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Main Forums => Chit Chat => Topic started by: catherine on Jan 23, 2008, 01:39:55 PM

Title: question - do deadbeat mothers get off easier then men?
Post by: catherine on Jan 23, 2008, 01:39:55 PM
Serious controversial question.  Do the judges take it easier on women who haven't paid??


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“In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect.” - Jimmy Carter
Title: I am curious what the responses will be.
Post by: cinb85 on Jan 23, 2008, 02:33:21 PM
I don't know any deadbeat mothers personally, so I couldn't say.

Hopefully you will get responses.

In my case, the judge is very lenient on the deadbeat dad!  The man ignores his child support for years and they do nothing to him.
I KNOW that's not the case with most dads!
Title: RE: question - do deadbeat mothers get off easier then men?
Post by: MixedBag on Jan 23, 2008, 05:39:39 PM
I have a friend NCBM who is not far behind (less than $200) and the state is coming after her with all barrells locked and loaded.

In her case, it's not the court, but DHR overstepping their authority because the state that's after her doesn't have jurisdiction, they need to go through her state and let her state do the nasty work.

And yes, she does catch up, and normally keep up, and lost a job, and fell behind.

I wish that these cases would REMOVE gender, and just apply the rules across the board.
Title: RE: I think that's one of those questions where it's easy to answer...
Post by: junglechicken on Jan 23, 2008, 10:22:08 PM
in generals.  Some people will say yes, others will say no.

Personally, I know of one custodial bm irl who isn't receiving cs and the courts seem to be going pretty easy on the father.

Probably, just like most other things, it depends on the parties, their attorneys and the judge.
Title: Guess we will find out... DH's ex isn't paying her CS...
Post by: Sherry1 on Jan 24, 2008, 11:13:41 AM
I guess we will see if we get a tax intercept from either her income tax or the tax rebate....

Title: more deadmoms don't pay then deadbeat dads
Post by: catherine on Jan 24, 2008, 02:09:42 PM
and my term "deadbeat" does indeed apply to some parents.  Not parents who fall into hard times and are loving involved parents.  

DH's BM owes $13,000 now over almost 5 years.  The State just doesn't seem to be too hard on her.  I think if it was DH, he'd be in jail by now.

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“In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect.” - Jimmy Carter
Title: RE: question - do deadbeat mothers get off easier then men?
Post by: olanna on Jan 24, 2008, 04:12:06 PM
Not in my case...not at all.  
Title: wow, freudian slip!
Post by: catherine on Jan 25, 2008, 08:50:41 AM
deadmoms. in my subject line ... hmm.  NO, I am not wishing a death threat!  lol!


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“In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect.” - Jimmy Carter
Title: I dunno about that...m
Post by: Giggles on Jan 25, 2008, 10:38:36 AM
see the problem is with the how the different states handle the issue of CS differently!  MD is supposed to be one of the toughest states when it comes to CS arrearage....could have fooled me!!!  YD's father is nearly $18K in arrears, he didn't pay one single dime in 2006, did anything happen to him?  NOPE.  In fact he didn't pay anything until July of 2007, that's when they finally did something and took his drivers license.  Now that's it's Jan 2008, he got it back but his payments have been sporatic at best and never the amount they are supposed to be.
Title: RE: question - do deadbeat mothers get off easier then men?
Post by: lucky on Jan 25, 2008, 06:29:04 PM
Well, in our case(s):
  My ex:  they went after him like crazy - he was disabled but CSE kept hounding him.  They tried to take taxes (his new wife was PO'd!) but I told them about the injured spouse (he had no taxable income himself).  They threatened to take his license, but he managed to get a court date and get child support suspended - back to the date social security deemed him disabled - never thought I'd see THAT happen but he got lucky with the judge.

  DH:  Missed one payment because he switched jobs and payroll didn't get their act together (we provided all the info needed but it didn't get in the computer for some reason) and got a letter threatening everything under the sun.  After the payment was made, I checked on-line about a month or so later and they still had the tax intercept for the full amount of the missed payment.

  DH's ex:  They "worked" with her on a payment plan that she didn't keep up with.  After a few months of missed payments, they put up a tax intercept - so pbfh didn't file her taxes (she totally missed the fact that the cs DIDN'T go away so she only hurt herself).  After about a year, they took her license - only she'd already lost her license 3 years prior for driving without insurance.  And that was about it.  She got a new job and after a few months, CSE got an anonymous tip she was working and they garnished her wages again AND let her get her license.  But they put a hold on her passport.

In our cases, yes, she got off easier than the men did.
[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]
Title: RE: well, I can certainly see why deadmoms wouldn't pay! LOL! nm
Post by: junglechicken on Jan 25, 2008, 11:25:18 PM
nm
Title: Was she behind in August....
Post by: LAK on Jan 28, 2008, 08:54:44 AM
that is when the tax intercept letters go out.  The first year my ex was in arrears, it didn't happen until after Aug. so I didn't get his taxes the following spring.  Now I get his wife's, because he works under the table.  It's the only time a year I get any CS.  I'm with you on the tax rebate too.
Title: RE: I dunno about that...m
Post by: MixedBag on Jan 29, 2008, 04:12:34 PM
my friend who is behind -- jurisidiction is MD.  She says she's about $200 behind....

Makes you wonder.
Title: RE: I dunno about that...m
Post by: wendl on Feb 22, 2008, 10:49:56 PM
I know how you feel, my ex is $21k in arrears, he has been held in contempt AT LEAST 6 times in the past year, 5 bench warrents (once in jail) and yet the prosecutor keeps giving him chances after chances.

GRRRR my sons meds are $155 a month, the cs would really help.  I hate having to ask my DH for help as he pays almost $700 a month for his kids. Luckily cs office was really good when we were under $2k in arrears when we moved (we are now current)

I just don't understand how these mem/woman get so far behind, I can understand a few thousand as life happens that we cannot control sometimes, but come on.

We need to hold these DEADBEAT parents accountable as they make the paying parents get the crap end.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**