SPARC Forums

I'm interested i knowing if my husband can put a restrictions on who the mother of his children lives with in New jersey. She has had numerous boyfriend in the 5 years my husband and I have been married. She has lived in 12 different homes n my stepchildren have no stability. I worry about their safety. She works 12hours plus n kids have made us aware that,she does not take them to school or pick them up her friends do that and her boyfriend now which we new nothing of watches them until she gets home. Which I worry we don't know the man. When my husband went to court for joint residential custody she told the courts she was stable with a fiancé and a home n that was not the case. We have the kids from Friday to Friday every other week so 2 weeks out of the month. The kids 6 and 10 have stated they want to be with us because mommy never has,time for them. Please advise we want our kids with us.

If she has a steady job, ask for First Right of Refusal which basically says that when either parent needs a babysitter the other parent has the first right to watch their children. If she is working 12 hour same days each week, you can requests those days as she is leaving them with a non family member and father requests the right to watch his children before any other person when mother is away for more than 2 hours.

You can get a provision she has no overnights with opposite sex until married since this is the xx boyfriend in xx years but really it is hard to enforce and she may just marry them all! LOL

Lol her jobs are not steady that's the problem. She would love that we do all the watching but when we are in court n she finds out child support will need to be modified she refuses for time spent she refuses. We use to do that and I got to the point where they are with us all the time n she is getting support for supporting them n they are with us. I think that's a bit ridiculous,  I want the kids safe and it becoming an issue.

Just go in at first to get the wording in even if she switches job before you get to court. Make it tight wording "each parent will call the other parent when they need babysitter over 2 hours, this includes work schedules, vacations, and long outings out of the house. Bio parents will have first right before step-parents or other family members or live in people" Then keep track when you have kids for 3-6 months. Then go back and ask for a child support mod since you have the months of proof behind you.

You can leave out the step-parent wording and state " bio parents and step-parents may fill in for bio parent within each household before finance, other family members, and non family live ins"

We can do that but it will not work. We've tried so many things n some how it does not work in our favor. We've even calld dyfs 3 times for the living conditions were horrible and dyfs called her n let her know n the slapped on the hand and said clean this,up n we will look the other way. Thanks for the advice I'm letting my husband know we,are going to see an atty this week.