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Messages - kachirired

Pages: 1
Dear Socrateaser / To sign or not to sign.....
« on: Jun 26, 2006, 01:47:28 PM »
I am going to court for the first time on Wednesday in VA for custody/visitation, paternity, child support etc.  (I already got the paternity test and thankfully he is my son.)

I have 2 questions:
A) If I am representing myself and I don’t get joint/legal/shared parenting then I don’t have to sign the judge’s order so that I can appeal, correct?  

B) I live more than 100 miles from my son.  I read in the “Father’s Emergency Guide to Divorce and Custody” that I can ask for a reduction in child support for travel and long distance call expenses but it didn’t say what percent it could be reduced.  Any idea?

Thank you

Father's Issues / RE: What to expect..
« on: Jun 13, 2006, 01:40:29 PM »
My husband got the hearing after he went to mediation and asked for a paternity test.

We have met with one attorney so far.  I am sure you are all to aware they are soooooo expensive.  We finally were able to sell my husbands house so will be better able to hire an attorney next month.  Is it possible to ask the jduge for a continuation to get more time to hire an attorney?  

Thank you!

Father's Issues / RE: What to expect..
« on: Jun 13, 2006, 01:32:01 PM »
I definitely understand and will not be speaking in court unless the judge asks me a question.  I do try to stay out of their conversations etc. I am doing to postings just as leg work for my husband because he works nights.

We will be going to court at the end of this month to get a court ordered agreement and establish, the amount of child support, taxes, visitation, custody, communication etc.

After almost 9 years the mother got mad at my husband and blurted out that he isn’t their sons father and later told her who the other potential father could be. We just got the paternity tests back and he is definitely my husband’s child. (For the child’s sake we are pleased with the results.)

 They started in mediation which didn’t last but 5 minutes because my husband asked for a paternity test but the mediator told both of them since there is no court order my husband can see the child any time.

After mediation we went to see his son and her mother came to the door, wouldn’t let my husband see his son and told him that his son was inside crying because you said you didn’t want to be his father anymore.  First, this isn’t true at all, second, nothing from mediation was suppose to be repeated especially to the child and I heard the entire conversation from the car.  We can prove all of it if the judge asks the child.  Will his son be in the court room?  Will the judge ask their son any questions?

Is it possible for my husband to get a court ordered attorney?

Thank you!

Father's Issues / RE: What to expect..
« on: Jun 13, 2006, 11:09:52 AM »
Thank you I will put a post on the Socrateaser's board.

I will answer your questions below;

What kind of custody is currently in place?  
  The mother has primary custody and there has never been a court order other than child support years ago which she went right back to court and stopped that because things were going fine.

What kind of visitation is currently in place?  
  Visitation is dependent on the mothers mood.  We were suppose to have visitation over Memorial Day weekend and she got mad, hung up and told their son that my husband didn’t want to see their child so we didn’t get to see him.

How far away do you live from the child?
  We live 2-3 hours away.

What kind of arrangement are you looking to get?
  We will be seeking at least joint custody but preferably full custody.

What conditions are occuring with the mother that make you believe it is not in the child's best interest to continue living in his normal environment?
A) The mother tells her son that my husband doesn’t love him, doesn’t want to see him, doesn’t want to be his dad etc.  
B)  His son doesn’t have his own room or his own bed.  He is 9 and sleeps with his mother or her brother.
C)  We question his living conditions.  He has told my mother in law he used to sleep on the floor where a dog urinated on him or they left the urine on the floor where he slept and we have taken pictures of the house with bags of garbage just laying in the yard.
D)  She is only working part time at a movie rental company and isn’t looking to move out of her parents house or improve their sons quality of life.

How has the father exercised visitation over the years?
  For over 3 years his ex-girlfriend and his son lived with either him or his parents so he saw him on a daily basis for 3-6 months and over those 3 years saw him when he visited which was probably every few months.  

Is the phone contact he is being denied part of a court order?
  No- there is no court order yet although she has agreed via email to several things including taxes, visitation, phone calls etc. but has not been abiding by the agreement.

Do you have an attorney? If so, I would think that as your representative, he/she should at least give you an idea of what the score is ahead of time.
  We do not have an attorney at this point.

Thank you

Father's Issues / What to expect..
« on: Jun 13, 2006, 09:34:41 AM »
I am looking for information on what we should bring to court in VA and what we should expect from our first meeting with the judge.   We will be discussing child support, custody, visitation etc.
My husbands was not married to his son's mother.  His son is 9 years old.  We feel his son would be better off with us for a few main reasons, A) The schools in our area are much better according to SOL results
B) His son is 9 and doesn't have his own room or his own bed.  He either sleeps with his mother or her brother.
C) The mother doesn't seem to have her sons best interest in mind.  She tells her son that his father doesn't love him and doesn't want to see him which is far from the truth.

My husband pays support every month, calls his son every week but often calls aren't returned, she hangs up or if she doesn't get what she wants she hangs up.
Are there any father support groups in the Hampton Roads, VA area?

What should we bring to court and what questions should we be prepared for?
Any assistance is appreciated.
Thank you

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