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Main Forums => Father's Issues => Topic started by: superdad01 on Nov 27, 2015, 07:51:13 PM

Title: cell phone Topic in counciling
Post by: superdad01 on Nov 27, 2015, 07:51:13 PM
This cell phone by is still being brought up as a big deal. Which I tried explaining that the child is not denied use of her cell phone when she wants to call someone or someone is calling her. We simply stated we are not going to allow her to disappear into the phone for hours at a time. NO secret messages and all that crap to mom.

Mom has stated that she wants to be able to contact child once daily. Which I dont really care but at the same time still does not allow the child to break away and enjoy our side of the family. I mean if mom has child 5 consecutive days through the week and I have her sat and sunday does she really need to call on the other 2 days that I have her? I mean I go 5 and 6 days at a time and sometimes more without hearing from the child, nor having her return my phone calls or texts.

One of the things the councilor tried discussing was allowing child more freedom with the cell phone. I said I was open to the idea but find it funny that the cellphone is so important, yet whenever I call or text child they never answer. I always get a lame excuse of phone being dead etc. this clearly makes me think child is avoiding me. Councilor tried explain to child that dad needs to be a priority and  this will work in her benefit to getting more freedom with her phone.

Meanwhile since this meeting we are going into day 6 without contact nor returning of any calls or texts. I even texted mom to have her call me yet no response either.

I think both are mad that the CPS report came back as dismissed for no evidence.
Title: Re: cell phone Topic in counciling
Post by: superdad01 on Nov 27, 2015, 08:01:01 PM
I also attempted to discuss parental alienation with therapist. She kinda brushed it off and said its more likely to happen to women but the child is still kind of guarded so she don't see it yet.
Title: Re: cell phone Topic in counciling
Post by: ocean on Nov 28, 2015, 08:53:43 AM
First battle is getting a good therapist. Maybe make a simple chart to show at therapy that you tried to call each day with no contact. Maybe even bring cell phone records (print online) and highlight the phone calls- this will show child you are really calling. Going back to your house, your rules. Mom has rules, school has rules, bus driver has rules and so does dad. Maybe also have your own time with therapist (an hour before child comes?) and then you can talk before hand the issues you want addressed that week. Then therapist can see child for half time without you to talk and then bring you in? Is mom involved in these sessions at all?
Title: Re: cell phone Topic in counciling
Post by: superdad01 on Nov 28, 2015, 10:22:07 PM
This person is a licensed social worker. This is the one mom wanted and the child took an instant liking to . More then likely because she was mom's choice. I wanted a licensed marriage and family therapist but their not the easiest to find.

Anyhow one thing I found kinda funny is how the therapist is trying to push moms agenda a little bit. Maybe it's only to help promote communication but I cant say for certain.  Yes i have had a single session with therapist as well as joint session with child as well.

I did discuss the phone calls with therapist in front of the child. that's when therapists said dads phone calls needed to be a priority. I was hoping to see a little change but we are back to square one with all the phone call madness.
Title: Re: cell phone Topic in counciling
Post by: MixedBag on Dec 01, 2015, 06:52:58 AM
screen shot your phone log history and hand her the phone so she can see it matches....
Title: Re: cell phone Topic in counciling
Post by: superdad01 on Dec 02, 2015, 07:55:26 PM
Yes I plan on it. Since our last session 2 weeks ago where therapist said that my calls need to be a priority, I have had exactly 1 phone call from child. Sadly that was simply because for whatever reason she missed my call and called me directly back. I have tried to call and text her several times.

Then I had child that weekend. She stayed at Grandmas. (were taking the resuming parenting time very cautiously for our own protection.) Child informed me that they did not want to do homework and would do it when returning to moms house. I informed the child that it needed to be done if we are going to do anything fun. I even tried contacting mom and explained the situation in text. mom never responded.
Since I am owed make up time I asked child in front of the therapist if I could use some of it over the thanksgiving holiday? Child seemed kind of interested as we had big family plans and family coming in from out of town. The child said she would let me know. She had to ask mom etc.  Well I never heard from them.

So I am gonna walk in and simply say. I gave it a chance. Gave the child a opportunity and nothing changed. and we are keeping our policy on the cell phone in place.  Child will not carry it around. it can either stay home or on the counter.