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Do you have a court order or visitation in place?

Are you established as the father of the child on the birth certificate? In other words was a paternity test done?

If not, you need to do these things. File for paternity. File for custody and visitation and then if she's the one that moved she's going to have to foot part of the transportation.

You have a right to be in your childs life. She can't hold the strings like this on you forever and allowing her to have this power over you is just wrong.

Don't let her keep getting away with it. Otherwise you'll never be in your childs life.

Good luck to you.

To me it just sounds more like a control issue than anything else, but if the child is sick, I'd be taking them to the doctors and having it documented.

The ear infections that another thing too. Is the child around second hand smoke? There's something else you could possibly have put in your court order if you wanted. But if the bio mom smokes too, what's the sense?

Yeah but those cases are few and far between. Few and far especially in the 70's.

I know Dad's that are raising their kids, but the Mom's had to do something pretty serious to lose custody.

One Dad has custody of his boys because his ex was dumping them on him while she was busy partying and doing drugs and having the crap beat out of her while they were with their Dad and in front of them.

Not too smart.

He acted quick and grabbed custody. She didn't like it so she hooked up with someone else and had even more kidsand moved out of state.

She doesn't even bother to see her boys at all or pay child support. Nice huh?

But for the most part it's women who do get custody.

It's true, and it's sad. Fathers are treated like second rate citizens when it comes to raising their own children. Mom's still get first billing. Hate to say it but it's right there in the court rooms and other places.

My son himself struggles the prejudices of it. It just is.

Raising a child doesn't make a man a hero, it just makes him a parent. It just changes the people around them that call him a hero because the woman dies, which makes them MORONS. If like Gemini said it was a divorce situation, Dad wouldn't be raising the child at all because he wouldn't be looked at as capeable. So true. Just makes you angry.

I was going to suggest the same as Ocean.   Don't tell anyone what you have planned and it'll probably drive her nuts.   And if the kids ask, just tell them you haven't decided yet, that's all.

You'll let them know when you do. Because she'll probably hound them till she gets information. My son deals with this too. It's a pain in the butt. What he buys, she buys. What he does she does.

Last year, for their sons birthday she TOLD him, didn't ask him, TOLD him that she was making the plans and that he would be paying for half. His family was invited if they wanted to come but that her entire family would be there and all her friends. Much more than his side. She was going to have quite the spread and she had no money. NONE...So she was expecting him not to foot the entire bill.

He told her NO WAY. She got so mad.

He told her straight up, why should I come to a party where I'm not wanted first of all, and where I'm going to be paying over 500 dollars and where I"m going to be ignored and where I probably won't get any of the food? What the heck? He told her no forget it.

How it works with these two is he gets every weekend visitation. She is a stickler with her days and will not let him have ANY extra time of her time at all what so ever!!! none. She used to. But that has stopped. They had an argument because he wanted to do 50/50 and she flipped out.

So now she won't allow him any extra time. Now he's got the weekends, and this summer when the birthday rolls around he's not going to allow her time to celebrate on the weekend, she wants to do it, she can do it in the evening, or she can do it during the week. That's her time. She wanted to be a hard nose, so this is how it goes. Right or wrong. This is what you get.

I don't think it's so much that the system doesn't support fathers, as it is that fathers don't assert themseves as much as they should.

They don't realize that they have as many rights as they do. They feel that they are beat down from the word get go, know what I mean.

They need to go out there and grab the world by the big ones.

Tell your brother I wish him luck.

Fight the good fight.

It's worth it in the long run.

My son's ex tried to replace him with a new daddy, and the guy is already long gone. Yep. Go figure. :::Shakes head::::

Here's the thing - I read lots of posts where the real issue is control, yet the poster goes on about the child's best interests.  I find this very irritating.   

For example - pecancreek is concerned about her baby being in a car during an ice storm.  Valid concern.  She says that, for the best interest of the child, ex should come pick the child up earlier than previously agreed.  Ex does not want to do this - who know why.  So now pecancreek is upset with ex because he is not behaving in the way she wants him to.  If the ONLY concern was over the child, why isn't she offering to drop the child off instead of insisting that ex come at a time she decided on without discussing it with the ex? 

Because the real thing that is upsetting her is that her ex isn't doing what she wants him to do, the way she wants him to do it.  If she was just concerned about protecting the child, she would figure out a way to make sure her child gets to spend time with her father without being on the roads after dusk.

I agree with Gemini on this totally.

My son recently went through something similar to this with his ex. She wouldn't allow him to go and pick up thier son because she was peeved about another issue that was going on between them. Something that got added to a court order that is no long allowing her parents to smoke around their son.

So he's no longer allowed to do pick ups and drop offs in her driveway (according to her parents) Probably because they don't want him to see them smoking indoors. Or don't want him to see the lack of them smoking outdoors.
Either way, she wouldn't allow him to get their child early during bad weather because of her anger on this issue and made him wait till the normal court ordered time of pick up in a store parking lot. Making for a much more dangerous ride for the child in Mom and Dad's vehicles.

Why would someone do this? Know what I mean? He begged her the entire day to please let him get the child early and that he'd even give him back early on Sunday and she just wouldn't budge. No way. Sad isn't it? And she's so stubborn on giving him any extra time, but she expects him the NCP to always bend for her. ALWAYS!!! And he usually does.