SPARC Forums

First a little background...I took my ex fiance to court on June 25 because she would not allow me to see our 19 month old daughter.  Despite the fact the my ex and her lawyer wanted me to have one supervised visitation a week for several months, the judge ruled that I have two unsupervised visits, two hours each, twice a week for thirty days.  After the thirty days, we were to meet back and schedule my overnight visitations.  Thirty days passed and I heard nothing of a court date to schedule overnight visits.  I contacted my attorney and he contacted my ex's attorney saying that we felt it was time to schedule overnight visits and we would like to do it without invoking the court if possible.  After several days and hearing nothing from my ex's attorney, my attorney started the process of scheduling another court date.  After the court date was set, we received a new visitation proposal from my ex's attorney.  It had my current twice a week visits increasing by two hours each week and then beginning overnight visits in mid September.  My lawyer suggested that I agree to the proposal as an act of good faith and to avoid any further legal expense.  Being that it was already twenty days past when I thought I would start overnight visits, I reluctantly agreed.  Now I have the task of making a proposed overnight visit schedule to present to my attorney.  The judge did not lay out any specifics about visitation.  He only said that my ex and I should be mature enough to handle scheduling visits without anyone else having to get involved and that since I didn't work a normal, five day work week, visits would be scheduled around my work schedule.  I have made a schedule that has me having my daughter about one third of every month and my ex and I alternating holidays.  I don't feel that my ex will agree to it.  She absolutley hates the fact that I get any time with our daughter.  After we split, she wouldn't even tell me how she was doing.  She said that I didn't get the privilege of knowing.  She has being going along with the current visit schedule very reluctantly and has been anything but easy to deal with.  Am I proposing too much time or maybe not enough?  I don't feel that ten or eleven days a month is asking too much.  I believe a child needs substantial time with both parents.  If my ex doesn't agree to my proposal, should I just go back to court and take my chances with the judge?  Also, my ex's sister is due to give birth at the end of the month.  My ex said that she and our daughter will be going to her when she delivers and that it may affect two of my scheduled visits.  Does my time with my daughter come second to things like this?

I am sure you feel the time you are proposing to your ex is not enough time with your daughter and I certainly would agree with you.  If this works with your work schedule though, I would definitely go ahead and present it to her through her attorney and see what happens.  She might surprise you and agree.  I know, that is probably wishful thinking on my part but I try to look at the brighter side of things.  The worst thing that will happen is she won't and you will have to go to court. 

What state do you reside in?  The problem you have right now is you don't have anything permanent yet, so she may end up getting away with going to her sister's and interfering with your visiting schedule.  Understand, I do not feel she is doing the right thing.  Your daughter needs to spend time with both her parents.   I do know, once you have a final CO filed, and she did not follow it, you would have grounds for contempt. 

Hope this helps.  Good luck!