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State Message Forums => New Mexico State Forum => Topic started by: YouAreMySunshine on Jan 03, 2017, 03:32:31 PM

Title: Recommendations for Mediation
Post by: YouAreMySunshine on Jan 03, 2017, 03:32:31 PM
For anyone searching for a mediator, I personally recommend Martha Kaser.  Her rate is reasonable (~$200/hr), and a great investment for the work she can get done in a single day.  My CP and I saw her twice in 2016, for a half day each time.

The first session was purely financial (unfortunately we ran out of time to settle custody).  Martha is appreciative of preparation (I would assume any professional would be appreciative of your prior legwork).  She and I spoke first, and I laid out a comprehensive list of assets and liabilities, including who I thought had claim to what.  While she appreciated my efforts, she still made her own list.  I sat back and answered questions, trying to provide extra detail only when asked.  She did not want to see documentation until a disagreement arose (but be prepared to show documentation for your claims).  For example, a more recent KBB valuation of my CP's vehicle was used.  Overall, she is extremely reasonable, and will not take guff from you or your CP.  She is also very fair and equitable, making sure both parties get exactly what they are owed.  IMHO, she does not show favoritism.

The second session was not so effective (not Martha's fault).  My CP had neglected our child's medical care, so I wanted to focus on getting an agreement for treatment.  My CP asked for a temporary schedule since she "was confused about what the court order says" regarding visitation (skipped out on 75% of her visitation responsibilities that year).  Martha initially dismissed my request to discuss medical care until I provided documentation of the issue from the doctor.  After that, she was extremely supportive of my requests for medical care, visitation schedule, and custody.  That said, she was a staunch advocate for our child, not either parent.  She was also very helpful in providing recommendations for an experienced custody evaluator, as well as being very honest about my chances of, barriers to, obtaining primary physical custody.

Here is where Martha struggles:  she expects everyone to get along.  If you suspect your CP will not follow through with an agreement, make sure Martha sets a deadline with follow-up consequences.  Make sure you close as many loopholes as possible.

Questions, ask.