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You are so right on that one.  And yes, my ss is like that.  He doesn't care we are still paying support, but his mother sure is.  

Back in June of 2005 when he graduated high school she sent us a letter stating "Final Bills for X" She nailed my husband for $350 worth of graduation expenses.  Technically, we were not obligated to pay the bills but then she sent us a nasty letter, certified mail that quoted my husband's support order in detail.  And a few years back instead of increases support monies (which she was entitled to) we decided to split some of the extra expenses for my stepson, like school clothes, lunch money, etc.  It is the etc. I get worried about.  But when we went to the lawyer they said the only thing we might be able to do is get the payee changed and have the support payments sent directly to ss instead of the mother.  He said it could cost us up to $5000 to go to court and do this, so we said, why bother.  Our ss will be 21 in about 18 months, so we figured it was better to just leave things alone until he turns 21, and then it can be terminated once and for all.

But you are right NYS sucks, for this reason exactly.  My husbands son graduated from high school, is not continuing on in school, is working full time, supporting himself, he has not lived with his mother for almost 2 years now, and the support monies go directly to her after they are garnished from his paycheck, we will have to go to Family Court to get it stopped.  

Alls I can say is the end is near but not soon enough.  I wish it could be now, but I guess we just have to deal with it for another 18 months.  But hey, what is another 18 months when we having been dealing with her lazy ass for the last 19 years

No, SS is not in college, he graduated in June 2005 and has been living on his own in his own apartment since the beginning of his senior year in high school.  He lives with his girlfriend, has not been under BM's control for a very long time.  We went to see our lawyer to see if we could get it terminated sooner, but he told us in NY it is til the child is 21.  He works full time and is not intending on continuing his education.  He moved down to North Carolina for about 3 months and just found he moved back cus he lost his job.  Him and his girlfriend are presently living with her parents now, so in a sense he really isn't on his own currently.  He won't be 21 for a little while but I think we have grounds for terminating upon his 21st birthday.  I know these things take awhile so we want to be prepared when it does happen.

Do you know the steps in getting it terminated.  I am sure we will have to go to Court and then once that happens we will probably have to get a new IE (Income Execution) instructing his employer to stop garnishing the support payments.

I can't tell you what a long awful road this has been for us.  All's I can say is the end is near, and we will be very glad to have this over.

Thanks,

We are looking for forms to fill out to terminate child support for my husband's son.  He is 20 years old and will be 21 real soon, and we want to get the paperwork in motion so not to hold up anything when he turns 21.  

I can't seem to find anything online, I looked at the county's Support Collection Unit website, but could not find anything.

Also what proof would we have to show that he has turned 21 and support should be terminated.  We do not have a copy of his birth certificate but I assume the Support Collection unit has his birthdate on record.  I know these things take time and I am assuming we will have to have the Family Court send us something that his support order is no longer valid or has been satisfied, etc. then we will need the court to issue a new Income Execution to stop payments being garnished from my husband's paycheck.

Any help anyone can give us would be wonderful.  

Thanks,

We have a bill that the mother sent us for his senior pictures and it has his name on the  bill and his address at the aparement he now lives in?  

Thank you so much for all your advice, we feel very prepared going into see the lawyer this Wednesday, I will post Thursday morning and let everyone know the outcome.

:)

Well thank you for your advice, it is just frustrating, both of us want this whole thing over with.  It has been 18 plus years of hell for us, we are just frustrated with the system.  She technically has not been following the court order and we never did anything for fear he would get nailed for more support.  So we just kept sending more and more money.  But now that the child is finished with school, out on his own, not living under her control any longer we just want this over with.

Yes, DH is just trying to prepare himself.  

They say if payments continue it is not wise to get them changed and have money sent directly to the child, for CS is for the mother to support that child and if you get it changed it could be considered a gift and you will still owe the mother the support and you could get yourself in trouble with arrears.

I found on the net that NY does not have a law in our state for emancipation, so does this mean we cannot have him amancipated?  

Thanks, Mom2boys

Hi all,

We go to see the lawyer on Wednesday to see if DH's support payments can be terminated.

Recap:  His son is 18 years old, soon to be 19 in 9 days from now.  He graduated from high school in June, is working a full time job, living in his own apartment with girlfriend, has not lived with his mother for 13 months.  On those grounds we want to see if we can get his court ordered support payments terminated on the grounds he is living outside the control of the custodial parent and supporting himself.  We are in New York by the way, and this state says you pay until the child is 21.  

I was getting all the paperwork together to take with us on Wednesday and my husband is being so difficult to talk to about this.  He is so negative, I know he does not like dealing with this, I hate it as much as he does.  But I am just trying to help so we know what we need to talk to the lawyer about when we go there for we only have 30 minutes.  Why is DH so afraid of his son's mother?  I have still to figure this one out, and we have been together almost 16 years.  They were never married.  He keeps saying with his luck they will probably say we pay no matter what til the kid is 21.  I wish I knew of some cases like ours that went our way so I could reassure him people can win cases like ours.  But he has had it with this woman and he just wants this whole thing over.  

She has bled him dry.  I think too he is afraid of if she catches wind that we are talking to a lawyer she will take him back to court and his support payment will get jacked up and we will have to sell things off to just be able to stay in our house.  Would a judge really award more money to a mother who the kid has not lived with her for the past 13 months and is living in his own place with his girlfriend?

I think we both are just nervous, if anyone knows of any cases that have been won like ours, please send them my way.

Thanks,
 

That is a great point.  For that matter, I can add him to our insurance, but the whole question is, if the child is not enrolled in school insurance coverage stops at the age of 19 years old.  I checked our policy for a basis and I cannot cover my children past their 19th birthday unless they are enrolled in full time school, either still in high school or in college.  

I guess if they say support has to continue until he is 21 years old, maybe we can have the insurance part taken out of the support order since neither us or his mother can cover him any longer.  I don't know, we will find out the answers soon enough, I just hope they will declare him amancipated and be done with this.

Thanks for all your advice....

:)

Mom2boys

thank you for your response.  The "Child" in question is 18 years old, just graduated from high school last month.  Is NOT continuing on in college, working full time, living on his own in his own apartment with his girlfriend.

My DH's support order reads that the mother is to cover the child on her health insurance and the father (my husband) is to pay for the portion to cover the child.  This constitutes, I beleive, a few extra dollars added to his support payment.  

My question is this, the child will only be able to be covered under the mothers health insurance for a few more weeks until he is 19 years old in August.  In the state of NY, it states that we pay support until he is 21 years old, which, by the way I think is a crock, but anyways, if this is true and we will find this out next week when we visit the lawyer, if the child is working full time and has his own insurance, does the NCP have to pay his % share of the uninsured medical bills until he is 21, and if the job the son has does not have insurance, does that mean the NCP has to pay his % share of the premium to cover him, plus the % of uninsured medical until he is 21.

We are going to see a lawyer to see if we can get support payments terminated on the grounds that he has not lived under his mothers control in the last 13 months, has graduated from high school, is living in his own apartment, and paying his own bills, and working full time and has no intention on going onto college.

What do you think our chances are?  

we don't have a copy of his son's birth certificate.  How do we request one?  

Also we do not have his diploma, I assume we can call the school and request a copy of one or a letter stating that he graduated.

Anything else we should be thinking about?

Thanks,

What happens when in your support order it states.

Mother is ordered to cover the child with health insurance, and it is further ordered that the father is to pay 50% of the premium to cover "just the child"  portion of the mothers policy.

What happens when the child graduates from high school, and is 19 years old and cannot be covered under the mom's policy anymore, is the father obligated to pay for 50% of the premium to cover the child.  This child in question is done with high school, working a full time job.  

Thanks,