SPARC Forums

State Message Forums => Virginia State Forum => Topic started by: Chaz8628 on Jan 17, 2012, 12:04:57 AM

Title: I'm a father and I need help
Post by: Chaz8628 on Jan 17, 2012, 12:04:57 AM
Hi everyone and anyone I need help, my wife and I have separated no final divorce.  In September I filed for custody of my son. I'm a 7 year discharged Marine Corps veteran. I have been the main provider of my son since he was born she has been a stay home mother. when we separated she took him and left to her fathers and has lived with her father since.  I managed to get him back I filed for custody and I had him for a month in a half taking care of him on my own. 

I have a well paying job, I rent a house, he has his own room, own bed, cloths everything even paid baby sitting and a school around the corner.  His mother had been using drugs and I brought that up in court I could not afford a lawyer at the time an neither could she. she had her father come in and lie about how she had been clean from drugs and is a great mother.  I didn't even have a chance the judge ordered me to give my son to her and that I could only see him from Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm every other weekend. I feel like I'm being punished! That was in September 2011.

Since then there have been multiple weekends and multiple weeks that she has needed me to keep him because of her living with her father and not being able to afford to have him.  I have literally had him for weeks at a time and way more days since the court order I have proven that I can very much take him as well as been the primary caregiver after the court order as well.  Over Christmas her car broke down and I let her borrow one of my vehicles so that I may still be able to see him. 

She blackmailed and used him against me saying that she would stop the child support, let me see him from Thursdays to Mondays, and would work with me and allow me to see him.  She used him as leverage against me but even then I still let her use my vehicle so I knew my son was safe.  Just these past few days she said that she wasn't dropping child support and that she needed the money. After retrieving my vehicle back inside the vehicle was littered with lotto scratch tickets, beer receipts, and receipts for the lotto tickets all with her name check card purchases on the receipts.

All the money she is getting is going towards gambling and alcohol. Her family is nothing but alcoholics and drug addicts. In the past she has talked of suicide, she has horrible mood swings, fits of rage and anger, even now she is back and forth about giving up. She is talking and acting irrational and is really starting to scare everyone in my family.  I need help! What can I do to get her evaluated? She is still using drugs how do I go about getting the courts to test her for them?

The reason for our separation is cause last year I caught her smoking pot with her sister and my son in her arms while doing it, I reported her to CPS of VA and I got a letter saying it wasn't enough to investigate and there was no proof of child neglect or abuse.  All I wanted was her tested for drugs.  She has done drugs in the past and my son has fallen on concrete and had not been properly watched.  I don't know what he is subject to when he isn't with me and yet I do not know what to do or how to do anything please anyone help me?