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Main Forums => Dear Socrateaser => Topic started by: johndoe808 on Jun 26, 2014, 01:25:23 PM

Title: Follow court order for exchanges or not to follow the court order?
Post by: johndoe808 on Jun 26, 2014, 01:25:23 PM
Background:  In FL the ex was granted a DVI when she tried to press domestic violence charges that were unfounded and eventually the states attorney did not press charges.  A court order was entered to have exchanges at the paternal grandparents house where I was living.  I moved out and the ex insisted that we do exchanges at my new residence.  As a fool I agreed.  Well she tried to have me violated on the DVI without success.  She tried to make me pick up at the marital home or I could not see the children.  When I did she tried to have me violated again without success.  Eventually, I had to move back to my parents house after loosing my job and a conflict with the babysitter who was bringing the children to exchanges and withheld my daughter under orders from my wife because of an open CPS sexual abuse allegation that was actually closed. 

Well, as we are currently, for the last 3 mo the ex has been having the children brought to a police station for exchanges.  Nothing in the DVI says I can go anywhere other than the paternal grandparents house for exchanges and I don't want a violation of the DVI especially since it is almost expired.  however the ex refuses to follow the court order claiming the safety of her and the children so she can not bring them to anywhere other than the police station.  There has never been any issues of exchanges at the paternal grandparents house.  *Note I have documentation that the ex does not always bring them for exchanges. EX sitter, mother, etc will bring them.

Soon we are going before the judge to hear the ex's emergency motion for relocation of exchanges and my contempt charge will be heard at the same time.

1.) Will the judge likely enforce the court order for exchanges or likely grant a police station for exchanges.
2.) Will I likely be granted make up time as this no exchange has been going on nearly 3 mo.
3.) Will the judge likely hold the ex in contempt?

Title: Re: Follow court order for exchanges or not to follow the court order?
Post by: MixedBag on Jun 27, 2014, 04:47:16 AM
There is no attorney here -- anymore -- just common people.
Personally, I think the judge will focus on results -- are the children being allowed to spend time with you like the order says?
I personally think Police stations are a great place to exchange kids when one side is causing problems.
I personally think that it doesn't matter WHO brings the kids as long as they are brought.s
Focus on the goal:  TIME with the children.
Title: Re: Follow court order for exchanges or not to follow the court order?
Post by: MomonamissionNY on Jun 27, 2014, 09:55:14 AM
Follow court order and document exchanges when they do happen either having someone accompany you or video for proof.  Is she does not follow court order then she is in violation.  I would call the police and have it documented as well that you were denied visitation.  When I could rattle off the officer's name, number and a case number my EXX didn't stand a chance lying about refusing me visitation.
Title: Re: Follow court order for exchanges or not to follow the court order?
Post by: MixedBag on Jun 27, 2014, 10:05:30 AM
I agree to an extent.....if Mom is willing to drop/exchange the kids at the police station, then I'd focus on the exchange as opposed to the location that's in the order.

THEN after say two months of showing a pattern, Dad can ask the court to change the location of the exchange due to past cooperative behavior.

When one parent creates problems or is a problem, police departments are the recommended place for the exchanges.

Do you really think it's good advice for the father to say "Stick to the order" and Mom says "Police station or you don't get them" and then the judge will side with the father?  See.....compared to the headaches, I don't think that's a wise chess move.

Pick and choose your battles....Dad....and while I would agree standing your ground on 99% of other locations other than what's in the order, the police station is a good compromise and once Mom shows that she'll cooperate that way, get it in writing and converted into an order.
Title: Re: Follow court order for exchanges or not to follow the court order?
Post by: StepMom123 on Aug 08, 2014, 11:28:52 AM
We had/have similar issues although there is no DVI....

Suggestion - the next time your ex says she will make the exchange at the police station - agree.
Then go directly to the police station (do NOT wait until the exchange - go days or weeks early), introduce yourself, show them the current DVI and current order and let them know that your ex is insisting on exchanging the kids there at the station and ask, pretty please, if one of the officers will just stand and watch the exchange since #1 you do not want to violate the  current court order #2 you do not want to violate the DVI #3 you do want visitation with your children. Then at the appointed day for the exchange, get to the station a little early and ask for the officer to witness the exchange. Apologize for  the inconvenience and thank them for their assistance.

We had to do this with the ex just one time and now she only insists on exchanges in the parking lot instead of inside with "witnesses" "just in case" something happens.