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I wanted to update on what has happened since the last post so long ago, but first wanted to say thank you for all the advice.

Son is doing alright, is still with father. They have moved to NM and are now only 10 hours away. But my son is now having problems, of the personal nature. The ex and I are trying to work together to help him get through this.

The ex's wife is now his ex and is currently serving a 5 yr sentence for First degree Aggrivated Child Abuse. My son is safe.

My only concern is trying to modify the visitations with my son so that I can see him more. I get to have phone visitation's twice a week and more if I want. I get him three times a year, Spring Break, Summer, and every other Christmas (Christmas' he does spend with me I get him for the second week of vacation). All visits are for only one week, no more.

I want to thank everyone for thier help and advice.

Alisa

Thank you!

I have contacted my son's therapist mulitpul times and she has yet to return my calls, What do I do?

Yes, the ex's spouse was arrested for abusing my son. I have been watching her case closely. It seems she had children from another marriage and her ex now has custody of them.

I am just at my wits end with what I can do. My ex has taken advantage of me since the begining and now that I am no longer fearful of him I have to start doing somehting. I am afraid of losing my son.

Alisa

Thank you for the advice so far.

My son is 8 yrs old. Our case is in Okaloosa County. My case with my ex is way deep. Once he got married his spouse became involved in my relatioship with my son and one time when I called she took the phone from him and her and I had a striaght up arguement. Now I know for a fact that not all step-parents are bad people and that there a nation full of them that try to what is right by the child but so far in my experience with the ex's spouse this has not been the case.

In the orginal parenting plan set by the state and the ex's attorny I had everything a NCP could ask for. I even had special orders incase the ex was TDY (though that never went through) I even had special summer visitations where he could spend the WHOLE summer with me unless it interfered in extracurricular activities.

As for CS I want to pay it. I have no problem paying it.

I could go on and on about my case but it would be too much to talk about.

If there is any more advise I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you,
Alisa

Thank you for your advise.

I had been thinking about moving to Florida but the only person I know there is my son. And now moving to Florida would impossible since my current husband is in the Marine Corps and there are no bases there. Now with that in mind, we are looking into DH getting stationed as close to Florida as possible.

As for mediation he has refused it before but I do not think it would hurt if I asked him again.

That there is a point too...the ex's spouse is not out of the picture. My ex tells me that she didn't mean to do what she did and it was an accident, but that is not what the medical statement said. Yet I can not prove that she has been in contact with my son, just with my ex.

Now I want to what is best for my son, I do not want to put him in any danger. Though I feel this way I also feel that having both parents in his life is what is best for him.

I feel I really screwed myself because I did not fight harder in the begining and now my son is paying for it. It wasn't just the fact I had no money for an attorny but my ex still had control over me emtionally.

I am not sure if there is anything legally I can do. I do not want to go to a lawyer and hire one just to realize that my son will end up hating me.

Is there any suggestions?

May I ask which post?

Alisa

Dear Socrateaser,

I am in some need of some advise. Here is some background information on my case...

In March of 2003 I was raped. I did not file any reports to anyone. At the time my ex was stationed overseas. He returned home after I had told him about it.

In May of 2003 I ended up in the hospital for a drug overdose because I was trying to kill myself because my ex said he was going to divorce me. I was then put into a mental ward for evaluation. During this time my ex had divorce papers drawn up. I was released from the ward only because my ex was bringing me home to parents (they live in AZ). Before my ex would bring me home he made me sign paper work that gave him custody of our son. At the time I was under a doctors supervision and was on medication.

At the end of May my ex traveled with me, my daughter from a previous relationship, and our son to Arizona. He left soon after dropping me and my daughter off on my parents doorstep to go back to Florida where he is stationed.

Our divorce became final in May of 2004. During this time I was seeing a therapist to help me deal with what was happening. I was not seeing another person at the time either. My ex though, was involved with our son's daycare provider who was in the process of getting a divorce herself. They later got married in October of 2004.

Up until my ex's marriage communication between the two of us was hard. Phone visitations with my son were at his convence. Physical visitation was available but I could not afford to visit him as often as I would have liked to. So I tried to increase my phone calls to make up for it. My ex and I only communicated through email. He would  not speak to me on the phone because he said there would be no proof of what was said.

Our divorce and Child Custody and Support is through the state of Florida. I am no longer a resident of the state of Florida but of Arizona. Up until recent events concerning my ex's current spouse I have pretty much agreed to everything. I have had no lawyer (could not afford one) and he has had a lawyer.

The last time I have saw my son was in July of 2005. I recieved a court order from the state of Florida saying that he was in state custody because of abuse aligations against his step-mother and the fact that the ex did not adhere to the no contact order. So I sold my car, asked my family to watch my daughter, and flew to florida just to find out there was nothing I could do. I was allocated a one hour supervisied vist with my son and nothing more.

My son has since been returned to my ex and the ex's spouse lives in another home but comes to my son's home to do all the household chores and cooks the meals but is supposedly gone before my son comes home. She is currently waiting to be sentenced.

Now last year (2006) an Order of Modification was sent to the courts. In the order Custody is to be modicied from Shared Parental to the ex having Sole Physical yet I retain joint Legal.  Also child support was order (I do not mind paying as this is my son). And Visitations would be changed from Normal Visitations to allowing me three weeks to be split between Spring Break, Summer, and Christmas. Now my son has been seeing a therapist since the abuse was first founded and in the new order it states that the visitations may increase up to a total of 30 days per year once his therapist indicates that he is comfortable with spending this extra time with his mother (me).

Now for the help I need...
This Order is still pending. I have not been allowed to talk to my son since my last visit. I tried to get ahold of my son's doctor's and school to get copies of all his records. To no avail.

I recently remarried and gained custody of my oldest ( long story there) and now have the means to try to retain an attorny, but the attorny would be through the military.

As of right now I do not know what to do. I do know that I do not want to take my son away from his father but I do not want to be denied my visitations with my son any longer. I pay my child support on time every month. I am also paying for health exspenses that were incurred and I am sharing the cost of child care. I send him letters and cards as often as possible. Other than what I am doing I do not know what else to do.

Can you please advise me on the best course of action I should take?

Thank you,
Alisa