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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: What2Do4 on Mar 29, 2014, 03:37:06 PM

Title: 12 year old surprise
Post by: What2Do4 on Mar 29, 2014, 03:37:06 PM
About three weeks ago a lady that I had a one night stand with contacted me and told me I have a 10 year old daughter with her. She lives in Pennsylvania and the child lives about an hour away from me with her grandmother and uncle. I asked why she didn't tell me about her way back then. She responded that she knew I was having my own problems and that she didn't want to bother me with this. I asked why she was telling me now and she said it's because the child was asking questions about her dad. The time frame makes it possible that she is my daughter. She, for some reason at age 10, has her own facebook and I've seen some of her pictures. She does have similar features to my oldest daughter. The mother claims she doesn't want money and said that I don't need to tell anyone. Of course I told my wife who wasn't mad at me but isn't thrilled either! The mother has since told the daughter of me and sent pics of me. The girl has since blocked me from being able to see her facebook! I really don't know what to do at this moment.
Title: Re: 12 year old surprise
Post by: Waylon on Mar 29, 2014, 03:57:08 PM
Don't do ANYTHING until you get a paternity test. Demand one ASAP and do NOT take "no" for an answer. A family resemblance means nothing. You might need to get an attorney to force the mother to allow a paternity test to be taken, but that's what you need to get first.


Quote from: What2Do4 on Mar 29, 2014, 03:37:06 PM
About three weeks ago a lady that I had a one night stand with contacted me and told me I have a 10 year old daughter with her. She lives in Pennsylvania and the child lives about an hour away from me with her grandmother and uncle. I asked why she didn't tell me about her way back then. She responded that she knew I was having my own problems and that she didn't want to bother me with this. I asked why she was telling me now and she said it's because the child was asking questions about her dad. The time frame makes it possible that she is my daughter. She, for some reason at age 10, has her own facebook and I've seen some of her pictures. She does have similar features to my oldest daughter. The mother claims she doesn't want money and said that I don't need to tell anyone. Of course I told my wife who wasn't mad at me but isn't thrilled either! The mother has since told the daughter of me and sent pics of me. The girl has since blocked me from being able to see her facebook! I really don't know what to do at this moment.
Title: Re: 12 year old surprise
Post by: ocean on Mar 29, 2014, 05:03:02 PM
Depends what you want to do....but yes, Paternity test before any visits or getting involved with the child.

Once you get Paternity test, she/grandma can request child support and you can counter with visitation. Is there a reason why mom does not have custody? Grandma probably afraid you will want paternity and want custody since child is not with mom now and she had child block you. 

Good luck! If mom will not agree to take child for paternity test, you would file paternity in family court.
Title: Re: 12 year old surprise
Post by: MixedBag on Mar 30, 2014, 06:30:38 AM
and create a second account on facebook so that you can still see her page -- but she doesn't know THAT name to block you.
Title: Re: 12 year old surprise
Post by: tigger on Mar 31, 2014, 07:32:47 AM
Agreed.  Demand paternity test no matter what.  My cousin's oldest child looks like her husband.  That child was adopted by both of them.  He also resembles his maternal grandfather.  Again, not because of DNA connection, just random resemblance.  My son's girlfriend looks like she could be my nephew's sister.  No connection.  (And no, we're not from a small town.  In fact, my cousin was in Alaska when she adopted and we're from NC). 

So what do you want to do?