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I have to say, I'm stoked I'm not married to you!  I'm sorry, but
if you're married to someone who you think is a coo coo brain, why not deal with it?

There have been times in my past that I've been clearly straight up out of my mind, but my husband wasn't thinking about court.  He wasn't perfect when it came to my mood swings, my irritability, my irrational behavior.  He chalked it up to my issues with an ex.  (and PMS) He helped me for the most part.  Looking back, I'm thankful
I had him as my rock rather than a creep who only wants to gain from my misfortune.

I sh*t you not, if I was in a state of weirdness, and found out my husband wanted to take me to court to 'show the judge what a lunatic i was', and i WASN'T one, I'd be horrified.  Now, on the other hand, if there really was some sort of chemical imbalance in my skull, I'd probably be pushed off the deep end.  Then you'd really
be dealing with some serious issues.

When was the last time you actually broke down and had a heart to heart with her?  "hey honey, I love you, but damn, you act like you have no marbles left in that noggin of yours.  What's going on?  Is there anything I can do to make life easier or help with
anything?"  That's what a husband or wife is supposed to do.  It's called breaking the ice in a relationship which clearly doesn't have a whole lot of communication.

If there's something wrong with her, you need to help.  Don't make it worse.  It's soooo easy to toss someone off the deep end with crude remarks and actions like you want to take.

Perhaps she has had something horrific happen to her years ago?  Perhaps she's living in her own personal hell and deep down inside she's begging the man she loves and married to really see her?  

Another possibility, and i'm not saying this is what's going on.  But are you planning a divorce and want to begin getting the so called 'upper hand' with child custody? Are you, deep down in your soul deliberatly being a jerk to her so you can get the ball rolling?  Perhaps, and again i'm not saying this is what's going on, but perhaps she's responding to that?  Why else would you be asking about taking your wife to court when you aren't even divorced?

Sorry if i'm wrong about your post, but to me, it reeks of underhanded behavior to get the upper hand.

first off, I want to say that I'm so terribly sorry you and your child are living this.  However, there are many things you can do to help your baby.

First and foremost.  Accept the fact you mated with a baffoon and your child will forever know and love this person.  There's not a single thing you can or should do to keep these two apart unless there's some wicked gnarly abuse going on.  Let me explain before you decide you want to kill me.

I, too, bred with a total idiot.  I'm dealing with the alcoholism, the pot smoking, the cigarette smoking in the house, the loud obnoxious parties, the taking her to bars, the pathological lying, which, to this day is completely mind boggling, the missing in action for months (a few times years) on end, with no explanation except "You stupid bitch!  You denied me visitation!!!"

But, I had a kiddo with him.  So now I have to deal.  My child is almost 10 years old.  She hates him.  But she loves him.  She never wants to see him again.  But every other friday, she's excited to go.  Every other Sunday she says over and over how much she loves me, and what a great parent I am, yet come next parenting weekend, she's clawing to get out of the house to spend time with him. What do you do?

If your ex has every other weekend, that's 4 days a month.  This means you have 27 days to put all the goodness, the strength, the love humanly possibly so that she (or he, I can't remember, sorry) can handle 4 days of pure crap.  4 days seems like alot of time for a child to be around parties and drunken boobs, but think of it like she/he isn't around it 27 days.  She/he has to deal with hell 4 days a month, but is in a good, safe environment 27.  

A Guardian ad litem once told me that as long as there isn't physical or sexual abuse going on, let the relationship go on.  Knowing a less than stellar father or mother is far superior than not knowing him/her at all.  Kids learn from the garbage they're put through.  If you're thinking of trying for no parenting time, just know that your child will hold this man in such high regard because he/she doesn't know any better, and then hate you for it.  They won't see it as you protecting them.  You will be the jerkface who took made their other parent go away.  

Teach your child to take care of itself.  It's ok to make your own bowl of cereal or toast, then a sandwich at lunch.  It's ok to microwave a corndog for supper.  It's only 4 days a month.  It's ok that they're alone in their room while the other parent is down in the basement drinking like a fish.  Teach your child to entertain themselves.  Read a book.  Watch a show.  Draw.  It TOTALLY sucks.  But it's only 4 days.  

That was the hardest thing for me to learn.  I wasted so much time and money in court, on lawyers, on GAL's, it's ridiculous!  I thought I needed to 'teach that bastard' because he was a fool.  All I needed to do was  love my child those 27 days I have her each month.  I had to teach her that sometimes people act weird, are weird, and that includes me.  (unfortunatly she agreed on that one)  It took me almost 5 years to grow up and realize that no matter what, I'm a great parent, he's a moron, she loves us both, and I need to just take the good as it comes and roll with the bad. So does she.

Enjoy what you have.  Let your child enjoy what he/she has.  And remember, the best parent always wins in the end.  When this child is an adult, she/he will remember all the bullshit at the other parents house and all the love attention and respect at yours.

Take care,
pandabear