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Main Forums => Custody Issues => Topic started by: maggurl21 on Jan 10, 2012, 05:50:36 PM

Title: Going to mediation
Post by: maggurl21 on Jan 10, 2012, 05:50:36 PM
I am going to mediation in a few weeks found this website and had a few questions. I was never married to my children's father and he did not worry about getting custody of our children till I got remarried. He also did not see the children very much either until I got remarried. My husband is in the military and has the possibility to get stationed overseas. I know in the mediation he is going to bring this issue up I do not know how to go about discussing this issue without getting upset.
Title: Re: Going to mediation
Post by: ocean on Jan 10, 2012, 05:55:09 PM
Does your husband have orders to go anytime soon?
If not, then write an order for now and write if parents move away due to job, you will come back to mediation.
IF yes, then you can have kids go with you and give him the big school break in whatever country you are in IF you are allowed to go with your husband. You will pay for travel, and offer if he wants to fly to that country that he can have kids while he is there. If you know you will be moving, you can offer more time before you go too, every weekend, or three weekends that last few months. If you are close some dinner visits. Offer webcam time while away with days and times kids will be available.
Title: Re: Going to mediation
Post by: maggurl21 on Jan 10, 2012, 06:02:34 PM
He does not have orders now... He may be getting them sometime in September. He does not live that close so it is also very hard for him to see them. He has a job that keeps him away for a month at a time. I let the children go with him for two weeks when he is home but my daughter will be starting preschool again soon and I know this will interfere. I do not know how he will be even able to see them but weekends he's home.
Title: Re: Going to mediation
Post by: ocean on Jan 10, 2012, 06:15:34 PM
Pre-school is important but missing some time to see her father is more important. Does dad have a set schedule? Maybe he can do Fri to Monday and sign her up for 2 days of preschool on Tues and Thurs. You can pick a pre-school between you? and then she can go from both houses? Going to need to change next year for Kindergarten anyway or if he gets orders. Since he does not, then it really can not be addressed but if it is brought up, you can say "when/if he is transferred I will email father and give him as much time as he is off until we leave, we will have to come back to mediation once we find out the state/country and the new school schedule so we can make arrangements for child to come see dad on her school breaks. I am willing to pay for a long summer visit while we are away". You can not really make plans when you do not know the specifics yet...

Try to get a schedule in place, hard if he really does not have a set schedule...some people write "reasonable visitation" but many times that does not work because the parents do not agree. You can write at least xx days a month when dad is not working. Dad will email mom by the 15th of the month for the following months. Child will be able to go to nursery school every tues and thurs. (he can make his own arrangements to take her if he is off that week). How many miles apart are you?
Title: Re: Going to mediation
Post by: MixedBag on Jan 11, 2012, 05:08:23 AM
I'd be looking at "long distance" plans as much as close distance plans.
AND see if you can get something in there are cooperating to get passports down the road.
AND focus on transportation -- like who is gonna pay and who is gonna accompany until the child is old enough to travel on their own.
AND -- one thing I learned to enjoy though I never thought when we divorced it would be a possibility -- 3-day weekends as the school calendar creates them.