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Main Forums => General Issues => Topic started by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 09:14:44 AM

Title: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 09:14:44 AM
Two things first bio mom is saying she is going to take bio dad back to court for more child support because she says he has not reported his change in income, but the child support was based off of an agreement between the two and not off his income. There is nothing in the decree that says he has to report change of income only that he has to report that he needs child support taken out of his pay check and that he needs to make sure he has insurance on him. So can she still get him for back child support? Granted she has had 12 years to take him back to court.
Second if she is asking for more money on the side for other things is there any way of just adding it to the child support  like directly to attorney general instead of making a check out to her, this way she can't try and say that he never gave her anything? I know there is no way that he can stop her from using it for other things such as her other kids (from her current husband), just want to try and make sure its used for him. Court order is in TX.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: tigger on Oct 17, 2011, 09:52:26 AM
Not sure about Tx but in NC CS can be reviewed (requested by either party) every 3 years or if there's a significant difference (ie, the new amount would be 15% higher or lower than what is currently ordered.)  It's unrealistic to believe that an amount set 12 years ago would still be applicable. 

As for the other question, I think if she's requesting 1/2 of the cost of an event, activity or membership, then you can pay the entity directly.  Not sure what difference it makes if she pays $100 for something and asks you to reimburse her for 1/2, and she then spends $50 on a pair of shoes.  It's not your DH's money that bought the shoes, his money paid back what was essentially a loan for his half of what was spent on the child.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 10:21:04 AM
In tx it is either 17 or 20% of the father's income that it is based off, and the same thing goes for every three years she could have taken him back for a change in  child support. No its for clothes, we just dont want to send her $500, and it not go directly to his child. Its just that the relationship between bio mom and bio dad has always been a strained one and now its to the point where she wont even speek to bio dad for basic things, example he called to speak to his son and when he asked to talk to bio mom to talk about how much she needed she refuses to speak to him and most times she does finally speak to him she is rude and hateful. But that is her own problem to deal with
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: tigger on Oct 17, 2011, 10:45:53 AM
Um, CS should be paying for clothes.  However, if he wants to spend $500 on clothing for the child (I'm guessing teen by now?) he can take him shopping and that way he'll know the money was spent on the child and for clothes he wanted.  I would just suggest removing tags before sending the clothes home so they can't be returned to the store for cash or store credit.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 10:51:19 AM
That would work, but they live in Arizona, and yes he is a teenager now well he is 12. So we have no clue where the money would go, before school started we took him shopping and sent him home with a ton of new clothes, shoes, jacket, and school supplies this way we could make sure he had what he needed. It isent a problem sending the money it is just we know it won't all go to  him and that is what he wants.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: ocean on Oct 17, 2011, 11:20:26 AM
Keep doing what you are doing. By the extras when he comes for long visits and pull of the tags so she can not return them. If she wont get on the phone, then no money, ignore. If son says he needs something, ask him what size or send you a link online from a store, and buy it, send in mail.

For other things, pay directly to the place/activity/dr office. Send her a letter/email stating that if there is something he needs to pay for, to let him know hte telephone number/address and he will pay his half directly to them. We have dealt with dentist, braces-ortho-dentist, bowling ally, dance classes. Most are happy to take your check in the mail for your half and some made our own account.

You did school shopping, the next time he comes (THanksgiving or Christmas?) if you want, you can take him shopping again. Then maybe again for spring break.

If she takes you back for more child support, then the extra clothing stops. Child support DOES cover clothes, shelter, and food. Look at his order and see what the court order says about extras. If it does not say anything, then he is not required to send anything else.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 11:36:13 AM
We try to get him what ever he needs/ wants when he comes down plus send him cards with 20 or 40 bucks here and there but we know for a fact she is taking that from him too. He told us this summer that she owed him money because she took what we had sent him.He might come down in December not sure yet she hasen't told us anything yet nor will she till its almost time for christmas break.(http://www.deltabravo.net/forum/Smileys/default/undecided.gif) We know that she is most likely having him and his younger brother (from current husband) share some of their things, which isn't a big deal but dont't lie about what is happening to his stuff. We would be more than happy to pay for any extra activities he does but she doesn't tell us about anything he does so we dont know until afterwards.  The court order says nothing of extras just insuranc and c.s. It wouldn't matter anyways she doesnt't follow the order , she makes up the rules as we go along.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: ocean on Oct 17, 2011, 12:06:15 PM
What about gift cards? Probably take them too but at least it would at that store. Maybe a mens/boys/sporting good store.
Better just putting money away until he comes to you. Go shopping one of the first days you are there. Let him wear the new clothes, wash them and send them home :)
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: Simplydad on Oct 17, 2011, 12:49:50 PM
In Texas if the ex wants to increase the child support she will have to make a request for a review that can be done every few years.  Both the custodial and non-custodial parent can request the review.  The Texas AG office sends a notice every year informing each parent of their rights to request this review.  So the best his ex is going to get is an increase from the date it was applied forward.  The AG office cannot award retro child support.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: MixedBag on Oct 17, 2011, 01:27:41 PM

Not sure about Tx but in NC CS can be reviewed (requested by either party) every 3 years or if there's a significant difference (ie, the new amount would be 15% higher or lower than what is currently ordered.)  It's unrealistic to believe that an amount set 12 years ago would still be applicable. 


 
THAT comment bothers me...
 
If this is something they agreed to -- .... well, see it hits home for me real closely.
 
EX#2 AGREED/ASKED for a very low amount from me when we split and that I pay all transportation, and gasoline expenses for EX to drive our son to the airport.
 
SO.....YES, every time he came back to court to ask for MORE CS, I consider that retaliation particularly since every time he filed it was right after I filed something to ask for more time or to ask for make-up time -- that he be held in contempt of court.
 
YES, the amount was low.....but he came up with the number, not me.  AND back then, there were no tables and stuff for our state.  They were all implemented about a year or two after our divorce.
 
There was NO SIGNIFICANT change in circumstances to warrant higher child support either.  Our son was healthy -- and my insurance covered him well.
 
I bet this dad feels that way too.....(and the Stepmom).
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 04:06:55 PM
@Mixedbag, YES the thought of her seeing our financials and our tax refund bother me a great deal!!!! I don't feel like she has a right to see it.  They were never married so it isnet like they had a life together it just happened. It is one thing for the AG to see it and make a decision but for another person to see it its  totally different. I feel like she agreed to that amount and has had more than enough time and opportunity to make an ammendment to it if she wanted to why wait till now? She has known for the past 6 almost 7 years that he had gotten a different job and there is no way she could have thought that he made the same amount. Her thing is that she is a bully and doesnt want anyone telling her that she is wrong. Her husband is in the military and she likes to move around and not be around any of her family so we were thinking that is one reason she never did it before  so that he wouldnt add to the paperwork for her not to live more than 100 miles away.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: tigger on Oct 17, 2011, 04:15:53 PM

Not sure about Tx but in NC CS can be reviewed (requested by either party) every 3 years or if there's a significant difference (ie, the new amount would be 15% higher or lower than what is currently ordered.)  It's unrealistic to believe that an amount set 12 years ago would still be applicable. 



THAT comment bothers me...

If this is something they agreed to -- .... well, see it hits home for me real closely.

EX#2 AGREED/ASKED for a very low amount from me when we split and that I pay all transportation, and gasoline expenses for EX to drive our son to the airport.

SO.....YES, every time he came back to court to ask for MORE CS, I consider that retaliation particularly since every time he filed it was right after I filed something to ask for more time or to ask for make-up time -- that he be held in contempt of court.

YES, the amount was low.....but he came up with the number, not me.  AND back then, there were no tables and stuff for our state.  They were all implemented about a year or two after our divorce.

There was NO SIGNIFICANT change in circumstances to warrant higher child support either.  Our son was healthy -- and my insurance covered him well.

I bet this dad feels that way too.....(and the Stepmom).

Good grief.  It's not always a bad comment.  In my situation, I accepted a lower than state guidelines amount from my ex for years.  The amount he paid didn't even pay my child care costs for both kids.  However, when they aged out of daycare, he wanted CS reviewed.  The amount set (although agreed to by both parties) wasn't applicable to our current situation.  I supplied my financial information and he played games with his.  When all was said and done, CS was reduced by $150.  That was fair. 

12 years is a VERY long time without a review.  Another story for you.

My aunt and her ex divorced when the girls were 2.  She agreed to $50/week just to get it all over with.  Fast forward 14 years.  He talks one of the girls into getting married.  She does and he immediately takes a copy of the marriage certificate over to CS and says he wants her removed because she's married and therefore emancipated and wants his CS reduced to $25/wk for the next two years.  CSE reviews the case and increases his CS to $250/month.  He was not a happy camper.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 04:29:49 PM
That has always been a big question for me is why hasen't she bothered to take him back why wait till now? She had told me once before that because he was so young at the time (he had just turned 21 and she was already 26 and she already had 2 other kids she had from a previous marriage and given them to her ex) she was purposly pushing him away because he wasent ready to be a dad. But from what he has told me about it was that she was just a mean hateful woman and he never had any intentions of being with her long term. And sadly I believe him because her and i have had our own runins and she is a hateful woman. She is vulgar and just rude for no reason. I feel like maybe there is something else going on I just dont know what.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: ocean on Oct 17, 2011, 05:38:36 PM
If it does get to court, white out all your info (ss # and salary) and white out the total amount you make. Have him bring his last two paystubs. This way she does not get your info at all. The judge had no problem with that, my husband told judge that I was not a party of the case and my info was whited out. My state it is a simple formula of the NCP (dad) salary so really the mother's salary does not come into play too much here.

She probably did not do it before because she would have to go back to original state to deal with this. If she moved out of that state, she would have to live there over 6 months and ask new state to take over which would stop her child support for a few weeks/months until new state go the paperwork in order.

What does the order say about Christmas break? If it says you get child this year, then use the letter of intent from this site. It is very good and states you intend to have child. If she does not send him, you can file a contempt of court papers and have her tell a judge why is she not following the court order. You could ask for make-up time in those papers and lawyer fees as she is going against a court order.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 17, 2011, 05:57:04 PM
It is a basic order stating that he gets him on the even years so this year we wouldnt get him, but it does say that if he sends her a certified letter 60 days in advance he can still get him if she says ok. Since we are in tx and she is in AZ we couldnt afford to save up for a flight to and from and she wouln't meet him half way either even though it says she is supposed to. If they don't come down on their own then he won't be back until summer time.
Well they are supposed to be there in AZ for the next 5 yrs, in total this will be 5x's that they have moved so far and she is threatening that she is going to close out the case here and reopen it in AZ but we talked to the divorce/ c.s office at the court house and they advised him to ask the court that it stay open here in tx since this is where he works and has never moved from the town it was originally in nor do we have plans on moving. We are hoping that works in our favor.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: MixedBag on Oct 18, 2011, 05:44:47 AM
for jurisdiction, that logic should hold true.

For transportation....I know it's easier said than done, but put a line item into your normal budget for transportation.
 
Oh and Tigger.....My EX#1 had that happen to him.  When the oldest daughter emancipated, he wanted CS cut in half.  Instead it was supposed to go up by $200 per month after a review because I didn't do the reviews every 3 years or so because of our AGREEMENT.
 
My point is that if two people AGREE to an amount, they should be held to that AGREEMENT in terms of CS UNLESS there is a significant change in circumstances like need for the child.  Custody is held to that standard, so why not child support?
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: wife1 on Oct 18, 2011, 08:06:10 AM
Should they take in to consideration that he does not get even 1% of the allowed time with the child because they are so far away, how could they even begin to give make up time for all the time lost?
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: Simplydad on Oct 18, 2011, 11:28:48 AM

@Mixedbag, YES the thought of her seeing our financials and our tax refund bother me a great deal!!!! I don't feel like she has a right to see it.  They were never married so it isnet like they had a life together it just happened. It is one thing for the AG to see it and make a decision but for another person to see it its  totally different. I feel like she agreed to that amount and has had more than enough time and opportunity to make an ammendment to it if she wanted to why wait till now? She has known for the past 6 almost 7 years that he had gotten a different job and there is no way she could have thought that he made the same amount. Her thing is that she is a bully and doesnt want anyone telling her that she is wrong. Her husband is in the military and she likes to move around and not be around any of her family so we were thinking that is one reason she never did it before  so that he wouldnt add to the paperwork for her not to live more than 100 miles away.

 
You will not be required to submit tax returns.  The information needed by the attorney general are forms that will reflect both parents income.  You can just submit W-2 Forms and check stubs.   Based on the information if you have an agreed order for child support there is nothing the attorney general can do about back child support because there isn't any.
 
At my child support hearing I showed up with pay stubs.  The amount to be paid was based off of that.  There was no misunderstandings. The guidelines are clear and the amount to be paid no different.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: Simplydad on Oct 18, 2011, 11:31:55 AM
One more thing that I forgot and this is the most important part.  Only the courts can modify the child support amount.  There has to be a hearing.
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: MixedBag on Oct 19, 2011, 05:50:36 AM
ummm.....we (EX#3 and I) had to submit tax returns....
 
and YES, IN NEVADA, my income was taken into consideration -- community property state.
 
I agree though -- black/white out YOUR information if you submit them and also have only Dad's W-2's and stuff.
 
THEN if the court objects to the modification/blacking out of the info, let them tell you that and go from there.
 
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: tigger on Oct 19, 2011, 06:24:35 AM
In NC we're supposed to submit tax returns (my guess is to prove that there isn't more than one job or that the paystubs that are submitted are pretty average and not the lowest available).  I submitted mine, however my ex never submitted his.  Also, he was asking for credit for his daughter with his new wife.  Her income was accepted without question, no w-2's, no paystubs.  Unfortunately for her, I had copies of her stuff and was able to prove that she had altered her information in order to increase my ex's liability for the daughter, decreasing his available income for his sons.  (This, on top of his hiding income (regular, not overtime) of holiday pay, weekends and bonus.)  I had copies of the paystubs from when we were married showing that it was normal and required. 
Title: Re: Child Support questions
Post by: ocean on Oct 19, 2011, 02:14:36 PM
Make-up time can be: all summer from day child gets out to the week before school starts, all of spring/winter break (usually a week off of school).

If she did not send kids, then you can ask for make-up time and that she pays for flights since she did not send them.

Look at the school calendar, should be online. See when they have a week off, usually around feb and easter here. Also, thanksgiving and christmas have quite a few days off too.