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Messages - Confuccius

Pages: 1
Father's Issues / Yes, yes, and no
« on: May 31, 2007, 05:32:26 AM »

The child goes to school in my school district.
I have primary residency at all times.
Since there is a 50/50 shared physical custody, neither parent pays the other child support.

However, Parent B despises this situation (loss of control) and, counting on the age of 12 as the age of choice, has been "working" feverishly to influence the child's mind over the past few years.

Since the child and I have a very close bond (always had, from day 1), it now is backfiring on parent B, which will enrage this parent even more.


Father's Issues / RE: Teach the child to dial 911
« on: May 28, 2007, 10:15:13 AM »
In GA, even though the law says 14, it is totally up to the discretion of the judge - as are most things. Some judges use 14, some 16, some 12.

Dailing 911 is useless.
By the time the police shows up, parent B will put up a magnificant show of how wonderful of a family they have, and the call was a mistake, or the child was just a little upset over nothing.
By then the child will also have been coerced to confirm parent B's story, by threat of severe corporal punishment.

The only way the child is willing to report the abuse to anybody, is with the assurance to receive full and complete protection from parent B, which will not happen.

As usual, nothing will change until something bad happens.

Father's Issues / RE: Help!! Courtroom procedure advice
« on: May 28, 2007, 06:34:03 AM »
If your attorney will not be there for trial, and his partner does not want to represent you, you need to fire him and hire a new attorney.

Or you can go to court whenever the date is, and ask for a continuance because your attorney is out of town. However, this will cause a significant delay which is very much to your disadvantage.

I strongly advise to not do this on your own. Moreover, if you do have an attorney, and he/she does not show, in most cases the judge will not let you represent yourself, and automatically do a continuance.

Good luck.

Father's Issues / It's not that black-and-white
« on: May 28, 2007, 06:25:04 AM »

Throwing and pushing a child to the ground and then kick the child is physical abuse in every state. However, as long as there are no marks on the child, there is nothing I can do.
IF I report that, DEFACS will go to the parent B's house to investigate, parent B will put up the show of being the perfect parent, and the charges will be determined to be unfounded. I know how DEFACS works (or doesn't), as my new spouse worked closely together with DEFACS in another county.
After that, I will have lost all credibility.

Frequently yelling at the child, regularly calling him an a$$hole etc. qualifies as verbal abuse.

Continuously attempting to coach him into going to school in her district, comming to live with her, and not allowing him to disagree with her constitutes mental abuse. (my spouse is a counselor and knows).

If parent B would find the revorder, this parent would take it away, destroy it, and punish the child for it.

The GAL is, I expect, not going to be much help either. She believes in the status quo no matter what.


Father's Issues / RE: What would you do?
« on: May 25, 2007, 07:25:01 AM »
Thank you for your quick response.

This option was discussed with the child. However, same fear: after the counselor reports it, the child still has to go home to parent B.

In addition, school's out for summer vacation, so that option has passed.

But you're right, this would have been a better option. Unfortunately, the child was not ready to do this until that option passed.


Father's Issues / What would you do?
« on: May 25, 2007, 07:13:40 AM »
Rethorical question:

Scenario: Shared physical custody, on a week-to-week basis.
The child hates the arrangement, and has told one of the parents (A) so for the last 3 years, and wants to come live full-time with this parent A.
The child has told the other parent (B) only once. The response was: "If I hear you repeat that one more time, I'll kick your a$$ like never before."
In addition, the child reports frequent verbal and mental abuse by parent B, and infrequent physical abuse. Never any marks though, so nothing to report.

Note: Parent B believes that children in GA are allowed to choose at age 12, which in reality is the case in only few custody disputes.

Now the child is 11 (almost 12), and - during one of the following transfers from parent B to A - wants to tell parent B that he wants to live with parent A full time.
The child however is very scared about having to return to parent B a week later.

What would you do?

- Call for an emergency hearing? I don't believe there are enough grounds for that.

- Call the guardian, either before or after telling parent B? Guardian is not a favorable person, but has the duty to protect the child, and has failed to do so in the past.

- Do nothing, and hope parent B won't hurt the child, after having a week to "cool off"?

- Have parent A call parent B the next day, get a feel for the mood, and see how parent B wants to handle this?

Any other suggestions?
What would you do?

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