SPARC Forums

Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: DadsCrushed on Jun 26, 2009, 02:50:56 PM

Title: Redflags
Post by: DadsCrushed on Jun 26, 2009, 02:50:56 PM
My ex continues to sleep with our two daughters under the age of 7. Recently, it came back in her Forensic Evaluation that she was possibly molested as a child, mentally ill (bi-polar, OCD, histrionic, anxieity NOS, narcisstic, suicidal), enjoys lesbian pornography, and the grandfather stated that the children have given him open mouth kisses.

Am I losing my mind but this sounds like she might be sexually involved with the girls now. Thoughts? Does anybody know the statistics on mother-daughter incest?
Title: Re: Redflags
Post by: Rave on Jun 26, 2009, 03:55:00 PM
I would wonder (hope) that perhaps the mother is projecting her fears onto her two daughters, given her own experiences, and feels like she's guarding them by keeping them under her watch at night.  Does sound scary though.  Best to you.
Title: Re: Redflags
Post by: ksmarks on Jun 26, 2009, 07:39:04 PM
I too, would first think comfort and safety, prior to thinking of the unthinkable..... my ex-husband and I were of the "family bed" mindset and such once the kids woke up they joined us in bed, and it really is not that uncommon for kids to sleep with their parents, seperated or otherwise...
Best always, and I will keep you and your girls in my thoughts and prayers...
Title: Re: Redflags
Post by: MomofTwo on Jun 26, 2009, 07:44:13 PM
It is very common for children (especially that young) to sleep in a parent's bed.
I agree with the other posters, it sounds more like a protective reaction and not what you are thinking.
Just so you know, that is not grounds for a custody change.
Title: Re: Redflags
Post by: gemini3 on Jun 28, 2009, 05:56:04 AM
I agree that it's common for young children to occaisionally sleep with their parents, and there are some schools of thought that encourage it.  I personally think children should have their own beds, but my step-kids have slept in our bed on occaision - for example: after a nightmare, if one is sick, or one is just feeling really sad and clingy.  It's comforting to them.
Open mouth kissing is also common in little children.  They don't know how to kiss instinctively - it's a learned behavior.  They will grow out of that.
The things you wrote about are not symptoms of sexual abuse.  Just because someone was (possibly) molested as a child, has a mental disorder, or is a lesbian does not mean they are also a pedophile.  I would assume that pedophilia would have shown up on the test along with all of the other things is listed.
If you are really concerned there is a lot of information on the internet about signs and symptoms of sexual abuse.
Title: Re: Redflags
Post by: DadsCrushed on Jun 29, 2009, 04:52:51 AM