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Main Forums => Dear Socrateaser => Topic started by: pita2577 on Mar 26, 2004, 08:56:28 AM

Post by: pita2577 on Mar 26, 2004, 08:56:28 AM
My name is Charles  I am a divorced father with two children, now the oldest being 19 years of age and the other 12 going to be 13 in May. I have been divorced for 7 years now. Child support is not my issue here WHAT SO EVER! I have been paying like clock work and always intend to do so.
They are in the custody of the mother who was diagnosed as being a Manic Depressive and I believe in my heart a Hypochondriac as well. She takes these children to the doctor for the littlest things, it is like a day out for my son. He has stated more than once he hates going.
When my oldest son was 15 years of age,( over weight 320 lbs at least)PM and said he wanted to come live with me. I DID NOT have any conversations in ANY REGARD with him on this subject prior to this phone call and it took me off guard. I said to him OK talk it over with your mother and have her call me and I will pick you up in the morning. 5mins later she called yelling and screaming at me saying what am I doing, how can I do this. I stated the same as above and said Lisa he called me, pack his bags and I will pick him up. She stated he is not taking nothing from this house except what he is wearing and let me tell you mister he is wearing underwear and a tee shirt. I told her she cannot talk in front of him that way and not to do this to him. I said I will pick him up in the morning.
The next morning she called all sweet and said she spoke to her lawyer and she said we had to do this legal through court. I also told her she will loose the child support as then it will become a wash(one for one) she said no way and when her attorney spoke to her she confirmed that, well now she was not going to give that up. ( I felt so good knowing I was going to get one son and felt the next one was inches away) a court date was scheduled and I attended Prose' she had her attorney. her attorney started speaking of something I knew about, but that was not why I thought I was in court. I raised my hand and the judge let me speak, I said I know what she is talking about, but that is not why I thought I was here, he asked why did I think I was here? I said to get the custody of my oldest son and went on to tell him of the phone call. HE GOT PISSED, REALLY BAD.
The judge started talking to Lisa and her lawyer stood up, he told her to sit down that he was talking ( more like yelling) to Lisa, he asked her if what I said was correct and basically reamed her up and down. He then gave a "VERBAL COURT ORDER" to her attorney and said he wanted my sons phycoligist to make a report as to where she felt my son to be placed. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
My divorce came up and still representing my self, I walked into court still thinking one of my sons was minutes away from being with me all the time, knowing what the judge ordered, knowing it never happened I felt great walking in that room.
The clerk states 'ALL RISE" I stood up and in total dismay a new judge was on the bench. ( said to myself OK.)
The first thing I stated that there was an existing order of the court requesting a report from my sons Physiologist and it still has not been provided. The judge says, he does not regonize any other judges orders, I said your honor this is in regards to the health and welfare of my son, he said do you hear me I said but your honor, he said one more word and I will find you in contempt. I SHUT UP, I now felt it as a lost cause.
I got totally screwed as usual  in this divorce, it turns out we were his FIRST FAMILY MATTER and it took from December to September for this matter to be resolved by him, we had nothing, I do mean nothing.
He is now 19 years of age, has depression, high blood pressure because he is over weight, nerve issues etc. he is going to a community collage and has no focus on where he wants to be or what he wants to be. I watched from afar his demise at her hands, YES she took him to doctors hundreds of times and he has these problems , SHE NEVER CORRECTED HIS PROBLEMS, they just kept getting worse and worse.
She wants to be a mother but acts as a friend instead. This cannot be as she has proven she has no control. she does all she can get him the script, etc. but the reasons behind his illness she does or did nothing about and I hate to say,MY SON IS ALL CONFUSED AND A MESS. If someone wants to listen to his problems, he will talk a mile a minute, if not he could care less about you. He is like her now and I hate to say I may have lost him. I tried to save him but the judge screwed that up. I STILL HOPE I CAN SOME HOW!
NOW I have a 12 year old who is also overweight, 230 to 250 lbs. now has Asthma and other issues. I got a report from my health ins. and she has taken him to the doctor, once, twice and in some cases three times a month in the last 365 days. I am sure at the times he was feeling sick or had some MINOR signs but she rushes him to the doctors all the time.
I pick him up and he smells like a dog, I have to ride with the window open because I gag and my own throat swells as does my fiancee remember I said he has Asthma and he breaths this smell in all day long, will he ever get better? NO WAY.
This past Sunday I dropped him off and let me tell you when I had him he was beaming, smiling and sweet. During this weekend while speaking to him I seen something in his eyes, like he was going far away on me, this scared me!
he shows LOVE  when he is with us and wants to just be heard, which is all any of us wants.
Well anyway I dropped him off on Sunday and his mother came out of the house and this kid went from being smiling and bright to one of stone face. It was like she was holding a gun to his head. He was no longer affectionate, more cold and unsure then ever.
This broke my heart and I cannot let happen to him what I let happen to my oldest son.
I could go on and on and I hope to one day go on and on in a court of law.
Post by: socrateaser on Mar 26, 2004, 01:49:38 PM
Your option is to file a motion to change custody, on grounds that a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child's best interests has occurred. The specific evidence is that (1) the child wants to come live with you, and (2) the child is severely overweight and suffers from anxiety from being mentally abused by his mother.

In order to obtain the evidence you need, you must bring your child to a therapist who can evaluate the child and who will testify to the truth of your allegations. If you do not spend the money to do this, then you will not get the evidence you require and your motion will be denied.

You can probably get this evaluation ordered by the court, if you can get your child to a therapist one time, and the therapist's initial observations confirm your suspicions.

Now, if YOU and your EX are both predisposed to being obease, then this will "weigh" heavily against you (no pun intended), because the court will not perceive that this is anything other than a whining child. However, if you are of reasonable weight and your child is not, then you may have a better shot. In either case, without a professional opinion regarding your child's condition, you don't have any likelihood of prevailing on this issue.

As for the rest of your post, about your opinions/conclusions re what has occurred in the past, and what you, or others, did or didn't do, I could dissect your facts and show you how your past acts and ommissions have contributed to the negative outcomes that you have obtained, however, as this is irrelevant to your obtaining a positive outcome under your current facts, I choose not to do so.

Take your kid to a mental health expert and see if your opinion is validated. Goog luck.