at this moment the mother of my child has sole custody of our child and today we are working on a parenting plan via mediaton (court didnt ask for it), one that fit both parents best on how to share our child.
my question is if the parenting plan should be file to court (pros and cons)?.
the mother does not want to file the parenting plan in court because she says is a hassle and dont want to have more legal issues.
but i feel that only by having the parenting plan filed to court my child, the mother and i are protected in case one part dont follow the rules which we agreed upon the parenting plan.
thanx in advice for your answers.
The ONLY way you can have the parenting plan enforced is to have it filed with the court and have the judge sign it as an order. Otherwise, either of you are free to follow it....or NOT. And your ex knows this or she wouldn't be saying 'it's a hassle'. If she's talking about 'more legal issues', that's ONLY if she refuses to follow the plan and you file a petition with the court for contempt against her.
What you should tell your ex is that if you both follow the plan, then there WON'T be any legal issues unless one of you fails to follow it. Now, that's not to say you can't deviate from it....IF you both agree to it (and I recommend you have that in the parenting plan and that you both put it in writing and sign it if you do deviate). Probably not what she would want to hear, because she's looking for a back door to do what she wants. Would like to see your ex's reaction to that!
DH's custody order specifically stated that IF both parents agreed in writing, they could deviate from the order (originally the parenting plan). Basically, 'what both parents agree to will be considered part of the order'.
Kitty c thanx a lot for your answer!.
now im a bit confuse, seems best thing is to have the parenting plan filed in court, so can i filed the parenting plan even if she refuses to this?. (once we sign the parenting plan in front of a notary i can file the parenting plan, rigth?)
and when you say we add in writing that we both agree to the parenting plan is enough to have the court enforce this agreement in case any of both deviate from it?
If both of you agree, then it can be signed by the judge as an order. But you should include a paragraph or statement in it that states something like: 'If both parties agree in writing to anything beyond the scope of this agreement, it should be considered equal in scope with this agreement and equally enforceable.' Or something comparable in legalese.
Talk to the mediator who's helping you with the parenting plan...it's very possible that they may recommend having the plan filed with the court, too. Really, the whole thing is absolutely worthless unless it's made into an order. Let me guess....she's agreeing to just about everything right now, right? Because she has NO intention of following it. That's what you need the mediator for....tell them that you will NOT sign the agreement unless it is filed with the court.
But be prepared...mediation may come to a complete standstill at that point, especially if she refuses to agree to it and having it filed with the court. At that point, you will have to go back to court to get the judge to work it out between you and the ex. THAT is probably the hassle she wants to avoid...which she can if she agrees to the plan and having it filed.
Here's what I suggest...
The "hassle" comes mainly only in the cost of filing this with the court.
If you two agree, then sign a "JOINT MOTION" as a cover to the parenting plan.
Then it usually costs something to file that with the court to turn it into an order.
If she doesn't agree -- even if you foot the bill -- then you'll know exactly where you stand.