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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 25, 2004, 02:29:58 AM

Title: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 25, 2004, 02:29:58 AM

I don't know where to start, or how to put my mixed emotions into words in a most proper way. All I can tell you is what I have been thru for the past six years.  Back in 1996, I had already been caring for my father who suffered with Alzhimer for 6 years. I was at that age where I wanted to have a family, but also realized my age was getting up there. So one day I was browsing a magzine.

A minister in El Paso was introducing Mexican girls to Christian men. At that time I felt I was not predjuice. Friends told me they make good wives. So I answered the ad. I drove to El Paso to meet this minister. I paid his fee, he introduced me to my future wife. I only wish I never picked up that magzine. To make a long story short. I let her and her family talked me into marrying her after only three months. I only wish I knew of they're intentions.  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Little did I know, it was all about money, and her wanting to have a reason for living I guess. She stayed long enough to get pregnant. Then her family came and got her. They were from mexico. They believed the child would automatically recieve a social security check. Since the drunk driver put me in that positon.

My father was 82 years old. Now he was going to be a grandfather for the first time. Though I was unsure if my child would ever be in my life. I divorced in my state hoping to keep the juridiction there. In the marriage I seen every sign possible that this young lady had been thru some type of abuse. It wasn't till almost a year later she admitted being sexually abused by her father.

She's 34 years old now, and still lives with him. I still know nothing of this family and what goes on. She violated the divorce decree, she refused to give my son my last name. She gave her fathers name to my son. She refused to return to court dates where I lived. For she knew the divorce decree asked for a mental evaluation. But the state would not extrodite her back. So I mortgage my already paid off home.                                                                                              

I went to El Paso seeking help. Little did I know what I was in for in a system run by arrogance and ignorance. Though I finally was able to get an order to see my son. She still refused to let me see him. I've been thru 2 attorneys.

The first happened to lose evidence. I took him to the State Bar. Attended the hearing, where he was supposed to attend. He never showed. I gave my story. Two weeks later I recieved a letter from the State Bar stating they found no wrong doin on his part. So I went the next six months not seeing my son. Though I continued to drive the 500 mile round trip. Sometimes hiring a nurse for my father.

The second attorney came on recommendation as being one of the best. Now here was a real arrogant man. He bragged how good he was. So I made the mistake of flopping down thousands of dollars. For what. This attrny. would tell me of a court date. So I would make the trip down to El Paso, just for him to walk over to the court house to tell me it was postponed. This happened on 7 occassions. He would never call me or even send any type of paper work.  
                                                                                                         So every time I called to find out if any court dates have been set. I only talked with his secretary. He was so arrogant, he even billed me for parking in the handicap space, even though I had a sticker. Oh! did I mention, he still billed me for showing up for a hearing, even though there was none. When he seen that the money I had given him was about to run out, he sent me the bill.

I was angry, but was helpless. For he billed me for every call I made to try in get info on court dates. Each was billed as legal conference calls. Calls usually only lasted a minute or two. But he'd bill me 12 to 15 dollars for each call. Around 40 calls over two years.  So for two years I spent around $63,000.00..He never got me the custody trial, and when I ran out of money, he dropped me like a hot rock. He messed up the court orders, which hampers me today. I could not get any one to help me to even inforce the standard visitation rights.                  

                                                                                                         So I was lucky to even see my son three times a year. Even though I drove to the visitation center just to have it documented. Since, I have lost my father, lost my home, and have lost faith. I will not walk away from my son. So I moved here to El Paso to try and get help from legal aid. I have been turned down two times in less then a year. I've tried to use the law libuary at the court house. But they make the books on forms very difficult to understand.

Now last summer I was able to have my son for a couple of weeks. I ended up taking my son to the emergency room. For the next day after I picked him up, I showered my son. In the process of dressing my son. I seen this 5 yr. old boys feet, red as lobsters, no  skin on either feet, cut and liasions on every toe and ankles. I called protected services.

It took them close to two months to respond. The case worker found it difficult to interview my son in there home. Ask to interview my son in my place. I agreed. My son came out of the room with her. The case worker told me. she wish she could help me. Saying my son seems more relaxed and happier in my home, but went on to say she couldn't help me, because in Texas it is difficult to take the child from the mother. I see my son a little bit more.

But I also see what they are doing to my son in that home. Sometimes I will pick him up, and they will have girls clothing on him, panyhose, girls peddle pushers. They boy has never had a decent hair cut. Always little bald spot around his head. I recently called childrens protective services on that matter. Also the uncle who lives in that house with my son, was just arrested for armed robbery. Again, to my amazment, there was not a quick response. Then when they did. I was just told, they didn't see any evidence of abuse. I have gone thru so many emotional breakdowns.

 My freinds tell me to walk away, he'll grow up and come looking for you. You know what I tell them, I don't know how, and I won't. But they point out I need to be concern for my daughter, who I have raised alone since birth. I know it may take from us. I know I live on very little now. In fact even less. Went to a hearing today.

She's makes $ 300.00 per week. I make make $580.00 per month, out of that I pay $ 100.00 child support, and have never missed a payment. But try to make it on $480.00. But I was ordered to pay her fees as well at the vistation center. I walked out angry, but today I felt predjuice, for the first time. Judge Juarez didn't seem to care that I'm raising another child, which I recieve no Child support for her  

                                                                                                             I have followed the law, I have never violated any of the court order. I have documents to prove my case. But no one is willing to help me in this city. I sometimes feel I'm in Mexico with no real working system. I've gone thru all the attorneys in the yellow pages, hoping I can find an attorney who will do a pro bono. I find them to show little compassion or interest. I have exhausted every avenue. I've called and have talked to so many, only to increase my growing depression.

This is just a short version of the story. Because while my dad was alive, I have the photos to prove it. At the hands of this family, my father recived very bad injuries because of this family. He was 83 years old. He did not deserve to be beaten up. Then I got the run around by the local sheriff dept, and the county attroneys office.

I could tell you things I've gone thru you wouldn't believe. I'm fighting the tears back now. I'm 54 years old, and I shouldn't have to be crying, I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I'm trying to save a little boy, and no one seems to care. Is it because I don't speak spanish, and they want to keep there own here, or are they just that ignorant here? I don't know which. But I know if I don't get my son out of that home. His mental well being will be irreversable.                          
                                                                                                         I'm tired and mentally exhausted. I have no family to turn to for help. My father was the last. I'm only hoping someone will read this, and hopefully with Gods help, someone will come forth. I have all the documents from the very begining. I don't know if I can even put my e-mail here. I go by KnightsThunder1 which I happen to be on aol. I don't have the funds to put a dot com site.

I have tried everything, yes even the lawyer referral here. I've even left messages with the aclu, with never a response. I feel helpless and hopless. As a father I should not have those feelings. But I'm dealing with a sick and conieving family.

They'll lie and decieve anyone who tries to help me. For the childrens protective services never does anything. I have never begged in my life. But now I'm on my knees begging for someone to help me save a child in a broken system here in El Paso, Texas...I've heard a few, no! more then a few  horror stoies here, with the courts and other agencies. I've seen the protective service in the news a few times, on the lack of there office to investigate properly or ignoring complaints.

Myself, I have called three differant news channels. Most started talking to me in spanish when they answered they're phones. Once I tell them I don't speak spanish, they tell me after hearing what I've been thru, tell me they have no interest in my story. I've called the El Paso times on several occassion, only to be told someone will contact me, but never do.                                    

So where do I go from here??? Is there someone who really cares about saving this child from future life of mental problems, or become a burden to the system? I have little now to do anything with. I only have a great love for my first and only son. Thats seems to keep me going, but hope seems to be fading fast. For I'm so confused right now. I want to throw in the towel and give all my energy to my daughter, but I can't even do that.

Help me please! anyone! I have lost trust with most, I'm sorry! I know there are a few caring lawyers around, just not here where I'm at. Will someone please say a prayer for my son. Thank You for taking the time to read this. Thomas B.
Title: Suggestion.........
Post by: Brent on Feb 25, 2004, 10:52:45 AM
Please break your post into paragraphs, or no one will read it. It's very difficult to read a huge chunk of text like this without any breaks or whitespace.
Title: RE: I understand your pain, your frustration, and your desire to just give up.
Post by: Indigo Mom on Feb 25, 2004, 11:08:28 AM
But, you can't.  Giving up would force your child into a new kind of Hell...."my daddy doesn't want me either".   Imagine being a little man, living the life your son is forced to live..and then thinking the only one who "did" love you has walked away.  You can't do know you can't.  You don't even have it IN you to walk from this child.  

I realize times are hard.  With your father, with your daughter, and now this.  No one is here to protect the child...that's one thing you need to understand.  No one cares.  Cept you.  Right now, you're ALL he's got...he has horrific abuse at his mothers house, he has love at yours.  Don't leave him.

Have you considered contacting the media?  When you described his little feet, I almost lost my breakfast.  I despise anyone who would harm a child.  They're just innocent little things...they've done nothing wrong.  I'm sorry he has to live this bullshit life...and I'm sorry you're forced to sit back and watch it all happen...helpless.

Child "protective" services are a JOKE!  I've called numerous times, only to be poo-poo'd away because the "incident didn't just happen".  My son sufferend extreme abuse, and if ya ask me...the system allowed it.  The system, however, won't fix it......and that bites.

Contact the local news media.  This might be your sons only chance...expose those FREAKS for what they are..and never...and I mean another magazine like that as long as you live!!!

Good luck to you, your son, your father and daughter...ya all deserve it.

Please stick around and let us know how you're doing.
Title: RE: I understand your pain, your frustration, and your desire to just give up.
Post by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 25, 2004, 01:47:30 PM
I just want to thank you Indigo mom # 2341. For your encouragement. I have called all the news channels here in El Paso. All have told me they would not be interested in doing a story on my situation. I have also contacted the local paper, " The El Paso times" on several occassions. No one ever returns my calls.  I know my emotions at this time are frail. You're right though. I don't know how to walk away. Even though I do suffer from Post Tramatic Stress sydrom. I will have these break downs. Yet! I do continue to hang in there. So Thank you Indigo Mom.
Title: RE: Suggestion.........
Post by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 25, 2004, 02:21:44 PM
Thank You Brent # 2339...........for your suggestion. I'm usually better then that. I just happened to write this during a breakdown. I have tried to edit. I corrected some spelling as well. On the edit I did separate, and created separate paragraphs. It just won't respond. So, at this time I will leave it alone till I feel better emotionally. But Thank any how Brent. I appreciate your input.
Title: RE: Suggestion.........
Post by: Brent on Feb 25, 2004, 02:26:10 PM
I went in and edited it into smaller paragraphs so people could read it a bit more easily.
Title: RE: Thank You
Post by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 25, 2004, 02:34:20 PM
I just want to Thank You Brent. I really do appreciate your help. For changing the format.
Title: RE: I understand your pain, your frustration, and your desire to just give up.
Post by: kiddosmom on Feb 25, 2004, 04:24:07 PM
I want to tell you how sorry I am for you and your family having to be in this situation. Just so you know it is not just el paso like that it is every where.

Have you tried going to the media outside of elpaso????
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: Peanutsdad on Feb 25, 2004, 06:40:15 PM
You have run smack into the same wall so many do. The wall of uncaring officialdom.

I am going to give you words that have held me in my course. I first heard these words sooo many years ago and they still to this day echo in my dreams.

Hold. The. Line.

I can still hear those words in my head,, every time I face another situation many might consider desperate, I hear those words. When I see posters such as yourself, those words ring out again.

Hold the line,, do not retreat, do not give up. To hold that line bears such a horrible cost,, as so many here can attest. To NOT continue the fight,, bears a cost even more terrible.

In courtrooms across this county, NCP are experiencing just what you are, to lesser or greater degrees.  Each fight,, a fight to hold the line. While there really are not resources of a monetary nature available to any of us, we all off the support of the experience our fights have gained us, the integrity and moral strength we all offer to one another to ensure we continue the good fight.
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: VeronicaGia on Feb 25, 2004, 06:56:31 PM
Have you tried Rep. Ron Paul?  Have you tried the TX attorney general?  Have you tried the church that set you up with this woman?  
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 25, 2004, 09:28:41 PM
Thank You Peanutsdad. I read your ordeal. I understand greatly what you went thru. For this family did the same to me in the very begining of my quest to be in my childs life.

In JUne of 1997, I drove to El Paso to meet with a realitor, so I may purchase some land to put a home on. On the way from Albuquerque to El Paso, TX I broke down in Las Cruces, New Mexico. So I was stuck there for a few hours. I had called the realitor telling him of my situation. I did have my father with me. Who was 82 years old with flew blown Alzhiemers.

I finally arrived in Vinton-West way Texas around 3:30 p.m. Its an area just outside El Paso. I met the realitor and his wife and two children. It was on a sunday. We drove around the same area where my ex lived. I just wanted to be close to my child. In the mean time, this family have must of seen my vehicle in the area. Little did I know of they're evil way of thinking.

Within a couple of hours, I had purchased a plot of land. I had all the paper work, and he had my money. I was talking with my new neighbor next door. When all of a sudden I was surrounded by sheriffs, about four units. I thought what the heckgoing on here. They all pulled guns on me, scared the living heck out of me. I quickly threw my hands in the air. They asked me if I was Mr. B. I said yes. I asked whats wrong officer. He told me to turn around with my hands in the air. Continued to say I was under arrest for threatening my ex wife. I told him that was very untrue. I told them to look in my car, in my briefcase. The papers were there to show I had just purchased this plot of land. Also to called the person from the real estate office to verify my story.

They refused too, saying thats a matter for the courts. They asked me if I knew any one who would watch my father. I said no. They said they would drop him off at the resue mission. I begged and pleaded with them to admitt him to the hospital, because he suffered from Alzhiemers. They refuse to saying they did'nt have the time. Every singole person I have come in contact with spoke spanish. So most of the time I didn't even know what they were saying. So here I go off to jail, never being arrested before. Being charged for something I know I didn't do.

So they put my father and I in the squd car. Drove into the city of El Paso. First dropping my father off at this rescue mission. Then they took me, and booked me into the county jail. So for the next 24 hours, I tried calling every bondsman possible. No one would help me, because I was from another state. I never slept one minute. All I could d0o is worry for my father. I knew he would not be all right.

I was right! The next day, a El Paso city policeman came to see me. Pulled me out of the cell. Asked if my fathers name was Mr. B., I said yes, why? He went on to explain that they had found him in the middle of the highway. He went on to say. It appeared he was beat up, and some attempted to set him on fire, starting at the bottom of his pants. I burst into tears. He continued t9o go on to say he was admitted into the general hospital here in El Paso.

Finally 42 hours later, my friends wired the money to a bondsman. I had to pay the full bond, because I lived in another state. I was let out around 5 a.m. I had to take a taxi back to my car. I drove back into the city once I picked my car up. I went to the hospital where they admitted my father. He was in the phyc. ward. The security would not let me go up the elevators to that area. Finally I seen a nurse going into the elevator. The guard had his head turned the other way talking with another person. I just ran into the elevator quickly.

Once up on the floor. I rang the buzzered. A nurse came to the door. She asked me what I needed. I was here to see my father. I took me the next four hours trying to prove he was my father. Eventually they believed me. What a freakin hassle.   Really, I have never in my whole life dealt with such an city full of ignorant and arrogant people. It was true. though, my father legs were burned. His head was pretty messed up as well from the beaten he recieved from some drunks who wanted to steal his belt buckle, because it was made from a very old silver dollar from the 1800's.

I had already been awake close to 90 hours. All I knew, is I wanted out of this freakin city and state. How I got home, I really don't know. For Jesus must have been my driver. for I don't remember the drive. Once home. I took my father to another doctor.

A few days later, I drove back to El Paso, to internal affairs for the sheriffs department. They sent me to thew county attorney, he sent me back to the sheriffs, then that office told me I had to go to the office where I was picked up. It was all freakin BS. No one wanted to take responsibility. Then I come to find out the ex had said I threaten to kill her. I was flabergasted. I have never threatens a persons life, in my life. The report said all the family memebers heard me say that on the phone.

I had no choice but to hire an attorney. I can say the case never went to court. You see I had the reciept from the garage in Las Cruces. Showing a computer read out of the time. It didn't match the same time of the accusations. Also phone records proved to be just as important. It goes to show you, that lies hurt many people. Even ones who are innocent  like my father. Trying to be a good christian. I tried to pray for this family. Yet, I'm human as well, I was angry, hurt, torn apart. For my father did not deserve what happened to him.

So here I am 6 years later, trying to deal with the system here in Texas.  You know the states motto. Being in Texas is like being in a while other country. I tell you what. With the mentallity of this state. Maybe it should be a whole other country. Texas don't deserve to be a state in this country. Or maybe it should be broken into three parts. The laws and the attitude here really sucks.

I have never felt predijuice in my life until I started dealing with a system which is run by people of non whites. Seriously! I don't like that feeling. Its not how I was raised. But when every body you speak with as an offical, and they all try to talk to you in spanish. How would you feel?

Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: Peanutsdad on Feb 25, 2004, 10:07:47 PM
LOL, Well hoss, since I'm IN texas,, as are several others here,, we can tell you from experience,, it aint just Texas.

Believe it or not, Texas is more father friendly than many of the states. Texas has a higher percent of fathers awarded primary  than many states.

You just screwed up and went directly to the asshole of Texas. Most of us know better than try to live as a caucasian near the border towns. Best to know spanish, or at least texmex, be enamoured with the hispanic way of life and for damn sure, dont cause waves.

Quite simply, since the US has no OFFICIAL language,, the predominent language of an area is primarily what you will hear.

You think dealing with spanish is bad? Try dealing with a merchant who only speaks mandarin!! ;)
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: StPaulieGirl on Feb 26, 2004, 11:39:18 AM
You have truly been through hell.  My mom passed away in September.  She had Alzheimer's and dementia.  What those monsters did to your dad made me cry.  People should have been held accountable for what happened to your father, and also to you.  The "system" talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk, if you know what I mean.  There isn't any accountablility anymore.  

I don't have any answers for you about your situation with your son.  I live in CA, and basically if you don't speak or understand at least a little Spanish, then you're at a disadvantage.  It's only going to get worse, if the "amnesty/guest worker" proposal gets passed.  Many of us share your frustrations with this issue.
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: KnightsThunder1 on Feb 26, 2004, 11:58:36 AM
Hi !
   Thank you for your concern. I do appreciate it very much. I have only lived here for one year now. But yes you are right. If they pass that law for mexicans to come here to work. Then you will see turnmoil become even worse in our country. Our government tries to make the american public believe that the jobs the mexicans take are the jobs american won't take. And that is plain bullshit. For when I was a teenager, I worked in the orchards, and fields. It was fun, and an experience for me in the summers. So they can't make me believe that americans won't work at these jobs. If they are given the chance, I'm sure many american youths would be glad to work at these jobs. I never invited these people to come here, and I don't know of any one that has. Except those who want to exploit them with cheap wages and no benifits. So they can line there pockets with more money. Corp. America has ruin this country, and the government is there pawns. I only touched on what I have been thru. If you only knew the whole story. Again, I thank you for your concern.
Title: See a post of mine on the General Issues board
Post by: StPaulieGirl on Feb 26, 2004, 01:50:11 PM
 It's called "George what the hell were you thinking". It was basically a rant about this.  I don't know what the heck is going on.  My kids compete with people who have college degrees and resumes for McJobs.  My 29 yr old cousin has been out of work and living with his mom for 2 yrs.  Thank God he doesn't have a family to support.

Our country was founded on immigration.  Okay, speaking of immigration, why are the Cubans turned back and not people from south of the border?  The Cubans are seeking asylum from a communist dictator.  Why can't we give them amnesty?  I'm for legal immigration, when we can take care of our citizens first.

This will have dire consequences for all of us.  The jobs that Americans won't do is an illusion.  Kids used to do those jobs.  They bought cars and saved for college doing those jobs. You cannot support yourself, nevermind a family on minumum wage.  Employers are shipping our living wage jobs out of the country, so what makes you think they won't gut the payscale on the remaining jobs?  A job that should pay 15 dollars an hour will go to 6.  The American worker is going to tell them to go to hell, but a guest worker will jump at it.  After all when you have 10 people living in a one bedroom apt, and they're all making 6 bucks an hour, they can afford to take that wage.  Our kids are going to be screwed.

The illegals need to go back home and address the economic problems in their own country.  There is a lot more about this issue.  Our borders have been breached by the Federales and the Mexican Army on several occasions.  
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: Peanutsdad on Feb 28, 2004, 03:57:26 PM
Actually Tom,

Most kids today dont WANT to work. THAT ethic was last generation,, today it seems most kids want the car, the clothes and all the free time, but dont want to work to get em.

As far as lettin kids work the fields as I did in my youth,, havent you heard of child labor?? man they come down HARD.
Title: RE: Dealing with ignorance in a broken legal system .
Post by: indigo_twillight on Feb 29, 2004, 09:44:09 AM
Hello There Thomas-

I am not sure what to say or even where to start either. For you see, my name is Kerriann, and my boyfriend and I have been dealing with ignorant, horrific, decieving people for the past three years.  We have only been together three years, but his ex in-laws have decided  to stop at nothing to ruin the relationship he has with his three year old daughter.  Coming from a person on the outside, and hurting as much as I do for a child who not of my flesh and blood I can only imagine how you are feeling.  I assume much like my boyfriend.  I can tell you stories that will let you know, that you are not alone.  As you I sit here on the verge of tears for not knowing what to do, who to tell, who to TRUST, and where we are going to get the next thousands of dollars to keep fighting.  If it were not for his parents I am not sure what we would be doing.  We have been through the false abuse allegations, ( in TWO different counties).  We have had( myself included) interview after interview with CPS workers who seem to think their time is so much more important then the the rest of the worlds.  My boyfriend has been chased off of jobs, recieved a bouqet of black ballons stating " Over the Hill" for fathers day.  Horrible invitations to his daughters bday parties- phone calls for his ex- mother inlaw in at all hours of the night.  Physically assaulted for his ex- father in-law. Not allowed to have his daughter- time after time after time. Even this weekend was yet another incident where his ex has used his daughter against him.  Yet as all this has been happening, his ex has broken every single court ordered decree under the sun, not agreed to sign court orders that she has already agreed upon at the court house.  She still continues to think that she is the victim in the whole ordeal.  She has even moved on and married ( after only knowing the man for 3 MONTHS)  Is this helathy for the child? Where do I stop??  I dont!! My boyfriend can not get a job thanks to them, due to the fact that his background check has "Assault against a minor"  Court case PENDING.

How long can we take this crap!  

I will tell you how long we will take this.  This child it not even mine, and yet I will fight till the day I am cold and dead.  Regardless of the fact I am not her mother.   I will fight because I am the offspring of a early parent divorce where my mother hated my father, and I know what it is to grow up without a father around.  But now, NOW my mother has no control over me.  I love her to death, and will always be there for her, but yet I am a daddy's girl-  and SO ARE my oldest brothers.  It just took time and patience from my father.  We even live here in Dallas, and my father who is re-married in California, with his new family, who we love to death. But my mom, will always be her.  Its only a matter of time before these children are old enough to turn against the the mentally challenged hand that feeds them!  I have purchase many things that I keep close to me at all times to help me make it through these trials.  I wear a ring on my right thumb that is engraved with "Hope" and for my left, "True Love Waits."  For you see these are two things that I have for this little girl.  I will not give up on her, as the same for you. I know that you will not give up on your son.  We are the lilght at the end of their tunnels.  For you seen when they finally are old enough to realize the truth they need a place to run to!  Mark my words. it might be today, tommorrow, or next year, but it will be.  I promise you that.  I may not know you, but I know your pain, and that makes us all the closer.  I am not a really religious person, but I do consider myself to be a spiritual person, and I will include you in my prayers.   For I know that your son needs you, as does our Carlee!  Thank you for reading this since I am new to this, but tired of not knowing what to do.

You are in my prayers