Any advice on what to expect from a custodial evaluator? I have looked up alot of info on this site, by anyone having been through it would be of great help. I have been having temp. parenting time for appx 7 months now. They (BM, and her parents) have almost unlimited funds to work with. It would seem they simply want to hurt me for filing for a divorce. Their only angle is the children, as I can't print money. They are seeking no visitation, or one weekend per month supervised. I currently see them every other weekend and every tues night to wed night. They have filed a false report with cps and were warned not to do it again in report. I am worried about the latest motion that is signed by a judge. It is a motion from her atty that states a particular evaluator be used, that respondent pay the full cost of the evaluation, and that there not be allowed any objection to any heresay evidence. This last part worries me as BM has lied about so many things to date. Any advice on what to be prepared for would be helpful to a father who loves and cares for his children as much as any dad could. I love my children very much, and the thought of money being able to take our time spent together away makes me sick to my stomach.
Unfortunately....welcome to the Family Court where he with the most $$$ wins...Many of us have learned that "family court" is no place for families and rarely do they ever uphold "the best interest of the child".
Do you have an atty?
It sounds like they want their own evaluator that of course would not be biased in the least bit...right? Oh please. I'm no atty but I think your atty (should you have one) should object to this evaluator and request a court appointed one? If that is even possible?
Can you look up the evaluator? Make sure there is not an outside connection to your ex...
Never heard it worded like that...but that also means YOU get to say what you need to about what is going on too. Do not bash ex, just facts. Have a binder ready with copies you can hand over as the meeting goes on.
Since you have had unsupervised and it is going fine, what is ex saying that warrants supervised visits?
Next few visits, take pictures with time stamped of kids having fun with you. Can be reading a book, making dinner, regular stuff. If you have video on your phone or camera, take a video of you guys playing a game or outside kicking a ball around. Just regular stuff. If you have been taking pictures all this time, make the kids a picture book (they can even help). This will remind them of the fun times you have had with them in the past. (see if family has pics for you..). You can have these books ready to if needed.
Be honest with evaluator. Just say "I want to be involved with my kids and my ex and her new husband have made it difficult. I am willing to co-parent and put the past behind us. I am involved in their school, talk to their teachers, go to their activities, and try to be an active father. In the past I have had false reports to CPS. I am not sure what you are looking for...I brought my binder with me and the kids picture books that they made of things we have done together."
Just feel the person out.... we dealt with a law guardian (which you may want to consider...a person just for the kids...). She interviewed us and after she was very open about how the mother portrayed us and thanked us for taking the time to talk to her as now she has a more open mind about the whole thing. She also interview the kids by themselves. This person may want to see the kids when you have them and see how a regular day goes in your care.
I don't know if BM parents know her or not. I have tried looking up her name (would like to post it here, is that against rules?). Her reasoning for supervised is DV case pending. I was previously Majestic Stone here before someone wiped out many enteries. Mine did not return, but simple rundown is BM took kids to meth house. I found out (not from her) that she was doing the stuff. She lied for weeks about things, until I found her stash. Then she had to come down. She became abusive towards my 3 yr old girl (yelling and pushing). We ended up getting in an arguement, and she hit me hard in the face. I did not hit her back (thank God she didnt think to claim that when police took report). I called her parents and told them everything. They came over and started argueing with me. Her mom called the police and when they arrived they took statements from her and her parents, not from me. They did take a picture of my face and stated report would be submitted for review. I incurred 6000 dollars in hospital bills, and then was taken to jail for disorderly conduct (yelling at her), disorderly conduct provoking (yelling at her dad after he started poking finger at my chest), and criminal damage (ripping my face out of wedding pictures after this happened). She was never charged and when I asked to have her charged, other officer said he wasnt going to "step on anyones toes." Crooked system, what about my children????? BM father is good friends with chief of police, and I think somehow this is why she isnt being charged. I have some vague proof of her drug use (texts to her friend almost begging her to stop giving her dope, and that it is tearing family apart. Phone calls to my mom and a friend of mine who I called after finding her stash. All between 4 days and 2 weeks prior to this incident. I dont want her to lose right to kids, but I dont want her taking mine away either! I have 1300+pictures of my children and over 200 videos (from birth to date). I will print some out, thanks. Do you think I should get statements from my mom and my friend for evaluator? Show her texts? This would be bashing, but are also the absolute true facts of what transpired. I do have an atty but I currently owe him 3000+ dollars on top of the 8500 I have already given him. I am broke, but thankful that he will work with me. BM even sent my entire family e-mail stating I have DV case pending, and she does not. Along with several other comments. I wish I could make the whole story public somehow. I am telling the truth and she has since claimed sexual abuse w/my children, physical abuse on her, and physical abuse of my children. All of which is untrue. Her deposition did not go well for her when asked questions regarding these claims. CPS report didnt look too good for her either. I should bring copy of deposition and cps report to evaluation also, yes? Guess I worry that I will begin just 'bashing mom' instead of showing how I am a good father to my kids, and only want whats in their best interests. Taking them away from dad on technical charge, when her dads influence and their lies kept her from being charged, is NOT IN THE BEST INTERST OF MY SON AND DAUGHTER! God says to save the judging for Him, but I am so exhausted from all of this. Constantly defending myself, when she is the one who did wrong. Sounds bad, but I hope that this evaluation thing backfires on them, just like the CPS thing did.