaws about something he clearly knows nothing about...maybe he can visit a few DV shelters (both male and female), speak to a few of those "volunteers" and THEN tell me what's up.
I'd LOVE to go one on one with this guy.....he'd walk away watching what he says out of ignorance after that, I tell you what!