SPARC Forums

Has anyone heard of this? Is this a real thing? I read this today, I think the person who wrote this may be misinformed..

"There is a caveat with the child visitations that is implied, but not written. Because moving back and forth between homes can be very stressful for a young child it is suggested that the child stay at one residence until the age of 3. After which the child can stay at the non-custodial parent's house. Check out the "Standard Possession Order."
You'll have to get that written into the papers, a judge is very unlikely to say no to grant that."

So what's more stressful to a child..

1. Knowing and having a relationship with both parents from birth, or
2. Spending the night with a complete stranger at the age of three.

Is this made up? or is this accurate? I thought a standard possession order was like a parenting agreement. I hate the word "possession" when referring to a child. Personally, I would use "blessing".

Have never heard this.  You are absolutely right.  Sounds like some psycho babble from a Feminazi.  I've seen many visitation orders appear on this board for review and nothing like this mentioned or brought up by other members as an issue.  If anything, the only "caveat" I've heard is that of a child who is breast feeding under six months having limited overnights.

but I really doubt that any court would complete eliminate the option of overnight parenting time until the child is 3.  I know that there are standard visitation orders in some Oklahoma districts specifically for children under 3 that have shorter periods with the the NCP than the standard orders for children over 3.  But even those orders allow overnight parenting time.  I think the person you are quoting is taking this idea to the extreme.

What state are you refering to ?

Obviously kids need a parenting relationship with both parents.  The only way to have this is for there to be overnight parenting time.  Kid's learn a routine and adjust to their schedule.  Both parents are capable of caring for a toddler -- although it might take more communication on the parent's part to keep their schedule consistent etc.  

In any case, I don't think anyone would ask a 3 year old to spend the night with a stranger.  They would be spending the night with a parent that hopefully had used all of the time available with the child up to that point.