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Messages - BellaDi

Pages: 12 3
1
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Evaluation
« on: Dec 16, 2005, 05:39:02 PM »
THank you very much!! I guess that I am so nervous, I just want to be prepared as possible....My daughters happiness IS truly the only thing that matters to me! As long as I let the evaluator see that, that is all that matters

2
Dear Socrateaser / Evaluation
« on: Dec 16, 2005, 01:35:49 PM »
I have asked you a question in the past in regards to evaluations. I have now attended my first meeting, and my ex finally attended his this week. I just received a call from the doctor that states my ex, I, and his new wife all have a meeting this coming Tuesday.

#1. Is it normal for us all to be in a meeting together?

#2 Is the purpose in this to see if we can get along together for the best interest of my daughter?

3
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Evaluation question!!
« on: Nov 25, 2005, 09:19:17 AM »
I just wanted to thank you for all of your help! Your advice is invaluable!

I went to my evaluation today, and the Dr. was extremely wonderful!

He said that he is going to recommend the following things.

#1. I do not have any contact with the Smom, being as she is the one frustrating the visitation. That I speak with my ex, and him with him only. But, that for the time being he feels my contact should be limited to my daughter.

#2. he suggested I purchase a cell phone with only my number can be called.

#3. He is going to recommend immediate visitation. That he does not see any reason why I should have even had to come to his office for the evaluation, and that I am clearly not a destructive mother!

#4. He also gave me the number to a lawyer, that he said he highly recommends I retain. That she is one of his good friends, and to just tell her that he referred me!!

All in all, I feel it went wonderfully. My ex, and his wife have already made and cancelled two appointments with him!!  I just wanted to thank you for all of your advice. It helped me to be comfortable, prepared and helped me to accurately and calmly explain my position and desire!

4
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Evaluation question!!
« on: Nov 21, 2005, 01:07:30 PM »
It's not up to the sMom or the evaluator. If you don't want
>the sMom involved, then you can reasonably refuse to
>participate in mediation until she leaves, because sMom is not
>a party or an attorney in your case.
>
>If sMom wants to participate, then she should agree to be
>joined as a Party, and to be legally responsible for the
>child's custody AND SUPPORT.


#1.  In regards to this response: If she be legally joined as a party does that mean that she will have legal rights to my daughter, or just to the current case?

#2. To rephrase my question: The Evaluation Guide it seems is written in the context that the couple in evaluation is currently in the midst of the divorce. My ex and I are already divorced. If there is no divorce issue pending will the evaluator still ask for collateral contacts (or this this only when there is a divorce still pending)  in regards to issues having to deal with my daughter, and any other issues they have question about?

5
Dear Socrateaser / Evaluation question!!
« on: Nov 21, 2005, 10:58:43 AM »
Okay, to give you some background in regards to my issue. My ex has had custody of my daughter (age 7 almost 8) for the last two years. I had custody for the first five years.  He is remarried, and up until the point he got remarried we got along just fine. I allowed him to see our daughter whenever he requested, and in most cases would drive my daughter eight hours to see her father. (we lived in seperate states at the time). Now we have a reasonable and liberal custody arrangement, that due to the new wife is not working at all. I have requested for a modification and the judge has ordered an evaluation before he makes any decisions. My first visit is this Friday, and there's is the following week.

The sMom will not allow me to talk to my husband at all in regards to our daughter, she denies me all visits, communication, and any request to see my daughter. She states since she is the one that takes care of my daughter I will speak with her and not my husband. If I write my husband a letter, she calls me to respond not him. She is verbally abusive to me, and just downright nasty.

My questions are as follow:

#1. The Smom has decided that she needs to sit in on all evaluations with my ex, and be a part of them. Will the evaluator allow this, and if so will he include her in his report (generally speaking)? Also, if he does will the judge consider this in his decision making? The reason that I ask is because she has a very controlling personality, and I believe narcissistic,  and I have a firm belief that if she included she will make it known by her attitude and actions that she is the one that is truly causing the frustration of the relatioship between my daughter and I.  

#2.  During the evaluation with my daughter, does it normally span several sessions where he will encourage her to talk about all of her feelings, and will allow her time to open up..Or is the most emphasis generally placed on the "play sessions" and psychological tests? My reason for asking is I am scared that based on things my daughter has been told, by the Smom that when it comes time for the play time she is not going to want to participate with me.

#3. In this type of setting since a divorce has already been established will they still require/allow collateral contact to be given?

I love my daughter very much, and all of this is just very difficult. I just want what is truly best for my daughter. I know she deserves, and needs both parents in her life. Any answers you can give would be greatly appreciated. I have already read the Evaluation Guide and that was extremely helpful.




6
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Went to contempt hearing today
« on: Nov 03, 2005, 08:00:32 PM »
I know that you warned me, and if I had the money I certainly would have gotten one!! You were right!! I will do whatever it takes now to get one.


So, #1 if I post the transcripts here, you can tell me what they actually mean?!

#2 I just found out that my childs psychologist is actually just her school guidance counselor..They never actually told the judge that today, just that she was a child psychologist? Not sure if that makes a difference.

7
Dear Socrateaser / Went to contempt hearing today
« on: Nov 03, 2005, 06:48:38 PM »
Okay, so let me start by saying the best piece of advice anyone can ever give is do not go pro se if you absolutely do not have to! Scrape together every penny to get an attorney!!

I went to my contempt hearing today against my ex. Not only did the judge NOT even rule on the contempt, but he would not rule on the modification order either. Instead he stated that we all have to go talk to my daughters psychologist first. Which, I have nothing to hide, so that is fine with me! So long as the end result is my daughter and I get to have a relationship. There was no allegations of abuse, drug use, neglect, of alcohol abuse (cause there is none of those). Here are my two questions.

#1 The lawyer served me with an affidavit today that they were requesting I pay all attorney and court costs. Do I need to reply to this affidavit, or should the judge have ruled on this today?!

#2 The psychologist that they want us all to see has already been seeing my daughter for a year and a half, and is her school counselor. Therefore for the last year and half she has also had a working relationship with my ex and his new wife. Should I agree to see this psychologist, or request a new impartial one?

I am feeling very defeated, but refuse to give up the right to see my daughter! I feel that it will only do her severe emotional harm if she is not permitted to have a relationship that is loving and stable with both her dad, and I!!

Thanks again!

8
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Court Hearing Tomorrow
« on: Nov 02, 2005, 04:38:23 PM »
Thank you very much for all of your advice. As I had stated, I really do not care about winning or losing, making him look bad, or him getting fined. I simply want to see my daughter!  So, once again thank you for all of your help and answers. I figured it would be very hard for them to be found in contempt in court, but at least the judge will give consideration to my modification request.

I submitted a very specific request. Which outlines, weekends, mothers day, odd numbered years, even numbered years, pick up and drop off of child, clothing, phone calls, and school events. I think I covered everthing that I could.

Can't thank you enough for the service you provide!

9
Dear Socrateaser / Court Hearing Tomorrow
« on: Nov 02, 2005, 03:06:32 PM »
I want to thank you in advance for reading this request.

Here is a basic overview. My ex and I have been divorced for four years. Everything was going fine until he got remarried. The new wife is not allowing me to see, talk to, or write my daughter. She will not give my daughter any cards or letters I send.

I have filed for contempt of court orders, and a request for modification of the exisiting orders. Being as they currently state reasonable and liberal, which my ex does not interpret the same way. He considers reasonable meaning I never get to see her.

Our court date is tomorrow. I have it very well documented as to the dates and instances he has denied visitations. As well, as affidavits and witnesses. I really do not care if he gets held in contempt, as long as the judge will approve a modification so that I can see my daughter.

Question #1.  Is there any last minute advice you can give me about going to court tomorrow. I am more nervous than words can explain. But, I have researched and prepared to the best of my ability.

Question #2. Is the judge gonna allow my ex and his new wife to go on about what a horrible person they think I am (i do not do drugs, have stable employment, stable long term relationship, etc etc), or is this going to be a simple this is why he is in contempt, and he defends why he is not?

Question #3. Where is a good source of case law history that I can review cases in my state of similiar cases, which would be SC.

10
Parenting Issues / PAS
« on: Oct 28, 2005, 02:58:04 PM »
I am having an extreme amount of trouble with my ex, but most with my child's stepmother! I believe that my daughter is being subjected to PAS, and I want to know what procedure I would need to go through to have my daughter PAS specialized child psychologist. Is it best to address this issue in court, or can I take her to an independant psychologist?!? My daughter was told that if she wanted to come live with me she could, but she better say goodbye to all her brother, her bedrooms, all her toys, and all the sports she is in because I could not afford them...She was also reprimanded for taking some pictures of me to school, and when her stepmother found out she had done this she ripped up some of the cards and pictures my daughter had of me! To me this is beyond comprehension. ANy suggestions in regards to the PAS? or her being tested/seen for this?

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