Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - RCD

Pages: 12
Shrink Rap / What do you suggest?
« on: Mar 15, 2004, 06:48:01 AM »
Following is an e-mail. You must read it from the bottom up so that things are in the right order.  I am not offering anything other than the e-mail.  I would like your comments regarding Mom and Dad.  

Thank you for your time.

From: Mom
Sent: Monday, March 15, 2004 8:56 AM
To: 'Dad'
Subject: RE: Overnights

I disagree with every thing that you stated. This is your opinion only nothing more. Son’s braces were not broken when you picked him up as my father had taken him that Thursday and had them fixed. Son called me that Sunday from your home and asked that I make an appointment as his braces had broken again, I called and made the appointment and called you back with time so you could take him as you offered.  This e-mail has nothing to do with the children directly at this point as it is a past event so I will not respond to any of your accusations and harassments. You simply want to argue or you would not have put the last sentence on your e-mail. It is truly pathetic that you record all of the conversations, without my permission. I believe that it is illegal to record a telephone conversation unless the caller is notified to that effect. I hope that someday you get the help you need.

----HACKal Message-----
From: Dad
Sent: Friday, March 12, 2004 8:24 PM
To: 'Mom'
Subject: RE: Overnights
Importance: High

     You stated clearly and consistently that I am not showing you any consideration.  Not once in your prating did you address the issue of SON’S BEST INTERESTS.  This was and is about SON.  I changed my entire day around because Son was sick.  The only thing you did was give me grief.  During the recorded telephone conversation you never once asked me how Son was.  You only placed hurdles in front of me making it more difficult to work in Son’s interests.  

     Finally, please provide specifics regarding your accusation of how you have been inconvinced over the last few weeks.  I picked Son up early last Friday because he was not feeling well and your parents had plans. I took him to the dentist to have his braces fixed (which were broken when I picked him up).  Seems like the more I do the nastier you get!

     Funny, I don’t call these changes and accommodations necessary for Son’s best interests inconsiderate, I call it parenting.

     If you choose not to respond, I will consider it to mean that you agree with everything I stated above.

From: Mom
Sent: Friday, March 12, 2004 2:53 PM
To: 'Dad'
Subject: RE: Overnights

I never said 8:00pm was not ok you said between 8-9pm and I said that was kind of late.

I never said I did not want to get up early I said I don’t want him brought home that early in the morning I did not say why. Do not put words in my mouth.

Everything is always around your schedule I am never even taken into consideration whatsoever. You change plans show up late change times continually without a thought as to anyone else’s schedule this is based on facts and has occurred a lot the past couple of weeks.

I will not respond to this subject any further.

----HACKal Message-----
From: Dad
Sent: Friday, March 12, 2004 2:47 PM
To: 'Mom'
Subject: RE: Overnights
Importance: High

When children are sick, plans naturally change.  I informed you prior to 8 am that he was sick and that I would contact you as soon as I could regarding the balance of the day and any necessary plan adjustments.

When I woke Son up this morning, he told me it hurt to move his head.  Your position that he could travel demonstrated a complete disregard for Son’s well being.  

Further, your comments regarding my schedule again show a COMPLETE lack of consideration despite your claim to the contrary.

I told you on the telephone that I would confirm the return time as soon as I was able to solidify my schedule. Obviously that was not good enough for you!

When I suggested 8 pm YOU told me that is was not convenient.  I offered the alternative for tomorrow morning and you said you didn’t want to have to get up early for that.

My suggestion that YOU come to get Son was based on the fact that you didn’t like anything that I offered.  

To answer your questions directly:

1) Appointments; 2) appointments; 3) Son was Sick

From: Mom  
Sent: Friday, March 12, 2004 12:27 PM
To: Dad
Subject: Overnights

SON being sick today is another example of why overnights during the week are not a good idea. Even if Son was sick from school he should have been brought home this morning as you would have had to bring him to school anyway and since it is just a headache there is no reason that he could not have traveled. That way I could have arranged things this morning. You keeping him and not being able to notify me what time you will bring him home is totally inconsiderate. I am confirming to you that Son needs to be brought home tonight. Please notify me by 5:00pm as to what time that will be. Overnights during the week are not a good idea as things like this occur and I have to wait till the last minute to arrange my schedule. I do not ever make you wait till the last minute to tell you when you can get Son and not give you a specific time telling you that I will call and let you know. I show consideration to you. You should express that same consideration to me. As for your comment for me to come get him if I don’t like the arrangements you are dictating, these overnights during the week were your idea and you are responsible for the transportation for this. Your extra parenting night was Thursday night and Son is to be returned on Fridays not Saturday mornings.  What is keeping you from bringing Son home sometime during the day as I could make sure my parents were available to be there for him? If you are not working, why can’t you bring Son home sometime during the day? Why wasn’t Son brought home this morning before school?

Dear Socrateaser / Child refuses to live with CP
« on: Nov 27, 2006, 05:03:59 PM »
Dear Soc,  
I received the following e-mail from former spouse.  It is pertinent to the questions I have and hence have included it.  

Former Spouse Writes …..

 I have requested in the past on several occasions that you increase your parenting time with Son. Since July Son has only had 10 overnight visits with you. Son is refusing to stay at my home and is spending almost every night (with the exception of about 5 nights) at Friends house since the beginning of November apparently without any explanation as to why this suddenly occurred.

 I have exhausted all of my means of trying to talk with him and make him stay home. There have not been any huge blow ups at our home since August so why he chooses now to decide he does not want to stay home is puzzling to me. He will not even have a rationale discussion with me. I ask about homework and I am totally ignored. He swears at me on a regular basis. I feel very strongly that Son needs to be with a parent overnight on school nights.

Since he is refusing to stay with me I am asking that you keep him from now, beginning as soon as possible, until after Christmas break and school resumes again. I am desperately hoping that this will benefit Son immensely. I am desperate to help our son and if letting him stay with you for this time period will help him deal with what is going on inside him right now is best then I will certainly do whatever is best for Son. I love our son dearly and I will do whatever it takes to help him.

 I feel (as I have asked several time in the past) that Son should spend a lot more parenting time with you and perhaps that would help the situation once he has had time to settle down and think about things more clearly.

 I will agree to allow Son to stay with you temporarily from now until the 1st of the year when school resumes after Christmas break. I will only agree to this if I receive something in writing or e-mail from you agreeing to this arrangement. I will need to know when this situation will begin. I will also want it confirmed that this means that Son will be spending overnights with you and not left at a friend’s house on school nights.

If you cannot agree to this arrangement that he not be left with a friend on school nights then there is no difference to what is going on right now and no change in the situation. I will also want to be assured that you will be totally responsible for him and that he will not be showing up at the house without my knowledge ahead of time. If you call me I can make arrangements to be home if Son needs to pick anything up from the house.

 Please confirm this arrangement as soon as possible so I will know how to proceed with Son if I will still be responsible for him. If I do not hear from you by Wednesday I will assume that things will remain as they are and that you will not be taking this parenting time opportunity to try to help our son. I feel that this would be a far better situation than to have you call protective services and have our son put in a foster home. I am asking for your help with our son so that he has the best chance possible to correct this situation.

 Son needs help dealing with his continuing anger problem and his total disrespect towards me. I have suggested counseling again but he refuses to even discuss this with me. Perhaps you can talk with him about this matter and have all of us go to counseling with him.  

 I will not consider this arrangement without written confirmation not verbal.
 Ex Spouse


Additional Information,
 - Son is 15 and 8 months old

 - I have been and continue to speak with son nearly every night .

 - There have been physical altercations between Son and his step father – child protective services were involved and investigated but found no cause for action. Twice in the last 3 years

 - There is a mountain of motions to gain additional parenting time which were constantly fought by former spouse.  I have spent thousands of dollars fighting for additional parenting time so comments regarding requesting that I spend me time are incorrect and misleading.

 - Anger Management counseling was begun 3 years ago and stopped by former spouse because she had no trouble with son.  Former spouse actively resisted attempts to use the tools presented in the sessions.  I had trouble with Son 2 years ago and most of this according to counselor was backlash from parental fighting.

 - Although we are only 20 minutes apart, there is an international border between us.  This imposes significant challenges in the daily school commute.  Ex spouse knows this and is exploiting this border issue.   There are nights where Son will be required to stay at friends house to be in school the next morning.  I know the parents of Son’s friend and am comfortable with the behavioral standards they impose.  

 - Case and jurisdiction is Michigan

 - I have responded that I will accept total responsibility for Son, without restrictions.  I have received no response yet.  

 - I will be expected to pay full child support as well as incur the additional transportation expenses for this temporary period.  I am not saying that I am not willing to do so, but just that I must.



1)Is there enough in ex-spouse letter to demonstrate a change ion material circumstances regarding custody? In other words has the status quo been disrupted?

2) What types of petitions Should I consider filing with the court ?  


Dear Socrateaser / Thank You (NM)
« on: Mar 05, 2006, 06:26:31 PM »

Dear Socrateaser / RE: Timing for Elective Surgery
« on: Mar 05, 2006, 12:27:10 PM »
Thank you for the input - Based on your response it appears that I was not clear in my presentation.

I never intended to imply that the procedures were not necessary, or that I was attempting to avoid paying my lawful share.

My situation is that if I am required to come up with my percentage of the bill NOW, I WILL lose my house.  I do not have the resources at this point.  My financial situation changes significantly when a new 3 year govenment contract launches, but that is 12 to 16 weeks from now.  

The Plaintiff refuses to cooperate with obtaining a second opinion by refusing to provide me with medical card information she carries for the child (in this matter the court ruled that because the coverage is provided theough Plaintiff's new spouse's employer they do not need to give me a card  -  In fact, in court and on the record, Plaintiff's spouse stated affiramitively that if the court ordered that I was to be given a card, the insurance would be cancelled).  The only appointments I have been able to make  to obtain a second opinion are after the currently scheduled surgery date so there is no help there.  Further, we are blessed in that the doctor providing service is probably the best in the world, so any second opinion will pale in comparison.

It appears that my only alternative is to contact the medical providers and give them a copy of the court order and insist that they bill me directly for my portion of any uncovered costs.  Of course, I will need to make arrangements with the providers for a payment plan.  

I realize that there are no questions, but any comments you have will be appreciated.

Dear Socrateaser / Timing for Elective Surgery
« on: Mar 04, 2006, 10:55:40 AM »
Hello soc,


Custody – Joint Legal with Primary physical to Plaintiff

Child had medical condition at birth that required multiple corrective surgeries from age 3 months to age 6.  Since that point annual follow-up has taken place with no surgical procedures necessary.  

From age 6 to present there has been acknowledgement that some fine tuning would be necessary by age 17.  Fine tuning includes some cosmetic scar reductions and realignment of the nose.  Also revision of the nose hole to improve air flow.

NONE of the tuning is necessary because of imminent health issues or concerns and can take place at a convenient time up to age 17.  In my discutions with the doctor, later is better because head growth will have finished.

Dependant Child will turn 15 in the next month.  Plaintiff scheduled annual follow-up appointment and scheduled this surgery to take place within the next months.  

This was done without consulting the Defendant

Defendant is in tenuous financial situation due to downsizing and job loss.  In short there is no possibility of covering Defendants portion of any uninsured / uncovered costs arising out of this procedure.

Child maintains regular visitation with defendant and both sees and lives with the necessary lifestyle changes resulting from job loss and change in family income.

When surgery was discussed between doctor and Plaintiff, and child was present (as should be the case). At that time, the child raised the issue of defendant’s ability to pay and expressed concerns.  Over how defendant might pay.

There is no possible way Defendant can afford these expenses at this point in time.

CHild has also stated to Defendant that he is not certain he want to proceed because he does not know what he will do if he doesn't like the way the surgery turns out.

If family were in tact, there is no way the procedure would be considered at this time because of financials. AND there is no medical reason for the procedure to be performed now.  There are up to 2 more years.

Plaintiff has stated affirmatively that this time was chosen because it was most convenient for Plaintiff’s work schedule and is adamant in the decision to move foreword NOW.

State of Jurisdiction is MI

This surgery is not considered routine medical care and as such case law supports the fact that both parents should have a say in the procedure.

Plaintiff stated that costs could be as high as $13,000.  


1) How do I proceed to delay the procedure?  

2) Can I write letters to the Medical Providers and state that I am unable to pay any costs associated with the procedures and I was not consulted in the decision process and will not be liable for any charges?

3) Any suggestions on how to deal with the loose-loose situation I am in?  I am bad for demanding a delay and I will get bad credit marks if I do not pay.  

4) It is possible for the Plaintiff to move foreword and pay all uncovered costs and then in turn demand repayment under the court order in place splitting all such costs.   By that I mean that the current order states “ All uncovered / uninsured costs shall be split between the parties with Plaintiff paying XX% and Defendant Paying YY%.  Reimbursement for such out of pocket expenses shall be rendered to the paying party within 28 days of written notification of same..”  How can I protect myself from Plaintiff proceeding in this manner?

5) What is your opinion on haveing an open dicsussion with the child regarding the reasons I am asking for a delay?  Will the court look unkindly on me for engaging the child in that type of discussion?

Dear Socrateaser / Thank You - nm
« on: Jan 27, 2006, 06:24:28 PM »

Dear Socrateaser / Where is the legal line
« on: Jan 27, 2006, 12:53:56 PM »
Hello Soc,

     I have become successful is self representation thanks in latge part to your direct advice and input.  I say that I have become successful because, first I am winning and second, because, three times now attnys have approached me and asked me what firm i am working with.  

     The last time I was approached, after declairing that I am not an attny and am working pro per, the attny asked me for a contact number which I provided.  

     Today I received a call from that attny who asked me if i would be interested in doing research and document prep for estate planning and trusts.  Further discuyssion revealed that I would be interviewing clients, collecting information, then researching and preparing draft documents that would later be reviewed by the attny and ultimately filed as appropiate.  

     Suggested compensation was interesting, however, I am concerned that these activities may be bumping up against the line of practicing without a liscence.  

     All work will be reviewed by a liscensed attny, is that enough?  Work comes from Michigan, Indiana and Ohio.

so here is the question:  can a layman do all the work to prepare documents that will be filed in court under the supervision of a liscensed attny without crossing the legal line?

I hope the answer is yes ....

Blessings and Success



Dear Socrateaser / Extrodinary Medecal expenses
« on: Dec 19, 2005, 07:22:43 PM »
Hello Soc,

     Thank you in advance for your time.  State with jurisdiction is Michigan.  Issue is extraordinary health care expenses (dental in this case).

     Present order apportions payment for actual out of pocket responsibility for extraordinary health care expenses as Defendant (non custodial) 39% and Plaintiff (custodial) 61%.

     Child underwent orthodontic procedure.  Doctor billed each party separately.  Defendant was billed and paid 905.82 and plaintiff was billed and paid 992.50.  Subsequent to billing and payments, health care provider realized an error they made.  Said error was under billing health insurance company.  Provider has requested additional entitlement from insurance carrier in the amount approximating $233.

     Based on actual payments, defendant paid $165.48 over that which is established by the court order.  Note defendant was threatened with collections if the specified amount of 905.82 was not paid to the provider.

     Child required a root canal procedure durring orthodontic treatment.  Plaintiff paid entire amount of bill.  Plaintiff then submitted the uncovered expenses to defendant for reimbursement.  Defendant obligation (according to plaintiff and amount is not in dispute) amounted to 162.35.

     Defendant is stating that the overpayment to the first health care provider offsets the obligation to the second provider and the two amounts produce a small (3.13) credit to the defendant.

     Plaintiff asserts that the two matters are separate and is demanding payment forthwith.

Who is correct the plaintiff or the defendant?

Thank you in advance for your input


Note: these are not really big dollars, however, defendant lost employment and successfully defended against income imputation sought by plaintiff, and at this point, 160 dollars might as well be 160,000.  

Dear Socrateaser / Your Opinion Please
« on: Sep 20, 2004, 12:51:22 PM »
Good Day Soc!

Basic Background

Plaintiff in case opined below retained the same attny for all three actions.

Defendant in case discussed below retained the same attny durring divorce action and subsequent fraud and conversion action.  New Counsel was retained to defend against the malicious prosecution action discussed below.  

Following is the OPINION OF THE COURT exactly as written

The Plaintiff filed a complaint alleging malicious prosecution against the defendant, his ex-wife, after her prior suit against him was dismissed upon the granting of his motion for summary disposition.
She filed suit against him, claiming that he fraudulently converted insurance proceeds which were obtained after his radio controlled cars and related equipment were stolen from his vehicle during the pendency of the divorce and so she was entitled to all of the insurance money.

At the time the plaintiff was attempting to obtain these insurance proceeds, the defendant wrote a letter claiming no knowledge or interest in the claim because she recognized that the stolen property belonged to him. The Court determined that she recognized that she had no claim to the insurance proceeds and, by her actions, authorized him to proceed with the claim on her behalf.

Trial was held and the defendant's attorney in the divorce and the first lawsuit to recover all the insurance proceeds was deposed. He testified that despite the fact that the plaintiff s attorney faxed him a copy of the letter written to the insurance company by his client, the defendant, he thought that she was entitled to one half of the insurance proceeds. He further advised her that she should file the lawsuit for conversion. Upon his advise, she directed him to file the lawsuit.

The Court has the impression that a lot of hostility existed between the parties during the pendency of the divorce and continued after it was final.

The Court is not clear but could reasonably speculate that the defendant's divorce counsel assisted in fanning the flames rather than providing any kind of moderating influence. Clearly, his advise to her about the "fraudulent" insurance claim entitling her to all of the proceeds was dead wrong and promoted erroneous dreams of her obtaining more money from her ex-husband. His erroneous advise cost both parties substantial attorney fees.

However, the law in Michigan is clear. If a party proceeds with a lawsuit upon the advise of his attorney after revealing or discussing all the relevant facts, this defeats one of the necessary elements to establish a malicious prosecution, lack of probable cause. Leeseberg v Builders Plumbing Co, .6 Mich App 321,328-9 (1967); Drouillard v Metropolitan Life, 107 Mich App 608,620 (1981).

Clearly, the defendant's attorney knew about her posture and attitude at the time the insurance claim was filed, but advised her to proceed with the unwarranted lawsuit anyway.

In view of the defendant's former attorney's testimony at his deposition, the Court concludes that the plaintiff has not shown by a preponderance of evidence that the defendant lacked probable cause to bring the conversion lawsuit even though the prior ruling indicated that she had no legal basis for filing the claim.

Therefore, a judgment of no cause for action must enter


The court opined that Defendant waived attny client privilage when she advanced the advice of counsel defence and ordered that Plaintiff have the right to review all files regarding the divorce action and subsequent conversion suit.  

Durring trial and deposition, Defendant produced 13 documents into evidance which were not part of the files despite the fact that they were authored by the attny being deposed.  Further, correcpondance to the plaintiff's attny were also missing from the file suggesting that a purge took place.

The Judgement of divorce between the parties retained jurisdiction over property matters, yet defendant's first attny sought relief in circuit court.

When asked why that course of action was taken, he answered because he didn't think it was personal property.  Interestingly enough, durring the pendancy of the conversion trial, he sighted case law stating that a check is considered personal property of the desiginated payee(s)

Jurisdiction is MI


1) How do you interprate the language in the opinion regarding the defendant's first attorneys actions?

2) What actions do you suggest?

Pages: 12
Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.