SPARC Forums

My son has my last name and I was not married to his dad. Bio dad pays chi;ld support and we have an open door policy.Eben his entire family visits my son. I believe that technically speaking, I have full custody but I know as my son gets older, he may have extra curricular activities and dad may or may not want to pay and without a parenting plan, he has no saying. Also, dad is supposed to pat for 50 % of out of pocket expenses and i WOULD HAVE TO be in court filing for reimbursement just because he does not think that something was necessary.
so I am considering filing for custody/ visitation so that everything is in writing. Should I? should I not? why? why not?
i don't think dad wants overnight visitation or long stretches of visitation so I don't think he will go for this just to lower child support.

Take out your child support order and really read it. It should say something about custody or that mother is residential parent. Since he is paying you child support, you have physical custody. It is up to him to go and get joint legal (for important decisions- school, medical procedure).

Since you are working it out with visitation, why stir the pot? If you get along than leave it be. It would be up to him to go get an order if you start telling him no. If you are looking for set visitation , ask him to fill in a calendar for the next month so you can make plans around it, or have him pick certain day/times the same each week?

Court starts trouble, no one is happy in the end. The courts WILL give him overnights and there will be a holiday and vacation schedule. That is just part of the "normal" schedule they give out so be prepared for that.

It will take time to file, money (fees and maybe get a lawyer), and time off of work for several days (one each month for a few times usually, especially if you do not agree). Some cases take months to almost a year or more to settle or go to trial. So only you can say if it is worth it.