SPARC Forums

Main Forums => Second Families => Topic started by: Ref on Feb 17, 2007, 04:30:35 AM

Title: More venting
Post by: Ref on Feb 17, 2007, 04:30:35 AM
I swear I can't wait for all of this to end. BM is crazy and DH has just given up. SD is doing horribly and I just can't take it anymore.

DH didn't do anything for VD with SD. He is so upset that she hasn't returned his calls that he is no longer calling her until he calls her back. Through all of this drama with having a medical condition, she hasn't called him. He left her messages and even sent her a gift. She never called to thatnk him. He asked BM several times to have SD call him, to no avail. SD Bday is in 10 days. He hasn't even gotten tickets to see her. He makes me nuts. He is just cowering away at the last minute.

BM was talking with him regularly about medical issues. She would tack on issues SD was having in school and SD's attitude. Now that SD is no longer having "major" medical issues, she is back to just telling him of the bills that are coming up.

SD is flunking school. She is making up medical issues (headaches, stomache aches....) so that she can miss class. I know she is doing drugs and drinking and BM will not do a damned thing about it. She may have to go to summer school. I am all about tough love with this girl. She needs to get her S### straight or she isn't going to college, and she thinks she will just charm her way in......

I am so afraid the DH will just give up. I understand that he has had it with them. I completly can't blame him. All I know was SD is acting the same as I did growing up. I pushed my dad away and when I was her age, I needed him and he was too hurt to even talk to me. I just wish he could have been a little stonger and seen through what I was going through. It would have saved me a lot of issues. I even asked my dad if I could live with him and he never returned my call.

Anyway, sorry about the vent.

Title: RE: More venting
Post by: MixedBag on Feb 17, 2007, 05:16:53 AM
what would happen if you bought the ticket for him???  As a surprise to him so he could surprise her?

Maybe a quick down for him, have lunch/dinner, and come back?

airline tickets could be changed for another time and place......

Title: RE: More venting
Post by: Ref on Feb 17, 2007, 06:34:43 AM
He will get to it eventually. It is always a tightrope I walk with him about his daughter. He needs me to nudge him from time-to-time, because things are often very painful for him to deal with and he doesn't want to face them. On the other hand, sometimes he really wants to be left alone.

I try to supportive. Sometimes it is really appreciated. Sometimes it is not welcomed. I just have to handle with kid gloves.

Title: RE: More venting
Post by: MixedBag on Feb 17, 2007, 04:06:19 PM
Oh believe me, I know....

We were/are both NCPs, long distance as a matter of fact.

And we both dealt with different problems...

And it blew up for me.