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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: lionzheart on Jun 25, 2009, 01:12:33 PM

Title: Please help me keep me son!
Post by: lionzheart on Jun 25, 2009, 01:12:33 PM
I have been going through visitation problems with my son’s mother ever since I can remember. After moving state to state she finally married a military man and now the moving has increased. Currently I reside in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:State w:st="on">Maryland</st1:State> and she resides in <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Mississippi</st1:place></st1:State>. The last time I saw, got to keep and spend time with my son was after hurricane Katrina in which she asked would I keep him until they got back on their feet which of course I agreed to. These days she comes in town unannounced with my son and I have to hear through someone else they are here. Currently she sent our son to stay with my mother for the summer. My mother having full rights while he is here arranged so I can spend weekends with him, which I am very grateful. He has grown so much and it’s like I have to get to know him all over again but the love still remains the same. The major problem now is upon his return he will be moving overseas to <st1:place w:st="on">GUAM</st1:place> in August! He mentioned this to me over our phone conversations but I had no idea it would be this soon. Also she has yet to personally tell me she is planning to move. I would not approve signing a visa for her due t non visitation so I don’t know how they pulled this off. He wants to live with me who he has stated to me a few years ago also but I could not do so at the time which really upset her and created more drama. My son is now 12 years old and could tell the judge this face to face if needed. Please help me get something going here because I already missed so much of his life due to ignorance. He is my only child so I don’t want to see him go! I live with my fiancé and my stepson in a great neighborhood with the best educational system in <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Maryland</st1:place></st1:State>. My way of raising him does not consist of beating him with a count reflecting his age, 11 years, 11 lashes as he told me, and I do not sit around and play video games like a kid myself unlike his stepfather. My sons character, demine and behavior has changed dramatically and not in a positive manner. I want Sole legal/physical custody.
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His mother is currently expecting a newborn baby after losing her baby a year ago so I am hoping this would dull some of her ignorance and fear of being alone since her husband did not.

Title: Re: Please help me keep me son!
Post by: ocean on Jun 25, 2009, 03:07:45 PM
Why dont you have your son for the summer? Why does your mother have him? What does you last court order say about type of custody (joint, sole ?) and what does it say for your parenting time?

You can file a temporary order restraining the child to stay in the United States until a hearing. This can be done in the family court where your last set of papers came from. You can do it yourself. Call the court and find out where you need to go to fill out paperwork and get before a judge. Some states charge a fee to file, my state does not charge any fee.
Title: Re: Please help me keep me son!
Post by: lionzheart on Jun 26, 2009, 07:11:56 AM
No papers have been filed because we were never married. We do however have a case for child support which she filed only when she realized I no longer wanted a relationship with her but only to take care of my son. I am current on child support. It has been hard to find a lawyer to take my case that does not want to charge me a house note. Seems to be a run around given with men. My mother has him because somehow they formed this strange bond and now everyone thinks they are his father as well. Me and my mother have not spoken in years until now (which I am doing only to see my son) because of a situation in 2007 where she refused to let me take him on Christmas weekend and I even had to call the police but although they were understanding they could not do anything because again he was in her custody her for the holidays. I feel the pressure on my shoulders at this point like I am alone because everyone I speak to gives little or no help and want to charge so much money.
Title: Re: Please help me keep me son!
Post by: ocean on Jun 26, 2009, 11:23:51 AM
Does your mother have visitation granted through the courts?
Title: OK. Answer these questions for better advice
Post by: 4honor on Jun 26, 2009, 04:01:17 PM
Is there a court order?
What State is it in?
When was it last changed/ordered? What does it say about custody, parenting time with the NCP (you) and move aways? (be specific)
What day is BM suposed to move? (how much time do you have to fight this move?
When you realized BM's situation was interfering with your time with son, what steps did you take to FIND him, and then SEE him? Can you document it? (police reports, cost for web searches, Private investigator, etc. , emails to BM, whatever).
This will help us understand where you are .. and then some tactical suggestions can be made for how to get where you want to go.
Title: Re: Please help me keep me son!
Post by: lionzheart on Jun 29, 2009, 08:15:25 AM
There is no court order.

I am located in Maryland but she now resides in Mississippi, and per initial consultations from lawyers, I will have to get a lawyer in her state for the best results.

My son goes back home around August 8th so I have very little time.

Happy to say my sons other grandmother on his mothers side was busy this weekend so I got to spend more time with him and we had a blast. I will also have him on the Independence Day holiday.

I only have a police report from a time a few years back when my mother had him for Christmas and would not let me get him on Christmas eve to spend the night due to my BM's request. I called the police and we went to her condo to resolve the matter in which the police informed me that since he was in my mothers custody it was nothing that could be done. At this time my mother also threatened to send him back on a plane if they were to try to let me keep him overnight, crazy and brainwashed at the time.

My son is not a pawn for any adults foolish games. I want to protect him but I feel alone and helpless at this point, like me against the world just to spend time at the least with my own son. The irony is that my stepsons father could care less if he see's his son or not so I show him the love he does not get but it seems like these are the fathers that GET AWAY every time.
Title: Two more questions
Post by: 4honor on Jun 29, 2009, 12:57:51 PM
Were you and BM ever married?
Are you corout ordered to pay support?
Some states treat kids of a prior marriage one way and kids of unmarried parents another.
Some CS orders have some obligations spelled out in them (like for travel to and from visitation).
One thing I can suggest for your "war chest" (the records you need to get together to go into court): take pictures of you and your child together having a good time. This trip is important. Take one or two late in July too. showing the newspaper with the date. This will prove in court that you had recent contact with the child.
GO find all your emails, letters and phone bills trying to contact BM and see your child. Put these things together and organize them in a meaninful way.
The lawyer is right, you are going to have to file in the county she lives in. Start putting money aside to get this into court. You will likely have to file a motion to restrain her from moving the child out of the States.
You don't have much time. Get to work.