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Main Forums => Second Families => Topic started by: ksmarks on Jun 19, 2009, 08:28:05 PM

Title: comparing kids...comparing outcomes.... Is that allowed?
Post by: ksmarks on Jun 19, 2009, 08:28:05 PM
Again, I am on a rant, or should better say another vent session....
Husband and I each have children, yet none together... we share a Yorkie  (  probably the best we could do together with our differant veiws.
My kids are soon to be 27, 23, & 21, youngest two still in college: PH.d program & Honors undergrad.  Oldest graduated from college (BA+some grad work) and has been gainfully employed and independent for two years.
His are almost 22, and just turned 20.   Youngest is is now a junior in college- to her credit she is a very hard worker and is on track to graduate with her class, with Honors, and oldest is now completeing his senior year at yet another junior college, Golf school, (he did three years at a two year school and finished with a 2.0 gpa and no degree)
Husband and I,  share few common beliefs regarding parenting, as such we have fought over the years over styles and techniques, not to mention outcomes.
Has any one else experienced this?
How do you deal with it after the kids are all of "age"?
I feel like I am not able to talk about my children's progress or accomplishments, due to his child's lack thereof.
When my kids were growing up we posted all report cards on the refirgerator, mine as well as theirs, however, his kids were not posted because there grades were not as high, and it might make them feel bad.
I know that we are not suppossed to say we love our own children more, but I would be lieing if I said otherwise, however, that does not mean that I do not love my step children.
Does anyone else go through this?
Thank you for reading, and thank you more for responding!
Title: Re: comparing kids...comparing outcomes.... Is that allowed?
Post by: MixedBag on Jun 20, 2009, 05:45:00 AM
Go get yourself the book called "Stepmonster" by Wednesday Martin.
It talks about the myths and realities concerning stepparenting from the stepmother's point of view.
Not quite finished with it yet, but it covered this subject in detail.
Title: Re: comparing kids...comparing outcomes.... Is that allowed?
Post by: ksmarks on Jun 20, 2009, 09:01:14 AM
I am on my way to Border's!
I had to errands to run this morning in the city that Step daughter lieves with her mom, so I called a left her a  message on her cell phone inviting her to go shopping for her father on my dime & time.  I then went by her house and rang the door bell, no answer.
about ten minutes later she calls me back, I ask her if she would like to go shopping with me.   Her response  "No, I am just going to get him something at school."   School is in late August.....
I want to scream, yet don't want husband to know anything about it!