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I do think that if the ex stays home voluntarily and is supported by spouse then they take that into consideration. Also if they are redoing CS they will take your new amount and not the old....even though she quit her job your percentage owed still goes down becsaue your totals togther is less. It will probably balance out.

Best part is none of it is a right off for the dads but the mothers dont have to claim it either...bullshit if you ask me.

I am the fiance of a dad going through this...any advice? We have court in Frederick County in three weeks

Is anyone else going through this in MD?

Best advice, ask for a lot and barter for more reasonable later.
Definately get a good lawyer and know that you can file for an emergency order to see your kids. Its a long journey, we started 18 months ago in Frederick County

What???
There was never an order in place we have been fighting for the visitation this whole time. The only thing that is written now is a temporary order until the trial. There was never anything to change before we just didnt see her at all b/c BM wouldnt let us so at the pendente lite hearing they set it up for every other weekend and Wednesday overnight. We dont care about the child support, she does we just want more time. But I just want to make sure that you understand we arent taking her BACK to court this is from when we filed a year and a half ago.

I have seen you give some advice to people so I figured I
would give it a try. We dont really have a messy case other
than, my fiance, the BF wants more time with his daughter, but
the BM will not agree to give it to him becasue her child
support will be cut in half.

(We have her 114 nights a year and
you have to have the child 128 nights a year for shared
physical custody). She makes $75000 a year he makes $50000,
but ours continues to go up as she makes more even though he
makes the same.
Thanks Sunshine

I am not sure who thought of the ssasi-calcwhich MD uses but they were a freakin idiot!! Every child isworth the same they shouldnt get more or less depending on if their parent is rich....for example my friend only receives$23 a week for her son yet we pay $709 a month that is crazy,
both children need the same thing.

Suggestion: even from a female perspective CP should have to prove where the money is sent. All I really want to know is we truly want to
see our girl more. We get 8 days a month with her and we live 10 miles
away, she is 18months old so she is not in school.

We dont have a lot of money but we will sell our house if we have to.

1)will a judge be likely to grant more visitation in our
situation?

2) Neither parent is bad they dont have records or
anything they just cant agree. Is it worth the risk?

That will come in really handy...we actually have the pretrial today so I am not sure what is supposed to happen there but I will keep you posted when I return. Are you in MD?

I am new to this forum thing so I will try to be brief...
I am the new stepmother (SM) of an 18month old little girl.

How it all began....
A one night stand, then I met my fiance two weeks later.
We found out together two months later she was pregnant, we knew her reputation so he told her that when the baby was born he would pay for a DNA test, which is exactly what we did. She was his so they tried to reach an agreement. I think the BM thought it was going to be easy b/c he has never gone through this before. She drew up these papers saying she had sole legal and primary physical custody and told him his CS would be $875 a month. Well we may not know much but I knwo that my fiance is only a construction worker and could never afford that. So we offered her free daycare (through his mom who did daycare) and $400 a month. She said no this went back and forth and finally around thanksgiving we told her after the holidays  we would get attorneys. She filed and we counter filed. We did the mediation thing and there is was no compromising we were asking for everyother weekend until MOnday morning and every Wednesday night. In MD that puts you over the # of days needed to have shared physical custody so she gave us everything but the everyother Sunday night. We had this lawyer who talked us into signing a pendnte lite agreement without the Sunday nights and he told us just to wait till the trial and we would get the Sunday nights (we signed this in late Oct. and the trial is next month so its about 5 1/2 months) Our lives have been completely governed she took the whole sole custody thing to a new level. We didnt even uderstand what it was until we started getting our "strikes". Anyway I would love to tell everything but I am sure everyone has heard it and been through it. I am trying to be supportive, but I feel like my feelings are being forgotten about. I stayed with my fiance through all this and I know he loves me, we are to be married in June. But I am 23 and I just finished college I dont know how to comfort him. In all honesty his daughter is his life and I come second. Which i was jealous about at first but now i feel really lucky to know that he will love our kids that much. I guess my question is what are our chances of getting more time with her???? we dont have records, we are pretty normal I guess we just dont want to fight anymore.  I am afraid to become to attached to her b/c if something ever happened to him I know I dont have any rights.  We just want more time what are our chances???We live in MD

PS Are there any support groups out there for step-parents, I am not good at expressing my self in person so are there any online groups?

How much vacation time were you awarded and what is your current agreement?

Gosh, your story feels like deja vue for me...I am the fiance to the same situation. My fiance had a one night stand and two weeks later we met.  Two months later she said she was pregnant, well we waited the seven months with no contact with her and when we knew she had the baby we called and set up dna test. It came back his, we thought things were going to be fine in the beiginning, but when she came to us with "her" version of the custody agreement we knew it was going to be hard. Basically it said she had everything and we could visit if she said it was okay. We took it to an attorney and he said unless we didnt care that she have everything we shouldnt sign it. So when we asked her for some changes it started. We didnt get to see the baby until she was 6 months because BM said we couldnt unless we came to her home. Finally my fiance wanted to see his baby so he gave in and did this for three months. Come to find out we didnt have to - you need a lawyer to do this but there is an emergency contempt order you can file that is almost like a retraining order for the mother from the father.  Advice: get a lawyer right away and have him file for sole custody, if there is no order in place who ever has possession of the child can keep her. For example: if your boyfriend gets the chance to leave the home with the child he has physical custody of her. I am not recommending this in all cases but its just to explain that right now NOONE has custody and noone has decision making power. Definatley get a lawyer- you'll have to have one, document everything- when he visits, what she says to him, and if she refuses his visitation. Believe it or not this will count against her. It sux, it's expensive and it has taken 18 months for us to get a court date. But we now have every other weekend overnight and wed overnight. We rarely even see the BM b/c we drop baby off a t daycare. If BM is like this now she is going to fight over everything but you need to choose your battles. Tell your boyfriend to stand up for himself trust me i know how hard it is to do this but really she cant tell you what to do and she cant legally take your child away just cause she wants to. Its a long process but unless youwant her controlling your every move for the next 18 years you need to go to court


What state are you in>?

are you fighting for sole or willing to share?