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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: superdad01 on May 29, 2014, 08:52:41 PM

Title: Alienation amping up. Frustrated.
Post by: superdad01 on May 29, 2014, 08:52:41 PM
Stressed. Not really sure on how to handle this.

first thing is Mom is acting completely innocent and even though she is throwing gas on the fire she somehow acts like she is doing nothing to fan the flames. Blames the detoriation of the relationship completely on me and my parenting. I guess those little things called rules just wreak havoc on these poor children.

quick run down. I have shared custody but due to mom moving far away I get 3 weekends a month during school and 1/2 the summer.

So the last 3 weeks something on their end has popped up on the friday of my weekend which makes the drive to go get her nearly impossible. So we switched things around because I lost a day here and will make one up later and made it happen. Now I get my first notice today of a school activity tomorow night  which ends late and once again this friday pickup almost impossible. Since I am working all weekend I would be driving a total of 3hrs to pick the kid up to spend a grand total of maybe 7 or 8 hours together.

Its really a no win situation. if I say no i'm picking you up at reg time then I am psycho dad who ruined her life. and if I can't go get the kid then I am loser dad who can't make time for his kid.

How would you all handle this.
Title: Re: Alienation amping up. Frustrated.
Post by: ocean on May 30, 2014, 04:43:50 AM
How old again?
If child is jr high or higher, then you are going to have to start make some accommodations as the teen social life becomes their world and not the parents (both parents). Friends are number one. Maybe some times, make the trip for a meal in her area? Will mom drive her to a half way point to have a few hours with her and then take her back? Some weekends, let child bring friend to you?

Talk to your child next time they are there and say, I know you want to do school things and want you to do them but I need more than one days notice so I can figure out travel plans. Ask child to make some choices, sometimes pick special school events and sometimes dad weekend.

End of the year things at school now is crazy, (field days, concerts, awards night, art show...)  Try to make it work. If you are working part of the weekend, then she misses one. Do you have social medial with child? Snapchat, video phone, facebook, twitter, instagram....and good old phone calls.

If you were near her, you would be running to these the school function something that parents can go to? volunteer at? Go and help out then take her home. It will be late but child will remember it. Call the school and PTA. Look online for calendars and events so you get some heads up on what might be coming.

Good luck!
Title: Re: Alienation amping up. Frustrated.
Post by: superdad01 on May 30, 2014, 04:41:21 PM
child is 12 going on 20. Child is still connected to mom umbilical cord. She keeps her on a tight leash. If the child is given a choice it will always be mom. She has been programed. I tried to temp her with a trip to the waterpark last week and she said she wanted to go but she wanted to stay home as well and do nothing. I don't get it. I could understand if it happened to both of us but nope... Only me.

I find myself lately always on speaker phone being attacked by both of them. Hell I can't even tell them apart. Child who is not interested in much of anything now has all these interests that are tightly packed into her moms group of friends. We can't get her interested in anything. if we do take her somewhere is like putting clothes on a rock. She don't look happy to go anywhere or do anything unless it is only for her. 

No social media with child. Dont want her mom invading my space. Have debated on making a profile only for her. I was added once to her facebook so I made sure to hide all my fathers rights kind of stuff. She deleted me before we ever had a chance to talk on facebook.
Title: Re: Alienation amping up. Frustrated.
Post by: MixedBag on May 30, 2014, 05:03:33 PM
Divorce Poison, over and over again....