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Main Forums => Visitation Issues => Topic started by: upsetgranny on Mar 12, 2005, 03:09:05 PM

Title: visitation rights
Post by: upsetgranny on Mar 12, 2005, 03:09:05 PM
I am looking for help. My son has been in a dispute with his ex girlfriend for 6months. He is currently fighting for visitation rights. The ex was letting him have visitation,but turned ugly when he told her he wasn't going to marry her. Now she is making terrible untrue allegations to her lawyer and dragging us(his parents) into it. It is now going to cost us more money from our lawyer. It has saddened me to think that she is using this poor child as a pawn. As my son is young, 18, I am doing all I can to help him. I just need some advise on how to build our case against her. She has made damaging remarks to her lawyer which is asking for an expert to come into our home and investigate us. (My son lives with us as he can not afford to move out because of child support). His ex, let him visit his daughter and even brought her to our home until now. I also need some advise on how to make the lawyer do more. Until now, he hasn't done much. He just tells me that I need to put all our chickens into the water to fight her. Please any advise would help. Thank you.
Title: RE: visitation rights
Post by: patton on Mar 12, 2005, 06:21:31 PM
You don't say what state you live in, so you will probably have to look up some of this information to be sure it is legal in your state.

You need to go by a cheap tape recorder and go to Radio shack and buy a recorder thing to connect to your phone and RECORD any and all conversations you have with her.  Tell your son to NEVER lose his cool, always assume she is recording his conversation also.  

Now if your son has not had a paternity test, he needs to do that also, so his name is on the birth certificate.

Read the ARTICLES here on SPARC, they are a life saver and you can get lots of good tips from them.

Get you a calendar and start a journal or make notes on the calendar.  

I'm assuming you have no visitatoin schedule throught he court.  If you do have one and she's denying your son his visitation then she is in contempt for each visit.  BUT you have to have proof of this.  Courts will not listen to "he said" / "she said" they want proof. Relatives DO NOT make good witnesses.  Some unbiased party is the best witness.

Come into chat some and ask specific questions of people in there.

And DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!  That is the best advice I can give you without knowing more specific information.

Title: RE: visitation rights
Post by: Troubledmom on Mar 12, 2005, 08:19:37 PM
Here are some articles that may help you and your son get started in your journey:

Hope this helps

Title: RE: visitation rights
Post by: gipsy on Mar 13, 2005, 11:29:31 PM
Before you get too far with an atty that say's the chicken thing .listen up .
    Don't deal with an atty that isn't Just telling you the process in your state , And I don't know who the expert that is to investigate your home is , But here this is a Guardian Ad Litem , You need to find out if this is a court appointed GAL that will come over , then You will know that this Investigater is just part of the process , I would not get to excited about all of this , It seems like a big deal to Be investigated ,  I would ask your atty . First I would talk to several atty's And If any of them know your atty ,No comment speaks loud in the atty buiseness , But there confidence In your atty Is what you are looking for ,  And some answeres about if they appoint GALS in your area ,So The first thing you need to find out is If You can get a Guardian A litem appointed where you are , What is the usual is they find the there is no proof to her allegation 's . And here the court won't do anything untill they see a GAL report < the reason is the judge or commissioner ,Doesn't want the local news down at the court with camera's saying theres the judge that gave the kids to a serial killer , And the Judge doesn't investigate , they are busy being the Judge , So some one else does that job , In My case the GAl reported that there was no proof to her allegations , And I should have a parenting plan that Oulines the visit schedual , When the Judge saw this report I was then able to get unsupervised visits , At first I had to have supervised visits because of the same BS , And LISTEN UP , The court has seen this kind of stuff All the time . So getting involved in a bunch of he said she said is a waste of time , If there are FACTS that mean some one is a incompetant parent ,Or a pevert . Or a drug addict , ther could be a problem , But I may add, they don't restrict parenting time If you are an alchoholic , (My atty said So ) So I am a bit leary of an atty that tells you to put all your chickens in the water , [MUSt] be a real city slicker [or] a cook , Because chickens don't like water and they drown ,. Just a fact from a country boy , But His comment leads me to believe he is saying this is some big fight , $$$$$ . But In Wash state [pierce county ]  This means appoint a GAL , And I think this is the investigater She has appointed , And you have to play along with this , And its not a big deal , But My atty gave me advise to Have a room set up With a bed and toys and diapers etc  , Becuase the GAL [usually ] Report like the first one in My case ,And She was an atty , And made one trip to my house , and Said I have the house ready for a baby , and I have a job ,And None of Moms stories could be verified , And there was no police record that verified Moms report , So You need to find out if this is the procees in your area , If it is the atty can't really do much except give you advise , The other reason for the GAL Is because the judge knows that They atty's both represent the PAying parent to get an out come for the parent ,  In my case the order was called  ORDER TO APPOINT GUARDIAN AD LITEM ON BEHALF OF MINOR CHILD ,  so then the judge wants to see this report ,And they won't do much untill they do , It is imperative that you find out if this is the process,  Post again when you find if this is a GAL or you can get one , And if you get one , Make sure the order say's both parties pay ,And tell you atty to say you want atty fee's , That way if she asks You deby her atty fees and are telling the court you have a reason to get them ,Now if the GAl gets appointed , Spend time making yourself out to be a good parent , And less time  in the he said she said , Don't give out any info they can't prove , Generally if they can't prove it , it is hearsay , But I would keep talking to the atty , And find out what the next step is, it should be a proposed parenting plan , And an ORDER TO APPOINT  gUARDIAN AD LITEM , dON'T GIVE UP !! i HAD THE SAME SITUATION AND i HAVE A PARENTING PLAN  , you can email if you want ,