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Messages - ocean

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General Issues / Re: Divorce Temporary Orders
« on: Jul 15, 2018, 05:26:59 PM »
Some states you can get a legal separation on paper through the courts and if you agree you can both go to a lawyer and have it written up. Custody of kids(joint?), visitation schedule, holiday and vacation schedule, joint accounts need to be closed and split, all debts need to be dealt with, and child support order put into place. If you can agree to all the above great, but yes you both should go to a free one hour consult with your own lawyer to make sure you are both protected.

When is the dna test? Who is requesting info in 30 days? Do you have a court date?
Fill out the paperwork and bring it to court in a folder. Leave it there until the judge asks for it and then you can say you will give info about your financials as soon as test comes back positive you are the father. That you are willing to support child if child is yours. If her lawyer is asking for it, ignore and follow above.....Most child support courts ask you to bring a notorized paper about salary and money but many times they do not ask for it until the end to decide child support amounts.

At the same time, you should file for temporary joint custody in the event you are the father or at the very least have that paperwork ready to go and when you find out you can file it to be added to case.
Good luck! (not a lawyer, just years of experience in family court).

Custody Issues / Re: Show cause?
« on: Apr 23, 2018, 03:32:34 PM »
Pick you battles..... ask to meet him before child does (next week) and you will let it go. The time you get into a hearing it will be over the 6 months and the money spent to do it would be a waste. Meet him and if he seems okay then just keep the evidence for next set of issues. Hopefully he has positive influences on BM. Good luck!

Custody Issues / Re: How Do You Terminate A Mothers Rights?
« on: Apr 17, 2018, 02:52:10 PM »
Call the local DA office and ask for the DA in charge of case to talk to. Ask the DA if they can get you the RO for child with the evidence they have. At the same time your  lawyer should be filing for an emergency hearing with RO attached to stop visits until this can be sorted out with the DA. How can you send child in the middle of all this. Is the mother requesting to see child as scheduled? An emergency hearing happens that day without mother in court. The court/judge will see your evidence (police reports) and decide right then if they will give the RO and emergency custody with no visits or supervised visits. Ask your lawyer about doing that way or else you will be waiting a few weeks to get into court. Good luck!

Custody Issues / Re: How Do You Terminate A Mothers Rights?
« on: Apr 16, 2018, 02:55:41 PM »
It is almost impossible to terminate a mother's rights in this country. Your lawyer or even better the DA should have filed a restraining order on both mom and boyfriend until the case goes to trial. Call the district attorney and ask for a restraining order for your child and press for charges. Is CPS involved in all in this case?
Also, you lawyer should be asking if/when visits restart that they be at a supervised center or counseling session. Supervised centers are around in each state where a non-family member watches the visit. Sometimes the parent is ordered to pay for this service so she may have to come up with money for the visits.
Another angle is the school. Use them. Have them document everything with the school nurse if child is sent back over to her house. When she comes in dirty, is homework done on mom's days, is she late or absent on mom's days. They are mandated to call CPS if they see any above issues.

DO you have a new court order ever giving you custody? Sounds like your lawyer is doing this now since mom just gave her to you last time. The only time I have seen a mother lose custody is when the same judge keeps seeing major abuse. Document it all. Do you have contact with the other kids fathers? You can talk to them too and have them document and call CPS if their kids come dirty or other abuse.

Good luck!

Mom has not seen child in a year and filed for custody now? No visits, nothing?

Will she pass this year? Keep working with the school and be on top of missed classwork and homework. You can have the teacher do a simple check sheet to bring home each day to you about the day, if she handed in work, homework, finished classwork. Handing in classwork and homework is not on the teacher and you should be on top of her for things she can control and consequences for when she doesn't. This custody trial will never be over before school ends this year. Keep doing what you are doing and out off one of the hearings and this year will be over and as long as she passed to move to the next grade it should be fine. The real issue should be why she wants custody if she has not see child ......Also, find out when you can sign child up for the new school, middle school makes schedules already for next school year. Get her enrolled with a schedule you can bring to court and state you kept her there as the counselor advised until the end of the school year.

Visitation Issues / Re: NC Mom refusing to allow visit
« on: Mar 30, 2018, 07:36:57 AM »
Do you have anything written in the court order that states how much or when you get visitation? How old is child?

I understand your job hours are an issue but you can ask the courts to set visitation times/days or some people have something written like "no less than 3 hours after school each week and one weekend a month" or "father will give mother a month notice by the 1st of each month on the weekend he will exercise his parenting rights".

As for this weekend, never tell her ahead of time even the child. Just say to child, we are going to have fun this weekend celebrating easter, cant wait to see you. If older child, just say, dont worry we will have fun with family. As for ex, text "I will be picking xx up on xx at xx time for easter weekend as previously discussed and agreed." then ignore all other texts, save them all. Go pick child up and see what happens. If you do not have concrete court order than police will not help you if she refuses to let child go. Get a police report that she is refusing to allow child to go then file in court. Let phone calls go to voicemail and keep voicemails.

You can file in family court next week yourself if you want for modification of visitation to include specific dates/times as mother is not allowing visits. Your visits is your parenting time and she can not dictate it but may need the courts to tell her this. As for you getting half parenting custody that will probably never happen through the courts if it was not agreed upon in the divorce. You can get a schedule and ask for whatever time you can get off of work. Courts will not get your new GF involved and your ex can not dictate what you do on your parenting time. Good luck!

Custody Issues / Re: Okay to Ask?
« on: Feb 28, 2018, 04:13:53 PM »
No, I do not think she should show you her medical records but you can ask "we know you have surgery tomorrow, regarding the exchange on xx, who will be driving child x to the exchange spot?"
Is it far, can you offer to pick up at curb side for a few weeks? You can say, we are willing to come to house , curb side and you can send xx out to car at 4pm.
Good luck!

Also, ask for court ordered counseling with you and the kids if it is really bad. This will get them in a room with you at least and a person who can steer the direction and get them talking without mom interrupting.
As far as finding a lawyer, go to family court and sit and watch in waiting room. Some courts are even open (by law as long as you are not going to testify you can be in the room too but many dont have chairs or set up to handle it). Watch and see who is good with other clients. You can also call a few lawyers and have a free or small fee first meeting and interview them. If you interview them, your ex can never use them, tactic some use.

DO you have a court date already? If not, you can file yourself too at family court for visitation only (Before you file for divorce as divorce may take years......). Family court will be cheaper and then you can take that order and merge it into the divorce later. This will get your ex out of the visitation conversation if there is a set schedule when to see them. Also email or text your ex once or twice a week asking "I miss the kids and they need both their parents in their life,  when can you meet me to see them, maybe at the library or mcdonald for an hour? Let me know which day would be good." This gives you documentation to show you are trying with your ex. If the kids are old enough to have cell phones or social media...text them "dad love you, call anytime"  " how was school, just checking on you, love dad".  You can send them things in the mail, or drop off if ex allows....Valentines day package ?   If ex answers meanly, ignore, screen shot it, save messages.
Good luck!

Custody Issues / Re: Meaning?
« on: Jan 26, 2018, 03:52:21 PM »
Not sure but prob just making her statement for future court dates (not necessarily that they will appeal or go to next level just that she does not agree with this new order).
Why did she have to sign??? Wasn't a judges order/decision? Weird, here we get decision and that is it, no one signs as it went to judge for a decision and not an agreement between the parties.
Also sounds that she will not appeal now as she prob should have written, do not agree and will be appealing to go to next court?"
My husband taught me (but took years for me to get), deal with what you have in front of you now. You won, as long as she is following new order who cares. Deal with the next blow when it happens, for now...enjoy life...cant always be about court.

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