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Messages - ocean

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Custody Issues / Re: Custody Change
« on: Sep 24, 2018, 03:37:50 PM »
Change of custody is very hard to do but if you are moving and possible, move into same school district as child. Then you can go back to court and ask for more time as you are now in same school district- maybe win the time grandma has him during week. Maybe split custody. Once you move, keep track of where he is on which days. Document. Also, do you have a relationship with other father? You can ease SS mind but saying that dad and you guys are friends and he will always get to see his siblings.
Does mom have any outstanding charges now?
Start being involved at school and when you move even more. Educational neglect can be called by the school to DCF for grades and absences. Keep documenting and when you go back for time in your petition you can list why the father wants more time especially during the school week. Also if you go back to court, have it written that mom will not move school districts without consent of father....

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 19, 2018, 03:00:36 PM »
Look up your state "motion to dismiss" fill it out and file it yourself at the clerk office. This way the judge must rule on it, verbal they can just say no and move on without a written reason why....

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 08, 2018, 01:09:36 PM »
Our lawyer did a verbal dismissal the day of court but I would not do that again, tell lawyer to write up an dismissal paperwork and file it right away, this way judge has to rule on it in some way and give reason why/why not.

Child Support Issues / Re: Unclaimed funds?
« on: Sep 08, 2018, 10:39:56 AM »
Sounds like the state still has the child support case open. Mom still owes the money even though child is 19. They will keep trying to get money from mom until she pays in full or it goes to court again to get changed. Looks like they found money in unclaimed account they can take and it will be put into the child support account. (Maybe old settlement, or past taxes that were owed but never cashed check...something like that). He can call the state child support hotline and ask or go their office. My state you can log into your own account and see what is owed and any payments made to account.

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 07, 2018, 03:21:01 PM »
Does it go before same judge? Here sometimes the judge has ruled on it without even having one hearing. Few years back, our judge just wrote "this was already addressed and mother has not shown change of circumstance" and dismissed it. The only way we knew about it was by watching our account online. Maybe put in an office dismissal paperwork so judge has to rule on it and you put your reason, "custody was only decided 8 months ago and no change of circumstance has occurred in either home"

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 06, 2018, 05:20:27 PM »
It is good she is getting back on track so take it anyway it comes. Go to the co-parenting class. Maybe ask to meet with the provider once by yourselves first so you can see what this is about and how you were betrayed by mom and give your side of story to provider.

Starting Pre-k is a big change for many kids and takes a few weeks to get into schedule so that is not so uncommon. If she is not listening to teacher or big outbursts make a behavior chart at home and tell GD that if her teacher says she was good today , she can come home and do xyz (food, snack, game, stop on way home at x) but if she doesn't then she can not do it. Stick with it. After a few days of rewards, tell GD that she needs 3 happy faces and then she can get xyz. Up the anti as she starts settling in.

Keep documenting dates/times mom says inappropriate things to child. Do you have a GAL for child? Tell GAL. Is the court going to entertain a custody petition since is has not even been a year?

Few things....1. You can file and represent yourself in court for free in most states for a small filing fee. You would need to start where the last set of court was. Usually they have intake -petition office that will give you the paperwork you need and depending on state they may even type it up for you. Some states have the forms online that you can print out yourself.
2. What does the court order stay about pick up and drop offs...If she is refusing to follow order, go get son and then call her to come her to come get him since you drove to her to get him. Do this after you get him so she allows him to come. Not sure if this is an issue anymore.
3. I am surprised child support was changed after original order as usually they do not allow to "state shop" for the best deal. Some states have child support to 21 so this stops parents from moving to those states just to get 3 more years of child support.

4. You have a few options for court- Child support- file yourself to drop daughters and just have son. Should stay in last place you had child support order. CHild support is usually straight forward and can do yourself and save money.

5. Custody- Very hard to get changed so be proactive. 1, Get involved with new school as much as possible. Look online parent portals at school district to watch attendance, lates, grades.
1. Possible ask to have him tested for OT skills and if he needs it a full educational testing. He may be able to qualify for services through the district if he is behind. 3. Call a lawyer and see if you have enough that she never took job in NC but not sure if there is a reality of making her move back but maybe asking that child move back or to you....hard one, going to cost lawyer fees for that....go for a consultation with lawyer and pay them an hour just to ask questions. A lot you can do yourself if you put in the work.

6. I get you want to do the right thing because your son still lives there but need to start cutting cord soon. Last child is 12, so in 5.5 years you are done financially with her at least child support wise.
Good luck !

Child Support Issues / Re: CHILD SUPPORT
« on: Aug 15, 2018, 06:43:42 AM »
When was the last court order for child support? It should be over 3 years in order for the judge to hear it unless ex can prove a change of circumstance. Usually taking a lower paying job will not allow child support to be reduced. Look online/local papers for jobs that ex used to have to prove ex could still get a job or a second job in his expertise area. Bring the local job openings to court to show he can get other jobs. Lack of hours means ex can have get another job during those hours. You may qualify for legal aid at family court. Ask for their number or you can represent yourself. Really depends what state you are in and the judge's mood that day. Act appropriately, and calmly and say "i understand ex hours were reduced but ex can apply to these other jobs that are available in our area or get a second job to help raise our child/ren." If you are paying daycare, maybe ex can watch child to save money. Good luck!

Child Support Issues / Re: Over 50% of income garnished
« on: Aug 13, 2018, 06:05:46 AM »
It sounds like you were behind in some payments so they are garnishing more money to make it up? Depends on the state but in my state you can not file a change for 3 years unless there is a major change since the last time the order was made. Was there an order that your ex pay the mortgage during this time? Is the mortgage in your name?

General Issues / Re: Divorce Temporary Orders
« on: Jul 15, 2018, 05:26:59 PM »
Some states you can get a legal separation on paper through the courts and if you agree you can both go to a lawyer and have it written up. Custody of kids(joint?), visitation schedule, holiday and vacation schedule, joint accounts need to be closed and split, all debts need to be dealt with, and child support order put into place. If you can agree to all the above great, but yes you both should go to a free one hour consult with your own lawyer to make sure you are both protected.

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