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Main Forums => Custody Issues => Topic started by: apk_in_fla on Oct 15, 2009, 04:26:30 PM

Title: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: apk_in_fla on Oct 15, 2009, 04:26:30 PM
I live in Florida and I have shared parental responsibility. My ex withdrew our then 6 month old daughter from her original daycare and enrolled her in a daycare an hour away where she lives with her boyfriend. I'm in the process of taking her to court and fighting for ultimate education authority. Does anyone have any experience going through this same situation, and, if so, did you have any success? Any advice/info would be unbelievably appreciated.
Title: Re: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: mdegol on Oct 15, 2009, 04:48:05 PM
My lawyer told me that daycare does not count as education. I think you would be hard pressed to argue that for a 6 month old in any case. It will also be hard to argue that you have the sole right to make educational decisions, if you have a joint situation right now. Maybe a little more detail would be helpful. Does your CO specify daycare at all? There is more of a argument in terms of travel distance for you if you do pickup or dropoff from the daycare, if there is a hardship. Also, did she move an hour away without telling you? Does your CO specify anything about moving? Do you have parenting time during week, and need to pickup or dropoff as well? In other words, what about the change in daycare is bad? Only distance, or is it much worse in terms of care, unlicensed ect?
Title: Re: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: apk_in_fla on Oct 15, 2009, 05:04:36 PM
Our CO considers daycare as education. I'm taking her to court for UEA, my lawyer is requesting the judget to order back to her original daycare and give me authority to make the final decision in the future. We have joint custody, I have her every MT and every other weekend and I drop her off and pick her up from daycare.

Now that she moved her, I have to spend 4 hours a day and $300 a month driving to and from daycare. Her mother never told me she was going to move her, just left me a voicemail one day saying "she's been withdrawn from the daycare and starts her new daycare next week", this was 3 months after moving an hour away.

My guess is she got sick of driving and moved her out of convenience. Why do I get punished and forced to drive when she made the decision to move. Anyway, my biggest concern is emergency situations. Before, her daycare was close to not only me but her grandmother as well. Both of us were about 5 minutes from the daycare, now, the closest person is 30-40 minutes from the daycare.

If there is ever an emergency where she needed to be picked up she has a 30-40 minute wait. Then, it's 1.25 hours from the daycare to her doctor. Who in their right mind wants their child that far from an emergency contact and her doctor. You spend 8 hours of your day at work while your child is at daycare, the daycare should be close to work, not home.

God knows it wasn't close to my home but was close to my work. I would get calls from the daycare that she was out of something, or needed something, I was 5 minutes away, now, the closest person is 30-40, blows my mind.

I belive she about 10 miles outside the limit but my lawyer says the judge won't do anything about that. I hate to vent but she just makes decisions and I have no opportunity to voice my opinion, she just does it then I have to deal until the courts are ready to hear it.
Title: Re: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: mdegol on Oct 15, 2009, 05:29:21 PM
Why do people do things like that? Sounds like you have plenty of good reasons to ask for it to be changed back. Especially since you pickup and dropoff twice each week. Strange though, why did mom pick a daycare 30-40 minutes from herself (you say no one is nearby)? It is really bad form to make decisions unilaterally without consulting another parent that will be impacted by the decision. I guess my only advice is to try to compromise with mother (I know, I know), maybe a daycare halfway, if you want to avoid court costs and the hard feelings that come with it. And I would do between your job locations, especially if it she drives toward you for her job. I suppose you already tried. I'll bet if she approached you in a reasonable way, you two might have been able to come up with a solution.
Title: Re: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: apk_in_fla on Oct 16, 2009, 05:16:38 AM
You hit the nail, if she would have said, "listen, I can't drive this anymore, can we move her somewhere in the middle", I would have done it no problem. The fact she did it behind my back is just plain wrong. I didn't even get the opportunity to say, ya, sure, we can do that. I tried to reason with her and get her to move the daycare in the middle and her response was, "it's my right to move her and I'll do what I want". My lawyer says the judge will be pissed, she outright disregarded the order the judge put in place and she's going to have to explain herself. I don't see, "it's my right to move her and I'll do what I want" is much of a defense. I should have clarified, the daycare is only 10 minutes from her house but it's 30-40 minutes from her work, and she's the closest. it's convenient for her to have her close to her house and I tried to tell her, she's at daycare 8 hours a day while we're working. She's unbelievable.
Title: Re: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: MixedBag on Oct 16, 2009, 05:46:19 AM
sounds to me like you also have the subject of trasnportation to discuss and possibly a "move away" even though the distance isn't tremendous, it is if you almost have a 50/50 situation.
Title: Re: Ultimate Educational Authority
Post by: apk_in_fla on Oct 16, 2009, 06:08:05 AM
yep, 50/50. I drive 4 hours a day now on the days I have her.