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Main Forums => Visitation Issues => Topic started by: apple20 on May 18, 2013, 12:17:43 PM

Title: What is custodial interference...
Post by: apple20 on May 18, 2013, 12:17:43 PM
My ex hasn't physically seen his kids in almost two years (he is in another place far away due to work). He is coming home this for a short time and is going all over the place to visit other people and travel. He wants to see his children over a weekend (coming up very soon) I worked with him over the thurs... me compromising, he had told me he wanted to return them Sunday... that was the plan from the beginning, now he says suddenly he would like them till weds or  Sunday i could pick them up...Well since he had told me Sunday from the get go my husband and i made appointments and such (on his other day off from his job). My exs new wife and i DON'T (drama from my point of view on her end and i wont deal with it anymore) get along (she is constantly butting in with our kids.. making derogatory remarks to other people about me (that part doesn't involve the kids) but telling my kids things that they don't need to hear) since hes been away "he hasn't driven in a while and doesn't think he'd be able to" she is refusing as she is the transportation to bring them back on Monday as she has to work a couple hours "and doesn't feel like driving" there have been plenty of times my husband has worked and then picked up and drove the kids after. I am just tired of them trying to dictate to me when and where I have to be and there being NO compromise on their and and just demanding. I AM NOT not willing to share my kids or give them time with their father.... this would be only the second time in fourish years i have told him NO or said well if you cant compromise... I'm just so lost. I cant always be the one because of their poor planning to stop not only my life but the kids life because he wants to come see them. before anyone goes judging me i do a lot to help "foster" a relationship (yes i know my word, just saying though) we are the ones one our end constantly saying hey you want to talk to your kids because he spends all but like ten minutes on the comp with another person. write letters when he cant be on video from the kids etc.

 we have a 9 year old and a 6 year old.

Feel free to ask questions if you need clarification... I truly care about this and don't want it to be misconstrued I am probably not writing clearly as I am stressed out write now and very frustrated.
Title: Re: What is custodial interference...
Post by: ocean on May 18, 2013, 02:04:47 PM
Do you have a court order? Follow the court order. Custodial interference is when you refuse to follow court order and not allowing visitation.   Send him an email that you will be following the court order so he can pick up at xx and drop off at xx as of page x line x in our court. The kids need to be dropped back off on Sunday 8pm so they can go to school on Monday.

Call the police station by him and ask what they would do if kids were not retuned by the court ordered time. You would need to bring your court papers with you to prove they are supposed to be back with you.
Title: Re: What is custodial interference...
Post by: apple20 on May 18, 2013, 02:12:12 PM
our order says summers and holidays as the parties can agree upon... there is no set times or days .... things  have been amicable till now as long as i show up when and where they want me too. (mostly his wife because she does all the planning and expects me to follow their schedule)
Title: Re: What is custodial interference...
Post by: ocean on May 18, 2013, 06:37:58 PM
If dad is only here for a certain amount of time and then going back to work far away, some choices:
Email/text him:
"Children would like to see you, I offered you Thurs- Sunday but the kids need to be back by 8pm so they can go to school on Monday. If you can not do this, maybe come out to them for a dinner night. If you can not make arrangements to get them back to the house, Sunday then (1. I am willing to meet you at XX (half way?) at Xpm  OR 2.. they can not come this weekend and will wait until you get home and follow the court order for holidays/summer visits.
Please let me know by this Wednesday your plans so I can make arrangements and have girls ready."

Pick 1 or 2 but if the girls have not seen him in 2 years maybe he can come for a dinner visit first and then maybe take them 1-2 nights?

PS You should not be dealing with step-mom especially since he is away. No reason too. After this visit it will be a while again if he is home for the summer visit. Ignore her and email "I will only be discussing the kids schedules/issues with their father". Tell him the same thing.
Title: Re: What is custodial interference...
Post by: MixedBag on May 20, 2013, 07:04:04 AM
custodial interference is also when a child is taken from the lawful guardian -- as in kidnapped would be one extreme.
there are "custodial interference" criminal codes out there, and the interpretation as to how they apply to a couple who has divorced gets different results from different judge.
To you and I who deal with divorce and use "custodial parent" -- it's obvious that it should/could/would apply.  But to the other part of the world, it's for when another individual "takes" or "Keeps" a child that isn't theirs in any way shape or form.
Here's another take....or something that crossed my mind. 
1.  A good answer is "Let's go by the court order" -- and if the parties need to mutually agree, and you really can't agree....well, ok.
BUT sounds like this dad is MIA most of the time....emotionally, I would be concerned about the children seeing him so little -- on the flip side if he were around, you'd have to let the children go "more often" than you do now.
What does it say about transportation?
Are you projecting your anger at his (bad) decision to see them once in a blue moon? ???
guess I recognize that -- because I know someone too where Dad has "disappeared" now for 18 months and hasn't contacted the kids.  So we've discussed "What happens when he returns?  How should this be handled?"  -- and in this case, dad is just around the corner and hasn't made contact and is pretending this kids don't exist.