Subject: FW: 7 reasons not to mess with a child
>
>* A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
>
>The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
>a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
>very small.
>
>The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
>
>Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
>human; it was physically impossible.
>
>The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>
>The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
>
>The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
>
>
>
>* A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while
>they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
>work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
>what the drawing was.
>
>The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
>
>The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
>
>Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:
>replied, "They will in a minute."
>
>
>
>* A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
>five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
>Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
>how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>
>Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered,
>"Thou shall not kill."
>
>
>
>* One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
>the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
>of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
>She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
>hairs white, Mom?"
>
>Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
>make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
>
>The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
>"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
>
>
>
>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
>persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
>
>"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
>and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
>doctor.'
>
>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
>She's dead. "
>
>
>
>* A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
>make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
>blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
>
>"Yes," the class said.
>
>"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary Position
>the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
>
>A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
>
>
>The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
>school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
>nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>
>"Take only ONE. God is watching."
>
>Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
>large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
>
>A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
>Apples.
>
>
>
>It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it
>made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>GOOD, BETTER, BEST
>
>
>
>GOOD:
>
>A Richardson, TX policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
>wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was
>standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP
>AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign
>reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell
>lemonade!)
>
>
>BETTER
>
>A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
>radar post in Plano, TX. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he
>sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with
>another mailed photo of handcuffs.
>
>
>BEST
>
>A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the TX State Trooper Officer
>walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet
>you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He
>replied, "Ma'am, Texas State Troopers don't have balls. "There was a moment
>of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then
>closed his book, got back in his patrol car and drove off. She was laughing
>too hard to start her car.
>